If you want to know if you are dating a narcissist, it first helps to really understand what a narcissist is. Narcissism is far more than arrogance and vanity. It is actually a mental condition recognized by psychologists. People with narcissistic personality disorder are characterized as being self-obsessed, dangerously manipulative, charming, and showing a lack of empathy for others. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a perfect date - not!
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1. Charming and Confident
Unfortunately, narcissists can be very attractive. I bet if any girl were to name off characteristics of a man she was interested in dating, charm and confidence would rank high on the list. These are also two main traits of a narcissist, making it hard to avoid dating such people.
2. Large Group of Friends
Popularity is cool. But we have to wonder, are these really friends or are they little minions? Narcissists are interested in just any type of friend. What they really want are people who will look up to them and idolize them. Pay attention to how the one you are dating interacts with their friends. If the friends are constantly stroking his ego, you might be in for trouble.
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3. Lack of Boundaries
It is no secret that a narcissist doesn’t care for rules or limits. They see these things as challenges, not safety precautions. It is likely this behavior will affect relationships too. If you aren’t into someone who will push your limits then walk away now.
4. History of Bad Breakups
Ask your man about his past relationships. Why did he and his ex break up? What about the one before that? If you start to see a pattern of messy relationships that end with dramatic breakups, you might be dating a narcissist.
5. Control Issues
Narcissists like to control everything. I bet that kind of control is draining. They have a plan for everything and don’t deal well when things don’t go as they had hoped. Man, can you imagine raising a family with someone who has extreme control issues? Here’s a secret: babies don’t care about your plans. They have their own and they win.
6. Lack of Emotions
In general, narcissists lack emotion. They find them to be a sign of weakness. If you are an emotional person, a narcissist will not be able to relate to your feelings on any level and will find your behavior annoying and confusing. Also, because they lack emotions, don’t expect them to care much about how you feel.
7. OverPowers Conversations
Are you a mute? If you are, this might be a perfect set up for you because you may never get the chance to talk again. However, if you like to have an interactive two-way conversation then forget this guy. He likes to talk about himself too much to care about what you have to say.
These are just some traits of a narcissist. Don’t think you can change these characteristics about a person or that it will get better with time. I promise you it won’t. Forget this man’s charm and move on. There are far better guys to date than a narcissist.
Comments
alka: @Alyx I couldnt agree more! And ladies instead of complaining, just leave the damn relationship. No one is forcing you to date him, you have free will.
Krenx: I can relate to you EI ugh I wished I hadn't had 3 kids with him! It's so exhausting but I'm waiting for the right time to kick his ass to the curb, biggest mistake ever !!!!!!
peony: Exactly move on...
El: Just dumped him- emotionless - sulky if he doesn't get his way - unloving unless in the mood - only does a good turn because he's getting something - lies first even if the truth is a more viable option - pray he's gone for good- really do
Alyx: Again, JP, borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder are two WAY different things. People diagnosed with BPD can be narcissistic, but that has nothing to do with the disorder. My father is borderline, trust me I've dealt with this my whole life, they are no where near the same thing. Disorders shouldn't be clumped together like that. Especially ones that are very different. BPD and bipolar disorder are similar, but pbd and narcissistic personality disorder are two WAY different things. I work in a hospital with a very large mental health wing. I deal with these disorders every day, and personally with my father. It's stigmatising like this that spreads misconception.
Kate: After 2 years of putting up with his silent treatments, discarding and coming back. Telling me things I want to hear and then hurting me. I finally said I am done. I have gone no contact for 4 weeks and it was and still is hard but I am already starting to feel better about myself.
Kat: Run as fast and far as you can before he throws you into an abyss you can't get out of. I wasted so much time on him before I realized what he was. 😔
Arica: Wow that's all the traits this guy I used to have a crush on have 😐
Kailee: It took a long time to get over this one guy, a narcissist is really good at pulling a girl in and making her a part of his crazy, self centred, roller coaster ride that is his life. Bad memories creeping back...
Sara: That kinda sounds like a lot of guys! At least the ones I know.
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