I’m sure a lot of you would like to know how to get closure from a relationship, especially since so many people have experienced that horrible pain caused by a bad breakup that occurred when you least expect it. That's an unfortunate event that leaves some pretty nasty scars on your emotional well-being. Sometimes, love fades and there’s nothing you can do to change that. There’s no point in wondering obsessively about what happened, what you did wrong or what you could have done to prevent that, because most of the time it’s nobody’s fault, and these things just happen. Learn how to get closure from a relationship, so you’ll be able to move on and put the past behind you.
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. Give Yourself Time to Heal
The most important piece of advice I can give you on how to get closure from a relationship is to tell you to give yourself enough time to heal and recover. That horrible pain that you are feeling right now will go away, since time heals everything. Just keep that in mind and don’t beat yourself up if you still haven’t managed to get past your former relationship, even if you broke up with your partner quite some time ago.
2. Learn to Forgive
Another important step to take in order to get closure after a bad breakup is, of course, learning to forgive. Here, I’m talking about forgiving your partner for what he or she did and also about forgiving yourself for what you didn’t do. You have something to learn from everything you experience. If you indeed made a mistake this time, make sure that won’t happen again in the future and accept the fact that you are not perfect and neither is your former love. Forgiveness is the way to get over the pain, so you won’t become a prisoner of your past.
***
Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting or justifying the harm done, it's more about setting yourself free from the heavy emotions anchoring you to the past. Embrace the idea that everyone has flaws, and sometimes those imperfections lead to hurtful outcomes. Reflect on the situation; see it as a valuable lesson in disguise that has now made you stronger and wiser. It's important to internalize that holding onto resentment harms you more than the one who hurt you. Nurture a spirit of compassion—not just for them, but crucially, for yourself. This act of kindness towards your own soul paves the path for healing and growth.
Frequently asked questions
3. Have a Symbolic Ceremony
This is one of the most used therapeutic techniques when it comes to dealing with loss. It’s a very helpful technique that offers spectacular results. This process will allow you to say good-bye to the relationship that didn’t work out and you’ll be able to get some closure. You could gather some things that remind you of your former love and burn them, or you could simply donate them to charity. You’ll be able to move on and focus on your future instead of being stuck in the past.
4. Write a Letter
This is another very useful thing you could do if you realize that you’ve grieved for long enough and that now it’s the perfect time to make some changes in your life. Write a letter to your ex-partner, where you’ll detail all your feelings, what you wish them to know but never had the chance to actually tell them and when you feel like you’ve written all you had to say, simply burn it or shred it and let go of those words. This is a very good way to find closure emotionally.
5. The Empty Chair
This is another very simple but extremely efficient psycho-therapeutic technique which is often used with people who are dealing with the loss of a close person or with people who are going through a bad breakup. You are supposed to sit in front of an empty chair and imagine that in that specific chair sits the person who is no longer in your life. Then simply talk to that person and say the things you didn’t have the guts or the chance to say. You will feel more relieved and at peace with yourself and you’ll start moving in a new direction, away from that past that haunted you for too long.
6. Don’t Forget about Yourself!
Even if you have recently gone through a pretty painful breakup, don’t forget about yourself! Always remind yourself how wonderful you are and how lucky you are for simply being you. Do some of those things you love! Go to a spa and pamper yourself! Do things that you’ll enjoy, things that will help you feel good about yourself! Focus on your needs and fulfill them! Learn to love yourself more and focus on your future instead of obsessing over your past.
7. Apologize
If you are the one responsible for that breakup and you feel you still can’t move on, even if you’ve managed to forgive yourself for you mistakes, try to apologize, so you’ll get you ex-partner’s forgiveness as well. You will also help them get some closure and you’ll finally be able to leave your past behind, so it won’t haunt you anymore.
I know that sometimes getting over a breakup is easier said than done, but you should know that it’s not impossible to get closure if you try hard enough. How did you get past a relationship that caused you more pain than happiness? What other useful tips on how to get closure from a relationship could you give us? Please share your advice with us in the comments section!
Comments
Carolyn: I was married for over 25 years. Most of it was horrible. Emotional mental and a couple times of physical abuse. He left after he found out there was another person involved with me on my part. I know him leaving was best for me but I still hold guilt. He's still mean and won't communicate. I live day by day and believe for a brighter future.
Abeer: I had a really hard breakup almost month ago n i was smart enough n i did most of the things mentioned above ! I wrote a letter , i\'ve forgiven him although he was the responsible for our breakup , i focused on my self on creating my self n working on my future ! At the end life goes on , whether we choose to be happy or sad ! The techniques mentioned above are really hopeful ! Im gonna work on making all of them in order to get a closure n to move on ! Thanks alot
IzzyGizzy: I'm still in the process, I saw him today and I felt emotions for him but I think we needed to talk and to make closure together, we ended up good. Although our break-up happened almost 5 months ago, the fact he already moved on at first hurt me but now... I feel nothing but just cherishing these memories!
Bossy27: Painful break ups take time to heal...been thru a few myself...just go with the flow of your feelings! And in time you'll be stronger n happier for sure! You gotta heal first before u consider dating again otherwise those unresolved feelings will come up in your new relationships... Good luck :)
Vikki: Met new people. Replace the old relationship with a new one.
Aimee2016: helped my broken heart a lot!! Thanks
temne: Ive done all these. ..I recently just apologize to my ex since I was responsible for our breakup but still no closure yet...but it will get better as time goes on. ..I hope
Bella: Wow crazy I actually did all of this already and it did help me so much with my ex partner... Pretty good ;)
Stayseekate: I'd say going out with your girlfriends a lot it will help you not to over think about the break up its effective because that's what I've been doing since I just recently had a break up a few weeks ago. :)
Tiffy: @Tiffy, p
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge