Wondering how to find love when you're an eccentric? I am a self-identified eccentric without kids, never married and in my mid-thirties. Eccentricities aside, I am a minority in the dating world. As if finding love isn’t hard enough, mix in a natural inclination for sarcasm, and a laugh that will either fill or clean out a room, and you get a unique human dancing to the beat of a different drum (sometimes literally).
In my 35+ years of navigating through life as an eccentric, I’ve learned many things about finding and losing love. Three rules of advice on how to find love when you're an eccentric are profoundly helpful and are as follows.
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1. Love Yourself
Loving yourself is the best answer for how to find love when you're an eccentric. This is not always as simple as is should be. We humans are flowable, and with that being said, learning to or continuing to love oneself is an ongoing process that needs as much effort and commitment as any other relationship. Loving oneself as an eccentric offers its own set of challenges, mainly because we will never fit a specific mold or the sense of norm society has created.
Sometimes, we let societal norms break us down. We may even take extreme measures to fit in, maybe thinking there is something wrong with our true self. I am here to tell you to STOP THIS SELF HATE, be comfortable coloring out of the lines, embrace your differences and most importantly, love yourself! This is the first step to finding love because without it the process of finding love can NOT begin.
2. Embrace Your Differences
The right person will not only accept your unique eccentric qualities, but they will also love you for them. The right person will find your quirks endearing. I promise!! And yes, there will be more than one person in this world who will find your uniqueness to be infatuating. Think of looking through a bag of green skittles for the one blue one.
If how you look at the world and how you choose to conduct yourself can clear out all the unrequited love that would have otherwise left you heartbroken for all the wrong reasons, wouldn’t you choose to display your difference? So, my lovely eccentric, be proud of your quirkiness! Be yourself always and be unapologetic in doing so. You are a rare gem who will be loved and will love in return just by being you.
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Embracing your differences is akin to wielding a secret superpower. Your distinct perspective on life and the vibrant energy you bring to a room can captivate the right kind of partner—one who is genuinely attracted to the authentic you. And remember, it's not about changing to fit the mold; it's about finding the one who cherishes the mold you've already cast. By honoring your individuality, you craft a love story that is as extraordinary as you are. Dare to stand out, for in the vast sea of sameness, it is your singular sparkle that will catch the affectionate eye.
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3. Know when to Let Go
As Aristotle once said “Change in all things is sweet”, but change is not always easy. We can’t help it! Eccentric or not, we are all changing with every breath we take and every day that becomes night. I would be lying to you if I said you will find love and you will have that love forever and always. We fall in love and we fall out of love, it’s the ebb and flow of the universe. And you sweet eccentric will find as we move away from love, you may blame yourself. You may even start to back away from your true self and your eccentric ways. DON’T DO IT!! You have learned what you needed to from the love that you had. You have grown, you have changed, and now you need to let go and move on. Holding onto something that felt so good is only natural, but from experience, I can tell you that if you choose to hold on to something that needs to be let go of, the universe will try and guide you on a different path.
The path you're meant to be on! If you refuse to let go when that time has come, the universe may start pushing pretty hard against your reality and the outcome may be worse than the fear that prevented you from letting go in the first place. The outcome is the long way around. You will end up in the same place eventually, but think of all the sincere love that you are missing while you struggle along the turbulent path. It’s hard but it gets easier. It hurts but only for so long. Let go of the fears that keep you from being you, and let go of those who you have grown apart from or who have grown apart from you. There is always something on the horizon. Something that will take you to such wonders and greatness that you have not yet conceived.
Dear Eccentric, I leave you with this……. Let go! Love is on your side.
