Getting married is a wonderful thing. Being married is special. There are dozens of reasons to get married. But, there are also some very good reasons why not to. Simply wanting to is not good enough. Here are some of the wrong reasons to get married:
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1. Family Pressure
Top of the list of wrong reasons to get married is pressure from your family to finally settle down and begin the next chapter of your life. What parents and grandparents tend to forget is that times have changed significantly since their marriages and it is simply not a foregone conclusion that you have to marry your long-term partner anymore. The decision to get married should be one made by you and your partner alone; no external voices should be heard!
2. Settling
Do not agree to marry somebody just because you may feel like you are too old or too tired to feel like you deserve better. Many relationships go way over their use by date without a breakup happening. Before you commit to entering into the final chapter of your love life, consider the real reasons for your partnership. Are you madly in love or are you just settling?
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3. Fear of Loneliness
For some people, the most important thing in life is to make sure that you are never alone, whether it be through family, friends or lovers. Accepting somebody's proposal simply for the fact that it may solve your problem with regards to permanent companionship is not fair on your or your intended. You are denying both them and yourself a chance at marriage for the right reasons - true love.
4. Cultural Obligation
Getting married simply because of cultural obligation and thinking it is the traditional thing to do is never a good idea. Whether these traditions are to do with religion or just a wider societal norm, over all of this you need to listen to your heart. Only enter in to marriage when you are 100% sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with a person.
5. You Want Children
There seems to be a disconnect that stems from past family values that states you must be in a marriage in order to have children. Culturally, this is no longer true and millions of unmarried, committed couples have children; nothing about having a marriage license changes that. Alternatively, if you are single and have financial security, there is nothing to stop you raising a child alone. Marriage does not equal the magic pass for motherhood!
6. Trying to Patch up a Relationship
You would be surprised by the amount of couples that think all of their relationship troubles will magically be solved by getting married. We all know that in reality, marriage will do nothing but amplify all and any problems that you may be experiencing on a regular basis. It's not like you are pressing the reset button and starting a whole new life together. All of your issues will just be brought in to your marriage and tensions will be higher than ever because either one of you could start feeling trapped on top of everything else.
7. Legal Loopholes
Marriage can often be the route that people go down to appease a number of varying legal issues in theirs or their partner's life. Whether it's to be able to stay in the country or for more complicated financial situations, these marriages of convenience very rarely end well. At the end of the day, true love and 100% commitment and willingness on both sides is the only environment for a successful marriage.
Let’s open up the floor for discussion. Who knows of other wrong reasons to get married? Do you feel you got married for the wrong reason?
Comments
Desiree: I have observed lately that several women just want to get married just to live the experience of the party, the wedding dress, etc. that's also a terrible reason to get married.
Gauri: I kinda agree with what Sarah says .. Also, how many of us know what love is ? Fine , what true love is ? DEFINITELY NOT what is portrayed in media about love and true love ! We really suffer by what the media proclaims and shows love to us all! Of late, with all the focus on looking your best and this way and that way, I think I have begun to feel suffocated by what media says and rules our minds to do ..// getting back, true love is not the only element, but one of the elements to a successful marriage. I also feel, when the two people in question are mature, independent, and happy, not looking to "be completed" by someone, that's the most healthy kind of love! When the two people share the same beliefs, same values, same goals or have goals to strive for together, that's what keeps them connected too (mind you, after all the euphoria has faded away!) .. Acceptance of just the way the partner is,'is also a huge factor.. At any rate, as per me, it's the depth and polish of character that we acquire before marriage that helps us sail through pretty much everything and every aspect of marriage! My grandmothers (both paternal and maternal) say so!
Megan: "The three things a guy should want to change about his girl is her last name, address and her viewpoint on men."~Kid Cudi
Megan: Intelligent post. @Gauri Talwar
Helenna: Peer pressure can be one, too. For some instance, you tend to think that you should be married now just because your group of friends are. It's quite an immature reason to get married.
peony: Correct get married because you want and your other half wants to as well. Don't listen to anyone because at the end of it is your future ans that's that. Just saying.
sarah: Although i do agree marriage should not be for the wrong reasons suggesting "true love" as the only right reason seams unfair to me also a little poetic and naive, first of all who can actually define true love and if many couples got divorced after marriage out of love how come this is the most important aspect we should judge a marriage by? True love needs time and develops with intimacy and if your belief and self respect doesn't agree with living with someone before marriage does this mean you are not going to succeed in your marriage? If you were not lucky enough in love or not an emotional person to begin with does this mean you should spend your life alone childless virgin just because the "one way" described here doesn't suit you? I believe a successful marriage needs love but not only love , having similar goals in life and being in harmony mentally , physically and emotionally is more important, if love was the only aspect we judge with we will keep sacrificing all the incompatibilities all the inconvenience till we can't take it anymore and we fall out of love , this idea in my opinion is the true reason divorce rate is up to the roof now
KaReN: me and my fiance has been engaged for nearly 4 years now, and we were planning to do it this year but i got pregnant with our second now we have to wait another few years, there's always something getting in the way!!!!
Megan: How about the gold-diggers?
Akki: Oh. How ironical this post is. My boyfriend and I broke up on 9th of May because his family won't allow and thought that he should discontinue seeing each other. I still battle this heart breaking pain of seeing him daily. I still wish him to come back. I just wish him to realize before it's too late.
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