There are quite a few couples therapy exercises you can try at home, especially since everyone has a lot of daily responsibilities, long to-do lists and big stressors in their life. That’s why it’s sometimes so easy to neglect your partner or to take them for granted. That special connection you share with your significant other needs to be cultivated, and couples therapy can help you strengthen your relationship and work through difficulties. Here are a few very effective couples therapy exercises that you should try, since they will help you get closer to your partner and nourish a stronger bond:
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1. Appreciation List
In my opinion, this is definitely one of the most effective couples therapy exercises you can try at home. For five days, you are supposed to write one thing every day that your partner did that you appreciated. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture; you can add simple, sweet gestures that actually mean a lot to you - for example, the fact that they joined you for your daily walk in the park.
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Couples therapy is a type of psychotherapy that helps couples understand and resolve conflicts in their relationship. It can be beneficial for couples of all kinds, including married couples, same-sex couples, and couples who are dating. One of the most effective couples therapy exercises that can be done at home is the Appreciation List. This exercise involves writing down one thing each day that your partner did that you appreciate. It can be something small, such as them joining you for a walk in the park, or something larger, such as them helping you out with a project.
The goal of this exercise is to help couples focus on the positive aspects of their relationship, rather than the negative. It can be a great way to show your partner that you recognize and appreciate the things they do for you. It can also help couples reconnect and strengthen their bond.
In addition to the Appreciation List exercise, there are other couples therapy exercises that can be done at home. These can include communication exercises, such as active listening, and conflict resolution exercises, such as problem-solving and negotiation. There are also activities that focus on improving intimacy, such as exploring each other’s fantasies.
2. Air Your Dirty Laundry
Just like your clothes, your relationship gets dirty every day as well, since all kinds of unspoken resentments and minor irritations sneak into your interactions. Once a week, ask your partner to tell you what things you did that made them feel unappreciated, unloved or disrespected. Maybe at first, they will tell you that everything is fine, but just dig a little deeper and really listen to what they have to say.
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It's crucial to approach this exercise with an open heart and mind. No defensiveness or excuses allowed; your goal is to understand and address your partner's feelings. It might be uncomfortable at first, but this kind of vulnerability can deeply strengthen your bond. Ensure this is a two-way street, with both partners sharing and listening. This practice not only clears the air but also fosters a habit of open communication, which is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. Over time, you'll likely find that the air between you is fresher, and grievances don't pile up like forgotten laundry.
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3. Make a Fun List
I’m sure that there are a lot of fun things you would like to do with your partner. Just make a list and try to check one item off that list every month or even every week. Try to enjoy each other’s company more and discover what common interests you two share that you didn’t even suspect.
4. Resolve Disagreements before Bed
Make sure you always resolve disagreements before bed, since arguments that linger without being resolved usually lead to frustration and resentment. In the long term, these things are really toxic to your relationship and your happiness. Just try to resolve your arguments on the day that they start and focus on finding a solution that will satisfy both of you.
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Ensure that you approach resolution with a team mindset. It's not about winning the argument but understanding each other's perspectives and reaching a compromise that feels fair. Communicate openly and listen actively, demonstrating empathy and patience. Incorporating simple strategies like using "I feel" statements rather than accusatory "You always" language can prevent escalation of the issue. Remember, this exercise not just strengthens your bond but also ensures that you both will wake up with lighter hearts and a renewed sense of partnership.
5. The Love List
Just write down five things that your partner can do or that they already do to show you their love. This way, you will notice much better how your partner tells you that they love you every day without actually saying it. Most of the time, those are not big and expensive gestures, but small and significant little things that are very simple to do but which show you how much they love you.
6. Honesty Hour
You could try having an honesty hour every week where you would be allowed to tell your partner how you feel about certain things with complete immunity. This way, you will learn to be more honest with each other, you will listen more carefully and you will learn to respect each other’s opinions without taking things too personally.
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Initiating an honesty hour can be incredibly liberating. It's a safe space where vulnerability is encouraged and judgment is left at the door. As you engage in this practice, you'll begin to notice a stronger bond forming, fueled by the deep trust that only truth can cultivate. Just remember to set clear ground rules at the outset to create a reassuring environment where feelings can be expressed freely and kindness prevails. Over time, this could evolve into one of the most cherished rituals you share, strengthening the foundation of your relationship.
7. Intimacy Builder
Take your significant other and just go into a room that isn’t your bedroom, turn off your phones, put your kids to bed and then simply sit so you’re facing each other and your knees are almost touching. Then, take a minute or even more and just look into each other’s eyes, consider your thoughts, reactions and feelings and then, share them with your partner. This exercise promotes that intimacy that is often lost in the busyness of our day and it helps us tune into our partner’s inner world, as well as into our own.
If your relationship is in distress it’s very important to seek counseling, since it can help you solve a lot of problems. Do you know any other wonderful couples therapy exercises that everyone can try at home? Please tell us about them in the comments section!
Sources: yourtango.com, psychcentral.com, ehow.com, ehow.com
Comments
Dragonflydiva: love this all relationship can use a tuneup because life gets do busy we forget to stop and breathe with our partner.
Katie: most of these sound like easy & good ideas....however #4 I don't quite agree with....sometimes going to bed before resolving an issue, disagreement, etc., it can often be much more productive & helpful for both to get a goodnight's rest, & then wake up with a fresh new outlook on the day & going thru the issue with a possible new fresh & different perceptive on things.....doesn't always happen, but continuing to go over & over the conflict late into the night, usually never turns out truly helpful or good for either & often both parties. that's what I've found works for me at least!! 😎
Ree: I've found it to be quite helpful if I want to talk to my boyfriend about something "about himself" to touch him in some form while saying what I have to say. This helps to not only keep myself calm, but to help make sure that my message is accepted with sincerity and love.
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