Does your boyfriend’s ex refuse to leave him alone? Maybe she calls him, stalks him on social media or is just generally around too much for your comfort. So what’s a girl to do? It turns out there’s a lot you can do in this situation!
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1. Evaluate the Circumstances
You don’t want to panic when there’s an ex that won’t leave your boyfriend alone. You need to be calm and approach the situation in a reasonable manner. The first thing you want to do is evaluate the circumstances. Are there good reasons for your boyfriend’s ex to contact him? If they share a child together, then there’s always going to be some contact between them. Do they have some old business they need to discuss such as a shared credit card or something similar?
2. Observe Your Man
This one is important. Observe your man when his ex contacts him. How does he act? This can tell you if you have anything to worry about or not. If he doesn’t like to talk to her and acts aggravated or frustrated when she contacts him then relax; he doesn’t like it any better than you do. However, if he lights up when she calls or is flirty toward her then you have a problem.
Frequently asked questions
It's frustrating when an ex can't move on! Often, they might still have feelings or aren't ready to let go. Other times, it's about control or fear of being alone. What's important is how your boyfriend handles the situation.
Honestly, that's a tricky one. It can sometimes make things worse. It's usually better to have your boyfriend handle it. This way, it's clear that he's moved on.
That can be pretty upsetting. Try to have an open, honest talk with him about your feelings. If he respects you, he'll understand and work on setting boundaries.
Supporting him is key! Listen to his frustrations, offer advice if he wants it, and remind him you're in this together. Being a team makes this challenge a bit easier to handle.
If things don't get better, it might be time to rethink the relationship. A healthy relationship needs boundaries and mutual respect. You deserve to feel secure and prioritized.
3. Answer His Phone☎
This’s a strategy to try. Maybe your boyfriend’s in the shower or talking to a friend and can’t get to his phone. That’s a good time to answer for him. Sometimes just letting an ex know that you’re in the picture can help. It’s a reminder that he’s moved on.
4. Give It Some Time 🕞
Sometimes the best thing to do is give it time, especially if it’s not happening constantly. His ex may get the hint and stop contacting your boyfriend on her own. She may just need to see that he’s with you now and you’re not going anywhere. Patience can pay off in this situation. That all depends on how extreme her actions are.
5. Ask Him to Handle It
If his ex is truly an issue then something needs to be done. The best way to handle this is for you to not handle it at all. She’s not going to listen to you and in fact, may up her attempts to connect with your boyfriend to spite you. The best solution is for your boyfriend to put a stop to it. If he doesn’t want to end his contact with her then that’s a red flag.
6. Trust Your Gut
Intuition or gut feelings are seldom wrong. What’s your intuition telling you? Is the issue mainly on the part of his ex? Or is it possible he’s not ready to sever his ties with her? These’re difficult questions to ask yourself but it’s important to be real here. You deserve your own honesty.
7. Exit the Situation
If the situation isn’t one where he needs to have contact with her then you may decide it’s best to exit the situation. That’s a decision only you can make. You deserve someone who only has eyes for you. You also deserve someone who will follow appropriate boundaries when it comes to your relationship. Don’t settle for anything less.
It’s difficult to deal when your boyfriend’s ex won’t leave him alone. Are you in this situation? You’re welcome to share.
Comments
Melissa123: This is literally happening now. My boyfriends ex found out we are going out and started venting to him..I'm trying not to care since he told me right away that she texted him, but idk, I feel so weird and idk what to do
Kylie: Okay so my boyfriend is a marine he dated his ex for three years. Once he left for bootcamp they still stuck together cuz duh. Thats a horrible reason to leave. When he came back he found out she cheated on him. He broke up with her since hes given her multiple chances. Well 2 months later she got married and pregnant with another male. Its been almost a year since. Well i just went and met him about a month ago and she texted him on snapchat saying thanks for ignoring me and ofc I went off like come on man really first time. So he blocked her and then 2 hours later she texted his number so after that he was like fuck that and removed her on legit everything cuz clearly she still didnt understand. Well she texted his mom and asked if i was there and when she found out i wasnt she went on a whole other instagram and said why did you remove me with a sad face. Okay well he went off but its been about a month now but if she gets ahold of him again were telling her husband. Just needed to rant about this but im excited to seee him again in 24 days. >3
GJP: Always a difficult thing to handle.
Shannon: Current situation. My bf and his ex have a kid together, but shes cheated on him too many times to count, left him stranded to go party with other guys. Then found out he was talking to me and all of a sudden loves him and wants him back. He told her straight out, "I want to be with her(me), I don't want to be with you". I was there when he told her, but she just doesn't get it. I'm in a horrible position, I don't want be the reason he can't see his son if she's that type or person. I to have a kid, and every kid deserves their dad in their life, unfortunately for my daughter, her dad and I will never be together again. Only thing I'm certain of, I will not allow his son to be let down, and if that means giving my bf up and my happiness and love, I will, because that little boy deserves him more than me or his ex and needs him more than I ever will. Tough situation. Advice?
Amaris: I always had a gut feeling that my now ex wasn't over his ex. He denied it all the time, but my gut feeling was right and now he stopped talking to me since he admitted he isn't over his ex. ALWAYS listen to your gut feeling. Most times it's right.
Serene: I think it is sinister that he keeps her naked pictures. I find it totally unacceptable.
Krystal: My boyfriend ex keeps calling him begging him to come back he claims he's done
Anniece: My boyfriend is in the same situation it just kind of started she has even gone to sleepover we his place. He sleeps with his brother just to avoid her but it's frustrating especially for me. What do I do?
Eilyn: Me too my husband ex always flirt with him
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