Relationships are hard, but you should be able to pick out the relationship red flags at the beginning. Most people ignore the signs off the bat and think it will get better when chances are it won't. If your new love is doing things that you just can’t look past, then have that talk now. Before you read, make sure to take each situation into account. The below doesn't always mean they are true as everyone is different. Here are some relationship red flags that deserve a chitchat or a break up.
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1. He Insults You
This one of those pretty obvious relationship red flags, but some girls really just let this slide. A lot of people think this is like the grade 3 tactic, ‘if they make fun of you, they like you.’ Not always true! There is a very big difference between teasing and insulting. If you feel like he is putting you down in any way, this is a big red flag.
2. He Doesn’t Self Manage Well … or at All
The beginning of a relationship is usually when you want to hang out all the time. If he is ditching you for a plan he just remembered he already had, this could be a red flag. It can of course be an honest mistake if it happens once or twice, but it’s when it starts happening all the time that this is no good.
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3. You Don’t like His Friends
This is a major red flag to me. You are known for whom you hang around with a lot of the time, with of course some exceptions (we all have those crazy friends!). But if you don’t like his core group that he hangs out with constantly, chances are it won't last. Make sure you can easily transition into his life as well as he can yours.
4. He Just Got out of a Long Term Serious Relationship
This can be a huge sign as a lot of the time that person doesn’t want to commit into another serious relationship. Make sure you have that talk if this is the case as you want to know his intentions before you get too far into the love. If he is still fragile due to his last relationship, chances are he needs to move on from that before falling deeper for you.
5. All of Your Dates Consist of Booze and Booty
If your ‘dates’ consist of a lot of drinking and then waking up in each other's bed ‘date’ after ‘date,’ this is a sign he isn’t wanting a girlfriend. Is he calling you late at night to come over? That usually means you’re his booty call. Make sure you know the difference between actually dating someone and being that easy girl that’s just ‘there.’
6. You Don’t Hear from Him Unless You Call Him
This is a MAJOR red flag, ladies. If this is happening to you right now, run for the hills. He needs to put in the same effort you are or it is never going to work. At some point you are going to get tired of not feeling special and having to put forth all of the work. Make sure the relationship is even in every way, such as phone calls, texts and date nights.
7. If Your Friends Say You’ve Changed
If you start seeing this guy, and you find yourself running from everyone you know…red flag. Listen to your friends if they say you have changed for the worst or have disappeared. We have to admit that guys can make us crazy and not always in a good way. If you have found yourself getting down or changing the things you like for him, it's not a good sign.
These are just a few signs that should be alarming when just starting to date a guy. My number one tip is to listen to your heart and gut. As lame as that sounds, it’s true. If you feel like something is wrong, chances are there is something wrong. Is there something that makes you run for the hills?
Comments
laravenclaw: I must admit that I feel a little silly about commenting on one of these... But an impartial third party would definitely help. I am a high school/college student with a little bit of dating under my belt. I haven't dated in two years, though- my last relationship ended in an absolutely horrid manner and I have been reluctant to trust anybody since. He is a college freshman (a complete nerd, like me) with absolutely no dating under his belt. We met at work in September and I quickly developed feelings for him. This was a surprise for me. So, anyways... We started going to movies and stuff (in groups and alone), but I always initiated these outings. As he went to high school with my friend, I knew quite a bit of his background and assumed it was because he was shy with girls. So, last Friday night I revealed to him (using a flip book) that I "was wondering if he go on a date with me?") He smiled the entire time I presented the flip book, and said that he "would love to go on a date with me." He confirmed that it would be his first. (I FEEL LIKE I'M WRITING A BOOK FOR YOU GUYS- please be patient with me). So we arranged to go to Thor on Sunday at 7. We're both comic nuts. We talked in the parking lot for around 30 minutes after the movie and he asked if he could kiss me. And I, of course, said yes. So we kissed once. It was his first kiss. It was chaste. But super sweet. Afterwards, I texted him. I told him I had an amazing time and he said that there would be a second date. But when I texted him on Thursday, asking him if he would be able to do something over the weekend, he didn't even respond. I mean, I wouldn't have been angry had he said no. But it does bother me that he doesn't seem to deem me worthy of a response. And on Friday, at work, he treated me in the same way he always does (which isn't bad) but didn't even seem to acknowledge that I had sent the message or even that the date had even occurred. I really don't want to seem overly clingy.... But I have never put my heart out on the line like I did before... And to be honest, I kind of regret it because I now feel ridiculously vulnerable. I keep thinking it could be because of my body (I'm 5'6 and weigh 171 pounds, so I'm kind of fat) and he's ridiculously skinny (he's probably 5'10 and he once told me he weighs 170)... But anyways, we don't look that awkward together. I mean, I'm losing weight and since he's taller than me, I don't look like a giant next to him. I've rambled long enough. To the point- Has he already lost interest? Was he never interested? I know you haven't met him, but... I tried to be as thorough as possible. PS- please don't sugarcoat it. If the information that I have given indicates that he doesn't want me, then please tell me.
Aly: It all depends on the person :)
Nazanin: Relationships are hard, but you should be able to pick out the relationship red flags at the beginning.I don't understand that, can You please explain that?
Kim: #6 applies for relationships with other ladies as well. They won't make good friends, and you'll get tired. I tried contacting someone & they don't respond all the time. It just frustrates me. They never try to contact me, so it just doesn't work.
Valeria: I agree #6 months you should know if he is serious or not. If not, than it's time to move on. Hope this helps.
Jaer: With number 4 what would you consider a long term relationship?
CherokeeLily: #2 happens to me all the time -_-. I hate his friends they're all losers and i havn't seen my friends since high school, but I know I've changed
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