Relationships can come with all sorts of baggage. Even if it’s the first relationship for both of you, the river of love is never plain sailing. If he’s recently exited a relationship, he might not yet have moved on and he might be bringing all sorts of issues and problems into your journey as a couple. He might not even realize it for himself, but here are the main signs you’re his rebound girl.
One of the key things to help you see that he is on the rebound rather than being really into you is if he is constantly comparing things you do or say to things that his ex used to do or say. Sure, there is a little bit of leeway here, especially if the ex-girlfriend was a big part of his life for a long time, but constant recalling of her compared to you is not healthy and is a clear sign that he is either trying to mold you into her or is simply just not over her and still loves her.
Another thing to look out for is whether all, or the majority, of your dates and trips seem to follow a pattern that your boyfriend acknowledges is very similar to how his last relationship played out. He might take you to the very same cinema that they used to go to, or the same restaurant that he says was their favorite. Though these places might be nice, it is vital that you try create to your own memory lane rather than walk the path created in his last relationship.
If he keeps making excuses for the lack of presence of his friends on nights out or parties, it could be because he is not yet ready for his social circle to see that he has started to move on from his ex-girlfriend. Whether the reason for this is because his friends loved the ex or if he isn’t confident in introducing you as the next girlfriend, either way it is an awkward and worrying situation to be in.
So, you think the relationship is going well and you are considering taking things to a new, more mature level of commitment. The problem is, why is he so scared or reluctant? It is natural for some worry and trepidation to surround a new chapter in relationships, but if he is actively avoiding taking the next step then it could be down to the fact that he still has not gotten over his previous relationship and truly does see you as a non-permanent interlude to ease the hurt.
The physical side of the relationship might be great, but are you talking and communicating emotionally as much as you should be? A lack of personal connection is a big red flag in terms of trying to gauge how he really feels about the relationship. Is it true love or is he only finding physical comfort with you to ease the emotional pain of his last break up?
There is nothing more telling of a rebound than if your new boyfriend still has heaps and heaps of his ex’s possessions in his home. Somebody that truly wanted to get over the relationship and move on would strive to rid himself of any memory of her. Keeping her belongings around suggests that he is not yet ready to forget, and that puts you in an awkward position.
This is much like the point about not having met his friends, but can sometimes be even more telling. Meeting a partner’s parents is a big step at any point of the relationship, but if your boyfriend is actively avoiding setting a date for it then you have to wonder if he thinks that you are not a serious enough part of his life to take this step. If not, then it is quite possible that both he and his parents still have strong attachments to an ex.
Any of these signs on their own should be addressed, but your reaction to them should depend on how long you have been together. But sorry to say, that if you see a few of these signs, there’s a very strong chance your man is on the rebound. And if he isn’t, there are still very definite issues to be dealt with.
Have you ever been in a rebound relationship? How did you deal with it?