Getting into a new relationship with a new guy is full of uncertainty – especially if he is still in love with his ex. However, this situation can happen to anyone, in any type of relationship, no matter how many anniversaries celebrated. From personal experience, it can be hard for a person to heal from a past love that had such a profound impact on their life and heart. Therefore, there's no point in driving yourself crazy about the issue, but to recognize it and act accordingly. If you're one of those females who see the signs but can't quite grasp their meanings, then I will explain here some of the most common red flags that he is still in love with his ex.
1. He Stays in Contact with Her
When a guy keeps the lines of communication open that should immediately let you know that he is still in love with his ex. However, it's not just any type of communication, but one that is quite friendly. Say for instance they text daily and talk on the phone frequently. If the conversation is too sociable, then honey, he is still feeling her. Communication mediums are not only limited to phones either, but it can also be through email, video chat, instant message, or social media. If he refuses to detach himself from her because they're supposedly "just friends," then it may be time for you to wake up to the fact that a man who is really over a past relationship would respect you by not "casually" talking to his ex.
2. He Reminisces on Moments with Her
One of the most disturbing signs is hearing your boyfriend reminisce on endearing moments or events he had with his past lover. If he ever runs into an "I remember moment," then that should definitely make you feel uncomfortable. Additionally, any other conversations of him slightly recalling little things about her are unacceptable. There is no excuse why flashbacks of his ex should be racing through his mind. That period in his life has come and gone and should be replaced with building new memorable moments with you. Maybe he just wants that old thing back (shrug shoulders).
3. He Holds on to Sentimental Gifts from Her
So, he has yet to throw away that T-shirt she bought for him at that one music concert. Then, when you ask to wear it to bed, he gets super protective and makes you take it off because it was a gift from his ex. Well, he may just be holding on to it as a reminder that she still means a lot to him. Anything that triggers an emotional response should be perceived as a major warning sign. It's completely understandable that certain gifts shouldn't be tossed away and forgotten, such as his vehicle she helped him purchased prior to the relationship. However, if there are unnecessary gifts located around the house or in a trunk for keepsake, then there's honestly a problem there.
4. He Social Media Stalks and Talks with Her
Have you recently gone creeping through his social media accounts to see whom he is tweeting or Facebook stalking? Good thing you did! No scratch that. Bad thing you did because you may just find what you've assumed all along. If he creeps on her Facebook page or Instagram, he may just be OBSESSED. Yep, he's not in love any more, but now fixated on his ex. Also, any messages or tweets revealing any signs of flirting shouldn't be taken lightly. He is clearly thinking about going down that route with her again.
5. He Constantly Throws Shade at Her
This red flag is completely the opposite of what has already been listed. Yet, it is definitely a sure sign that shouldn't be overlooked. Speaking ill-mannered of his former girlfriend could totally reveal his true feelings for her. Most women think that because a man trashes a woman, it means that they despise her. But truth-be-told, it could really mean that he has yet to resolve any issues that he has with her. He may dislike her so much that he just can't fathom the thought that they're no longer a couple.
6. He Doesn't Want Anyone else Dating Her
Maybe his ex has recently started dating someone new and he has been in the most horrible mood since then. HELLO! He is without a doubt jealous, and jealousy is the number one sign of having feelings. Here's a scenario: they are still good friends, but he ends the friendship because she's in a new relationship. If he's just friends with her then this newfound love shouldn't get underneath his skin. Furthermore, he openly criticizes the new guy in some way. If he were fully into you and committed to the relationship, then he would careless about his old girlfriend's new lover. After all, he too has a new lover.
7. He Compares You to Her
The worst thing a man could do is compare his current girlfriend to his past girlfriend. I've decided to end this list with the most obvious red flag there is out there. Telling you that she was thinner than you, cooked better than you, or was more considerate than you reveal that he misses those things about her. He basically wishes that you had similar features, personality traits, or customs as his last girlfriend. If he makes you feel like you're constantly competing against his ex, then why put yourself through that much strife? It will forever be a tug-of-war battle between you being yourself and emulating her. At the same time, females will try to make themselves appear better than the former girlfriend to prove to her boyfriend that she is "the one." If this is you, just let that man be with the one he obviously longs for. You're worth more than that.
8. He is Constantly Reminded of Her
If everything he sees or does makes him think of her or things he and her used to do, run! It's a huge red flag in the ways that he's still in love with her. Sure, if they had a long term relationship there may be a restaurant they went to all the time, but if he points out minute things that shouldn't really pertain to an ex, you need to bail before you get too deep.
9. He Brings Her up during Intimate Moments
So you two may be getting hot and heavy early, things are getting intimate and sexual, and then he says her name-this is probably the biggest and most obvious sign he's still in love with her! Run far and fast! Get out while you still have dignity! Cut things off ASAP! Whatever way you put it, he's in love with her. If you're making out and he starts talking about things she used to do or ways she used to kiss him that he liked, he's most definitely still totally in love with her whether he admits it or not.
10. He Goes to Her First
While it's cool they can still be friendly, if he's turning to her for advice or going to her for advice on a job offer or other life changing event, you need to realize he's probably still in love with her-especially if he's going to her before he comes to you. Sure, early on you may not expect him to want your advice on those things, but there will probably come a point where you do, and if he's used to going to her, you're always going to be second rate.
One bit of advice: never date a man who just got out of a long-term relationship with his ex less than three months ago. Typically, you may just be used as a rebound and will eventually find yourself experiencing the scenarios mentioned above. Try to be completely certain that the issues you both would face will always AND only involve you and him. What would you say are some other red flags that give a man away?