It's totally okay to be in the honeymoon phase and crazy for your new man, but make sure it's healthy and not a weird obsession... Becoming obsessed with your significant other can go wrong in dozens of ways from driving them away to just being plain unhealthy for you. Here are some of the ways people say I love my boyfriend that others look at as obsession.
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1. You Don't Talk about Anything else
Everyone talks about their relationships. However, when you don't talk about anything else, ever, it's one of the biggest signs you are obsessed with your boyfriend or girlfriend. If your friends constantly roll their eyes because every sentence out of your mouth begins with “My boyfriend and I...” or “We had so much fun...” then you may have a problem. When everything interesting you have to say involves your significant other, you're a little too involved. Take a look at your social media timelines as well; how many of your status updates involve your partner?
2. Your Thumbs Are on the Trigger
Are you constantly texting, Facebooking, or tweeting your significant other? If you can't go five minutes without sending a text, a selfie, a poke, or a SnapChat, you're going overboard. This is especially true if you get upset when your partner fails to answer within five seconds. Sending messages is okay in moderation, but you have to draw the line somewhere. There's a difference between wanting to talk to them and saying I love my boyfriend and being weird about it.
Frequently asked questions
It's totally okay to care about someone, but if you find yourself thinking about them 24/7 or feeling anxious when they're not around, it might be a sign to take a step back and check in with yourself. Balance is key!
Everyone's different, but if being 'obsessed' is making you feel uneasy or affecting your life outside the relationship, it might be time to explore why you feel that way. Love should add joy, not stress!
You might just really enjoy his company and the way he makes you feel! However, sometimes obsession can be a way of avoiding other feelings or issues. It's worth exploring what's driving those feelings.
Not at all! Healthy relationships are about mutual respect and care, not obsession. He can love and value you without constantly being fixated on you.
Love usually feels secure and comforting, whereas obsession might feel urgent and overwhelming. If you're constantly worried about losing him, it might lean more towards obsession. Take some time to reflect on your feelings.
3. Serious Separation Anxiety
Missing your partner is perfectly natural as well. If your boyfriend heads to band camp for a few weeks or your girlfriend goes on vacation with her family, of course you'll feel a little lonely. However, if you suffer serious separation anxiety for long and short separations, you need to check yourself. You might actually have sweaty palms, an accelerating heartbeat, and even exhibit the symptoms of a panic attack. That's too much, especially if all of this comes with a certainty that your partner is cheating with you or plans to break up with you, just because you're in two different places.
4. You Neglect Your Friends and Family
Obsessive behaviors often manifest outside of your relationship. For example, if you're neglecting your family and friends in favor of spending time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you've got a big problem! When your significant other takes up your entire life and you no longer have time for anyone else – and worse, when you no longer have a desire to spend time with anyone else – you're exhibiting symptoms of obsession and not cutely wanting to say I love my boyfriend by being with him too much. Everyone needs personal space!
5. There's No Privacy
Do you snoop? If you find yourself sneaking peeks at your boyfriend's phone or trying to read your girlfriend's diary, your behavior is unmistakably obsessive. This is especially true if you're doing it because you're paranoid or suspicious. Everyone deserves their privacy. Don't betray your partner's trust by snooping through his or her things, and respect him or her enough to respect these boundaries.
6. You Give up Your Independence
Do you define yourself by your relationship? If you willingly give up your independence because you want to spend every waking moment with your partner, there's a problem. When you can't do anything by yourself, or refuse to go out by yourself or with friends because your partner isn't coming along, take a long, hard look at yourself, your relationship, and your motivations.
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Being overly dependent on your significant other can lead to a loss of self-identity and personal interests. It's vital to maintain a balance between your couple time and individual growth. Cultivating your hobbies, spending time with friends, and pursuing your personal goals help maintain a healthy self-concept. If you find that you're forgoing personal activities just to be with him, it's time to reassess. A loving partnership should support your individuality, not hinder it. Remember, a strong relationship is made up of two individuals who complement each other, not two halves that can't stand alone.
7. You're Jealous of Everyone
You get jealous of random people who may or may not be looking at your partner, as well as people he or she has known forever. You always suspect your partner of cheating or worry that he will automatically return every come-on or flirtation; that's not I love my boyfriend that's just plain psycho... Where's the trust? Obsession often comes from insecurity, and there's no need to feel jealous of everyone who even glances at your boyfriend or girlfriend unless you feel extremely insecure.
You can be close to your partner; you can be affectionate, interested, and even occasionally clingy, because we all get in those moods – but “occasionally” is the keyword here, and you can't take it too far. There's a fine line between I love my boyfriend and obsession which isn't healthy for anyone involved; nor does it lead to a strong, long lasting relationship. Have you ever gotten obsessed with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Has someone you've dated been obsessed with you?
Comments
Delightfully : I had this pattern of obsession because I never met someone interested enough in a mutually fulfiling relationship. Now when I get obsessed I step back and evaluate if they are as invested in me. if not, I gradually and clearly scale back the relationship. I trust soon I will experience a mutual deep love and I won't have to resort to obsessing as a false substitute for intimacy. Best of success to all of you:-)
Hannah: What if you do these things because you don't trust him because he's messed up before & lies to you, all the time? I pretty much do everything that article says because I don't trust him but I know we have too much just to give up. I love him so much... Help 😔
Tubi: How to deal with it :(
Sophia: 3 out of 7. It's tricky to not let those you love take over your lives. Keep on keepin on.
Ine: Lead your own life, no man is worth this kind of behaviour. Pffff.... I am still glad to be single.
Jolie: I never knew i was so obsessed with my bf. We had a break cause of this. Slowly i am learning to let go and how to be a more independent me
susy: i know someone like that she wont admit though
Kuluwa: Am like that I showed too much care and love to my husband and his own is totally opposite, and we reach certain age now I don't know what do I can't workout in this marriage now and am not enjoying my staying with him, please I need an advice
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