It takes time to get to know and understand your guy. It may take a while to realize that he gets jealous easily or that he can be possessive. In the early days of a relationship, this is cute. We even find it flattering. As time goes on however, we realize this is controlling, and that it is more about his insecurities than his love for you. If you think your BF has crossed the line from cute possessive to ugly jealousy, it’d probably because you’re seeing these red flags.
Snapshot Survey
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1. He Wants to Be Involved in All of Your Decisions
Does he always find a way to work himself in to your decision making, even when it is for something that isn’t even relevant to you as a couple? This screams possessiveness and a need to control your life.
2. He Hides behind ‘Love’
Does he always just hide behind the fact that he loves you whenever you accuse him of being over the top with regards to jealousy? That makes it seem like it’s your problem when in fact he might have boundary issues.
Frequently asked questions
Oh boy, if he's constantly checking your phone, wanting to know where you are every second, or gets upset when you spend time with friends, those are major red flags. It's all about control and insecurity on his part.
A little jealousy can be normal, but if he's overreacting or trying to stop you from seeing other guys altogether, that's a big no-no. He should trust you and not feel threatened constantly.
There's a fine line, trust me. If he's looking out for your safety, that's protective. But if he's trying to control who you talk to, what you wear, or where you go, that's definitely possessive.
It feels suffocating because it's all about control. Instead of feeling loved, you end up feeling trapped and constantly monitored. That's not healthy for any relationship.
Change is possible but challenging. He needs to recognize his behavior, want to change, and possibly get professional help. But remember, you shouldn't have to wait around for someone to change to feel safe and respected.
3. He Has Slight Stalking Tendencies
Do you find him stalking your friends and family on Facebook in a way that makes you think he is trying to investigate your actions? That isn’t normal behavior for a partner.
4. He is against New Experiences
He has an instant dislike of you wanting to do or try anything new, especially when that new experience doesn’t involve his participation in any way shape or form.
5. He Sees Red Easily
He has the tendency to get angry way before any normal person would when it comes to discussing your relationship or having slight disagreements with one another.
6. He is Too Inquisitive
Being open and honest with one another is an integral part of a relationship, but does he cross the boundary line and demand more information from you that you demand from him?
7. He Knows Your Passwords
Does he want to know all of your passwords for your accounts and devices? Why else would he want them other than to snoop around when you aren’t looking?
8. You Absolutely MUST Answer His Calls
You are afraid to miss a call from him because you know that it will lead to a huge argument when you get home, even if it was a simple mistake.
9. He Arranges Your Social Life
Is he the one in the relationship that plans when you go out and who you go out with? Perhaps it is because he is trying to keep you away from certain people that he feels threatened by?
10. He Ridicules Your Friends
If he doesn’t have anything nice to say about the people who you love the most, then it is probably because he is jealous of the strong relationships that you have with your best friends.
11. He Hates Space between You
If it were up to him, you would basically live in each other’s pockets because he hates the thought of there being space between you, both literally and metaphorically!
12. His World Revolves around You
This is not necessarily a bad thing in principle, but it can be disturbing when he has literally no other interests or passions other than being with you.
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When a man's entire purpose seems tethered to your presence, it might initially feel flattering. However, the lack of balance is concerning. Every healthy relationship needs space; personal growth occurs during time spent apart as much as together. If he shows unease when you pursue hobbies or spend time with friends, be wary. This can be a precursor to controlling behavior, trying to isolate you from others, and this possessiveness is a clear sign of unhealthy attachment. Remember, true love empowers, not imprisons.
13. He Always Tags along
Does he insist on going with you to every single event and get together, even if it is just a night in with your friends? He either doesn’t trust you or wants to make sure that you are under his control.
14. He Doesn’t like You Having Fun without Him
He has a real fear of missing out on something and therefore doesn’t really like it when you go and have a fun time without him being present.
15. He Doesn’t like You Complimenting Others
He doesn’t like it when you give a single compliment to another man, even in an innocent way, because in his mind you are comparing him to others in a negative fashion.
16. He Constantly Texts when You’re out
When you are out with other people, you spend most of your time replying to messages from him rather than enjoying the company you’re with.
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This behavior can be suffocating and demonstrates a lack of trust on his part. It's as if he has to keep tabs on you every second. Such incessant communication is not a sign of love but an attempt to control who you're with and what you're doing. Recognize that every individual deserves their own space, and you should be able to enjoy your time without the constant buzzing of your phone with his messages. True affection means trust and the ability to enjoy separate experiences without fear or the need for constant check-ins.
17. He’s Happy when You’re Not
He seems to enjoy it when you are not feeling particularly great, because it means that you will be less likely to want to go out and spend time with other people.
Comments
Bunny: This is what I call transgressions💘
Nychicky: Get away as fast as you can, especially if you are young and he is older!
Mabelle: @Bunny women shiuld be award of these red flags. They can lead to more serious issues.
Mabelle: @Nychicky the last ones are jot as bad as the first ones in the list but these conbined can be a sign of a major problem. Hate number 1 and that is a no no in a relatinship
Brin: Oh ouch
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