It’s horrible being in a relationship that has little chance of going the distance. Btu usually we don’t know a relationship is doomed to failure into we’re well into it which can make the realization doubly hard. Essentially, the sooner you realize it, the sooner you can begin making decisions about what to do. These are the most common types of relationships that have a propensity for failure, not success.
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1. When You Care More
One of the types of relationship that won’t work is when you care much more than your partner does. One of the cornerstones of a successful relationship is that both partners love and care equally for one another, giving each other the support that they need. If you are the only person who is loving and caring, then the relationship will become less and less rewarding for you over time.
2. An Idol/Fan Relationship
If you completely idolize your partner in a sort of distant, grandiose way, you could be in danger of entering in to territory where the effort and attention in the relationship starts to become lop-sided. You end up giving a lot more than you receive, both emotionally and physically.
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3. You Love an External Factor
Take a step back and look at your relationship from a brutally honest point of view. Are you more in love with their wealth than their personality? External factors such as income, superficial good looks, even more shallow things like ability to dance or musical prowess, can tempt a person in to thinking that they are more fond of their partner than they really are. If you stripped away all of these things, would you still love them the same? If not, then this is definitely a problem.
4. A Relationship of Convenience
Were you the only single girl left in your friendship group? Did you start a thing with the guy in the next office cubicle simply so you had somebody to bring to parties and introduce to everybody? This is never going to be a relationship that stands the test of time. In reality, a relationship of convenience can often prevent you from opening yourself up to finding a more authentic, for-real kind of love.
5. You Are in Love with the Potential
Sometimes, if you take a close look at your relationship, you might find that rather than loving your partner in the moment for what they are now, you actually are more in the love with the potential that you feel the two of you have. This begs the question that if you love this potential, why hasn’t it been realized yet?
6. You Are Always Trying to Change Them
Are you always trying to change the things about your partner that you don’t like? If you find yourself spending more time trying to change their ‘flaws’ than you do enjoying them for who they are, then perhaps you are not well matched to be in a long-term relationship.
7. You’re Trying to save Them
Let’s face it; a lot of people, perhaps including you at certain points, are damaged. There is nothing inherently wrong with having a bit of baggage to contend with, but if your relationship has turned in to more of a personal vanity project to save your partner from themselves, it has become less of a romance and more of a mission.
Knowing you have significantly invested in a relationship that has no future is heartbreaking but it is best to realize it and move on. No matter the pain, you are giving yourself an opportunity to find the love you deserve.
Have you experienced any of these types of relationship? Would you care to share?
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