Ladies, we have all dealt with that poor boy who doesn't see the signs that he is too needy. That persistent calling, showing up to see you uninvited, and hanging out as a constant third wheel is a major turn off. All these major clingers want is to just be around you! But who wouldn't? Here are some signs that he is too needy:
Snapshot Survey
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1. He Gives You Ultimatums
Let me start by saying you are an amazing and beautiful female inside and out. Why else do you think that guy fell for you in the first place? The problem is he's now making you choose between him or anything else going on in your life. Your womanhood is powerful, and when a guy is trying to take that from you, it's a sure fire sign he is too needy. Men will either make you choose between their feelings or yours and if you don't pick theirs, then they make you feel like you're in trouble. Ladies, this is not a man you want in your life. You want a guy, who loves the fact you have your own independence.
2. He Tags along Everywhere
Sometimes you just want to go out, have a few drinks, talk about boys, kinda have a girls' night out. The last expectation you'd have is to bring a date with you to that type of evening. Well, girls, a major sign he is too needy is when he either invites himself or just shows up. Just because he is okay with being a tag along, doesn't mean you should be. Don't be afraid to make it clear to him, that he isn't invited. A boy like that definitely needs boundaries.
Frequently asked questions
If he's always wanting to know what you're doing, constantly texting or calling, or gets upset if you hang out with friends without him, these might be signs he's a bit too needy.
Totally! If you're used to having a lot of alone time and space, anyone who wants to spend a lot of time together might seem needy. It's all about finding the right balance for both of you.
Hmm, I'd say if he's always trying to be around you, gets jealous easily, or needs constant reassurance from you, those are some classic signs.
Yes, unfortunately. If one person feels smothered or overwhelmed, it can cause tension. It's important for both partners to communicate and set healthy boundaries.
Be honest but kind. Let him know you value alone time and independence, and it doesn’t mean you care for him any less. It's about finding a good balance for both of you.
3. He Won't Stop Texting and Calling You
It's great when a guy texts or calls you, just to let you know he's thinking of you, right? There's something so sweet about a smiley face, or a, "hey, you were on my mind". However, when he texts you three times in a row because you didn't respond, then calls you, and won't stop till you answer, that's a clear indication that he is too needy. If he gets mad at you for not being at his beck and call, then move on. Go ahead and tell him to back off, it's for his own good... and yours!
4. He Wants to Be Exclusive Right Away
It's so much fun to take the time to get to know one another. That's why dating exists, right? When a guy says he only wants to be with you and it's been about three dates, it's a major red flag. He could be a psycho controller, or on the other spectrum, insecure to the point that he has to cling on to you. Either way, wanting exclusivity too fast is a clear sign he is too needy.
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He might shower you with constant texts and phone calls, questioning your every move when not together. Adoration is nice, but when it's suffocating, it's a signal that personal boundaries don't mean much to him. This type of behavior could also indicate a lack of trust or a deep fear of abandonment, both of which are unhealthy foundations for a relationship. A balanced connection grows over time, allowing for space and individuality. If you're feeling cornered into commitment, it's probably time to reassess this whirlwind romance.
5. He Always Wants to See You
There are a lot of men in this world who don't realize we, women, have a life that does not revolve around them. I love being able to spend time with a guy I like, but spending every second with him is not in my game plan. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?
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However, when he insists on being a constant presence in your life, it can feel suffocating. True, quality time is essential, but quantity without meaning can drain the spark out of any budding relationship. When texts asking about your whereabouts become routine and he's seemingly mapped out all your free time for couple activities, it might be time to reassess the balance. Independence is sexy, and having a healthy space apart is a cornerstone of a mature partnership. Don't let his need to be with you eclipse your need for self-care and personal growth.
6. He Picks Fights with You
A guy who is constantly fighting with you is probably too needy. Men feel if they can make you feel inferior, you will become more clingy to them yourself. He wants to feel constantly connected to you, even that means arguing with you. Why spend your time arguing with someone, when there is somebody else out there who just wants to make sure you're happy?
7. His Gestures Are a Bit Too Much
When a guy does something romantic, he instantly scores major dating points. It's awesome when a guy can remember little details about you like your favorite foods, colors, music, etc. and then use that information to do something sweet for you, later on in your relationship. However, if you two have only been on a few dates and he's already buying you front row concert tickets, or ridiculously priced designer goods, he's taking it a bit too far. The gesture is amazing but if he's doing it so early in your relationship, it's kind of like he's trying to buy your love.
8. He Stalks Your Social Media
Clingy men are known to want to be apart of every aspect in your life. If he comments on all your posts, like every Instagram photo, and even requests that you change your Facebook status to "In A Relationship," he might a bit too needy for you. He needs constant validation throughout the relationship and it's not your job to give it to him.
9. He Questions Your Friends
First of all, sisters before misters! ALWAYS. A needy man will be quick to judge all your friends, even though they've been around long before he has. This is because he's hoping to have you all to himself! He's tired of sharing you with your friends and would rather you spend all your free time with him. You should never have to dump your friends for a guy - that just goes to prove how needy he is.
10. He'll Make You Feel Guilty
You should always feel free to hang out with your friends whenever you want. If he tries to guilt-trip you about it with the old "you don't even care about spending time with me" argument, he's way too needy. Girl time is girl time and he needs to respect rather than making you feel bad about leaving him for a night.
11. His Friends Are Nonexistent
It's sweet when a guy would rather stay in with you than go out with his friends. However, a stable man knows how to prioritize his time without having to drop all of his friends. If he's canceling every plan because he wants to hang out with you and just you, it's a bit needy. Let him know that you both have friends and you both need some time with them.
When a guy is on you like hot glue, it's hard to create any chase. If the situation isn't working out, tell the guy to peace out! Do you have any other tips to spot a needy guy?
This article was written in collaboration with editor Vanessa Salles.
Comments
Brittany: My thing on this topic is, its simple, girls do want someone who wants them back. Your going to get in fights over stupid things constantly, you are two different people. Thats the point, to find someone who is what you aren't and you to be what they aren't. No one wants to date or be with someone who is just like them. You dont want someone needy, but decide what you want, what you want them to do in certain things. Not everyone is the same, someone could want a constant call or "texter" to give them the assurance that he/she isn't doing anything you wouldn't like; also wanting to see you...isn't that a good thing? I dont want to be with someone who wants to be somewhere else but with me, but you do need to have independence. (your own life) so when he/she is busy and cant be with you, your not sitting on your couch whining about how you have nothing to do. Great post!
Jennifer: 4 out of 7 I guess is bad. Lol I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. He calls all the time, he picks fights over the dumbest things, he gives me ultimatums , and he already wants to move in with me. I love him to death but I think he might have anger problems too, he seems to get mad and over react over the slightest thing. Ughhhh too much on my mind -.-
Monique: OMG, my boyfriend has all of these issues. I'm done with him....sorry Boo
Aga: I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm dating a great man for a little over two years. He's the only man that seems to go out of his way for absolutely anything and everything. He's great with my 16-year-old son,. Unfortunately he only likes to do things that he approves of. He will not take me dancing or to the beach or find time to do things i desire. He's very needy and clingy me, spends a ton of money on everything but refuses to allow me to go out. When I want to girls night just to unwind he throws a fit like a child fights with me puts me in a miserable mood to the point where I don't even want to go anywhere after that. Then he kisses up to me to make up for it. I told him I need a little space considering we live together and I know longer have a life. His response to that is I have all day without him there's no reason why we can spend every evening and the weekends together. He gets extremely jealous when his friends talk to me at the bar or when my friends talk to me for more than 10 minutes without him included in the conversation. He's always throwing up the money he spends and how he is the only one that will ever love me the way he does. Did I mention he moved in after six months of dating because he refused to leave the house.? He is driving me crazy. I must have asked him to leave eight times in a year. He will not go! we are always fighting in front of my son. I know this is unhealthy my son always asked why is he picking fights and I tell him he's very needy and jealous and he needs to go. My son understands this is no way to treat a woman! If you just let me have a little time to myself on occasion and I'm sure we can work out all the other little kinks. But he smothers the hell out of me, I Cambree, I can't sleep, and I certainly cannot talk to anybody without him asking who's on the phone in the middle of my conversation. Or if I'm at a meeting he is constantly asking who are you talking to, what time you going to be done, why is that person there? Holy shit are you serious?! I'm in a freaking meeting how can anyone answer all of those questions in front of a potential buyer?! ugh thanks for reading. Lol
Austen: I'm ruining my current relationship because I'm all these things. I need to get the fuck over my emotions and control myself. Idk why I do this to her; we used to be so in love and now we need to be away and I just can't take it.
rapunzel: unfortunately i think its too late for me.. i have been with a needy guy for 3 years. sometimes i feel like his second mum.. bcos he is needy i find him annoying and there is no spark, but bcos it has been 3 years, i really dont no how to get out. i think i dont want to be in a relationship anymore. im quite put off by long term relationships too now.
Jennifer: 4 out of 7 is bad I guess? I love my boyfriend to death but after reading this , he is definitely clingy and needy. He calls all the times, he doesn't really have any other friends, he picks fights with me, he gives me ultimatums, always wants to be around me, he wants too move in together already ! ugh too much on my mind .
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