If you have mementos of your ex, it may be time to consider getting rid of them. We've all been through the post break-up period when we sob over photos of our ex-partner and re-read everything they ever wrote to us. But it may not be healthy to hang on to these reminders of the past. Here are some good reasons to throw out mementos of your ex …
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1. Bad Memories
A really important reason to throw out mementos of your ex is that they evoke bad memories. That doesn't necessarily mean reminding you of the break-up; we all have to work our way through that painful stage. The problem is if your relationship had very negative experiences such as cheating or abuse. In those cases, get rid of the physical reminders of a relationship that went bad.
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Keeping items that trigger painful recollections can prevent healing after a toxic relationship. It's like picking at a scab instead of allowing it to heal naturally. Those keepsakes can become chained weights to a period in your life that you need to move on from for the sake of your well-being. Plus, clearing out the clutter of the past opens up space—both physically and emotionally—for new experiences. Without those negative artifacts, it becomes easier to foster a positive mindset and invite in fresh beginnings, untainted by the echoes of past hurts.
2. Living in the past
The problem with hanging on to mementos of your ex is that you are encouraging yourself to go back to the past. You are no longer together and there is a reason for that. Living in the past is not healthy; you need to mourn the end of a relationship with someone you loved, and move on. Live in the present and look forward to the future.
Frequently asked questions
It really depends on how you feel about them. If they bring back bad memories or make it hard to move on, tossing them might help. But if they still bring you joy and don’t hurt, it’s okay to keep them.
Totally normal! Feelings of guilt can pop up, but remember, your emotional wellbeing is important. Keeping things just out of guilt isn’t a good reason to hold on to them.
Start by decluttering and creating new positive experiences. Replace old mementos with things that reflect your current life and happiness. Slowly, those reminders will fade.
Photos can be tricky because they hold a lot of memories. If seeing them makes you sad or stuck in the past, it’s better to store them away, or even delete them if you're ready for that.
Not necessarily. If some items are useful or hold positive value separate from your ex, keep them. But for things that bring you down or stop you from moving on, it's best to let them go.
3. He Gave Bad Gifts
Now, some guys, lovely as they may be, just don't have the present-giving gene. If your ex gave you gifts that secretly made you cringe, get rid (of the gifts, you've already got rid of the guy). You don't have to pretend that you loved them any more. Donate them to a charity who can benefit from the cash. There's really no point in hanging on to things that you don't use or like.
4. New Relationship
If you've moved on to a new relationship, it may be the moment to discard reminders of your previous one. This is especially true if you've still got mementos of someone you dated years ago in high school. Only keep things that genuinely form a part of your history and that you would really regret throwing out. Otherwise toss the lot in the dumpster.
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When you're embarking on a fresh start with someone new, it's important to create an environment that's conducive to nurturing your current love. Holding onto past memorabilia can cast shadows of doubt or keep you anchored to moments that don't serve your present. Consider it a symbolic cleansing—where releasing the old invites new energy into your life and relationship. Plus, your current partner will appreciate the gesture of you fully investing in what's here and now, rather than what was. Keep the space around you reflective of the love you're building today.
5. No Longer Relevant
Every so often, we need to have a clear out of our possessions. Mementos of your ex are often no longer relevant and for this reason should be discarded. There's no sense in keeping items that have nothing to do with your current life. Getting rid of them helps to draw a line under the past and go forward.
6. Hoping against Hope
Do you cling to the hope that you will get back together with your ex? When you were not the one to end the relationship, it is common to believe that there is still hope. You do your best to convince yourself of the possibility that you will be together again, even though you know deep down that it's not going to happen. Hanging on to mementos helps fuel this delusion. Get rid.
7. Moving on
Finally, although it's sad to let go of the final tangible links with an ex, throwing away those reminders of the past helps you to move on. This is the only healthy option. However much we loved someone, the fact is that they are now in our past. There are reasons for that, and they're not likely to change. Come to terms with that loss, and move on to the next stage in your life.
Keeping mementos of past partners can be counter-productive. It keeps us anchored in the past, and hoping for something that can't happen. It may also upset a new partner. Keep the good memories - it's harder to get rid of those! - and work on building your new life. Have you ever kept something that you wish you hadn't?
Comments
Meg-Tam: Once, I got a rock "shaped like a heart" with my name on it. I didn't see the heart shape, it looked just like a normal rock. Fml
Angel: I only keep mine so that years later when I'm like 20 I can look back and have a good laugh at my teen dating years. ~I'm 15 now~
Marissa: I took it a step further and burned everything I could with the exception of a nice piece of jewelry that I am going to sell.
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