If you’ve tried every dating site in the world to no avail, there are places to meet lesbians in real life (meaning no never-ending strings of messages!). Whether you prefer grabbing drinks at the bar come Friday night or scoping the bookstore shelves, meeting girls who like girls can be easier than you’d think. Here are 7 great places to meet lesbians to get you started!
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1. LGBT-Friendly Bars
One of the most popular places to meet lesbians is at a bar or club geared toward lady-loving gals. You can easily Google lesbian bars and parties in your city. If even thinking about walking into a lesbian bar makes you anxious, you might want to consider trying out an LGBT-friendly (but not lesbian-exclusive) bar. For a confidence boost, bring a close friend a.k.a. wing woman along (it works, I promise!). I met my partner at a karaoke night at an LGBT-friendly bar. My straight friend, who was acquainted with her, introduced us and we hit it off –I wasn’t even looking to find someone! But just remember that your main objective in hitting the bar –especially when you’re just coming out– is to make connections and form networks. The more lesbian and bisexual friends you have, the easier it’ll be to find a girl you really click with.
2. Volunteering
In general, volunteering is a great way to meet new, likeminded people, no matter your sexual orientation. Though lesbian and bisexual women have a vast array of interests and volunteer for all sorts of organizations, I’ve met the most girls who like girls at animal shelters and nonprofits specializing in women’s/LGBT rights. Volunteering will put you in direct contact with people who support the causes you do, without any (or at least most) of the awkwardness. Visit volunteermatch.org to search for opportunities near you. And don’t forget that June marks LGBT Pride month. Most cities have entire websites dedicated to Pride events –and volunteers are always needed. For example, check out nycpride.org.
Frequently asked questions
Great question! Some awesome places to meet girls who are into girls include LGBTQ+ events, lesbian bars, online dating apps, and even hobby groups like book clubs or sports teams.
Definitely! Manhattan has a vibrant LGBTQ+ scene. You can try spots like The Cubbyhole, Henrietta Hudson, and Stonewall Inn. These places have a great atmosphere and are super welcoming.
Absolutely! There are many dating apps specifically for LGBTQ+ women, like HER and Lex. Social media and LGBTQ+ forums can also be great places to connect.
Totally get it! Start by going to events or places you're comfortable with. Sometimes going with a friend can help too. And online spaces can be less intimidating – you can take your time to chat before meeting in person.
It can be tricky! The best way is to be open and ask in a respectful way or find it out through conversations about interests and experiences. LGBTQ+ events and spaces also increase the likelihood of meeting like-minded people.
3. Political Activism
If you’ve never been politically active, there’s no better time to break out your posters, buttons, and leaflets than right now. With marriage equality advancing across the country and world, it’s easier than ever to attend a rally or march in support of LGBT rights. Gather your supportive friends and design posters with witty phrases that’ll start conversations and introduce yourself to the people around you. Don’t be shy! To learn more about upcoming events, ‘Like’ pro-LGBT pages on Facebook, such as the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Marriage Equality USA, and GLAAD.
4. Sports
As cliché as it may sound, I’ve always encountered at least a couple of girls who like girls on sports teams. Though not everyone can hit a volleyball over a net, those who are more inclined can join a league for fun (and girls, of course!). For leagues and activities in your area, visit findsportsnow.com.
5. LGBT Clubs and Group Gatherings
Most colleges have at least one LGBT club on campus, but if you’ve already graduated or don’t want to join one, there are always events and group gatherings at meetup.com, which boasts too many lesbian-related groups to count! Poetry readings at your local café, theater performances, indie concerts, and farmer’s markets are all prime places to meet lesbians. Just “bump” into the cutie you have your eye on and take it from there.
6. LGBT-Friendly Churches
Being lesbian or bisexual AND Christian isn’t always easy, but it IS possible. For a list of welcoming churches in your state, visit gaychurch.org. Alternatively, you can find a list of LGBT synagogues and centers on jewishmosaic.org. These spaces are a good way to meet lesbian and bisexual women who share your beliefs and participate in a faith-based community.
7. LGBT Section at the Bookstore
Most bookstore chains like Barnes and Noble have small Gay/Lesbian Studies sections. And if you live in a big city like New York, you can probably find a feminist bookstore (though not all feminists are lesbian/bisexual, many lesbian/bisexual women ARE feminists!). For a list of feminist bookstores, check out charisbooksandmore.com.
Remember: Girls who like girls are anywhere and everywhere, so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and build up your network. Do you have any places to meet lesbian and bisexual women to add to the list? Let me know in the comments!
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