I've been in a lesbian relationship for about 6 years now and I always wondered how lesbian relationships are different from straight relationships. I've been in one straight relationship, when I was trying to find myself and, truthfully, they are not that different. However, there are some things that are more understanding in a lesbian relationship. If you don't understand how two girls can be together and how lesbian relationships are different from your relationship, take a look below.
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. More Understanding of PMS
Do you know how most guys do not understand anything about Aunt Flow? Well, if you are in a lesbian relationship, there is a lot more understanding of PMS and of cramps. This was definitely one of the 'how lesbian relationships are different' moments for me. My girl is completely understanding when I start to get a little testy during that time of month.
***
That sense of empathy really helps in managing the whole ordeal. She knows when it's time for a hot water bottle, some extra chocolate, or even when to give me space. It's like she's got an intuitive understanding and doesn't make a big deal out of it. Sure, it doesn't make the discomfort disappear, but her support makes the rollercoaster ride of hormones bearable. Plus, double the menstrual products around the house is definitely a mutual benefit! It's just one of those unique perks that come with dating someone who truly gets it.
2. Fairer Fights
While in straight relationships, there are a lot of misunderstandings in fights. When you are with the same sex, the fights typically consist of more discussions and talking. My girlfriend and I fight a decent amount but all of the fights are typically just discussions of hurt feelings instead of huge blow-up fights.
***
In these conversations, we find a common understanding of where the other is coming from. There's a shared experience that often leads to quicker resolutions. Sure, our emotions can get the best of us, but at the end of the day, we're both speaking the same language of experience. It's about empathy and acknowledgment of feelings rather than just winning an argument. That's not to say we don't have our moments – we're only human, after all. But we circle back to a place of love and respect, a foundation that's strong in many lesbian relationships.
Frequently asked questions
Lesbian relationships often feel intense because there's a deep emotional and psychological connection. We can relate to each other's experiences on multiple levels, which heightens everything.
Jealousy can be a big issue in lesbian relationships, often because insecurities and past experiences come into play. Open communication is key to handling it.
She might get overly protective, start questioning you more, or show discomfort around certain people. It's important to talk about these feelings together.
Handling insecurity requires honest conversations and reassurance. Building trust and understanding each other's boundaries can make a huge difference.
Sometimes it's about fearing that your partner might be attracted to men or comparing yourself to men in your partner’s life. Being open about these feelings helps a lot.
3. Lots of Communication
I swear, nobody communicates more than in a lesbian relationship. We talk about everything and anything that is on our minds. So I always know what my girl is thinking about and she knows what I am thinking about. I'm not saying you don't have this type of communication in a hetero relationship at all, but do you understand a lot of the actions that your man does? In a relationship like this, you get it.
4. Jealousy
There is typically a lot of jealousy in a lesbian relationship – but again, it depends on the relationship and the people that you are with. The jealousy is different though – if a girl looks better than her girlfriend, it could be some resentment or even some jealousy over the fact that she looks really good. Girls have a natural competitive side to them, so that can come out negatively in this type of relationship. Then again, a girl might be proud of her stunner and feel jealous because so many people are checking her out. It all depends!
***
Jealousy is a common emotion in any type of relationship, but it can be especially heightened in lesbian relationships. This is because of the natural competitive nature of women, the fear of being replaced, and the fact that women can be attracted to the same sex.
Jealousy can manifest itself in different ways. It could be a feeling of resentment or envy if one partner is more attractive than the other. It could also be a feeling of pride that so many people are looking at her partner, mixed with a hint of jealousy.
In order to deal with jealousy in a lesbian relationship, it is important to communicate with your partner. Talk about your insecurities and why you feel jealous. If you are feeling jealous of another woman, talk about it. You may be surprised to find out that your partner is not interested in that person at all.
It is also important to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself why you are feeling jealous and if it is really something to worry about. If you are feeling jealous because of something unrelated to your relationship, it is important to address that issue and find ways to cope with it.
5. Insecurities
This point goes hand-in-hand with the jealousy one, as there can be some insecurities over the fact that your girlfriend might look better than you or might have better clothes. The moral to the story? Don't be insecure in your relationship. Your girlfriend loves you for who you are!
***
Insecurities can emerge from various facets of a relationship; maybe it's about your career achievements or even trivial matters like who's the better cook. Remember, these feelings can fester and affect the happiness of your relationship. It's important to communicate openly and support each other's self-esteem. Affirmations and reassurances can go a long way. Cherish the unique qualities each of you brings to the table, and understand that love thrives on individuality as much as collective harmony.
6. Family Need
As I said, I've been in my relationship for about 6 years and we both have a family need that is so great. I get that she wants to spend time with her family and she understands that I want to spend time with mine. There is no 'oh, you have lunch with your mom 3 days a week?' in this type of relationship!
***
We both grasp the importance of that deep-rooted connection, so we craft a balance that honors our backgrounds and traditions. It's about weaving the fabric of our families into the tapestry of our relationship—finding those special occasions to create shared memories while still cherishing our individual heritages. Whether it's celebrating holidays, special family events, or simply being there for the mundane moments, we make it work, because family isn't just an obligation, it's a joyful grounding force in our lives.
7. Switching of Roles
Finally, in a lesbian relationship, you can switch roles a lot! My girlfriend typically cooks and does a lot of the housework, but that doesn't mean that I couldn't do that either. There is no one specific role in this type of relationship, which is really nice!
So, if you've been dying to know exactly how a lesbian relationship is different, here is my take! So, what other ways are gay relationships different? Share below!
Comments
JPAULY: I'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend and it's hard at times. But we talk everyday, love each other very much and trust each other. Honestly, if you work hard in the relationship and you do really love each other, it will work out for the best! I love my girlfriend :)
Moshwithmegirls: Communication depends on the person. Just because there is two girls doesn't mean both want/like to communicate.
Donny: I don't think there is anything wrong with being a lesbian I thinks it great that you really care about someone
Tanae: I agree I'm about to be two years and it has been awesome
Magallanes: there's no wrong being in a same sex relationship....The importance in relationship is Your love, understanding and respect...
Clara: I've never been in a relationship with any girl, I've never liked one- either. But lately I've been thinking, it sounds like something I wouldn't mind trying someday, due to all the perks it has to it. What could this mean? Could I possibly be bisexual?
Susan: I love being in a same sex relationship. My girlfriend really understands when I get all annoying at that time of month, and I do her. It's annoying that she lives across the country and I only see her during the summer for a few weeks.
Magallanes: Im in a 1yr.& 6m same sex relationship too....honestly im a les. And i agree on this...
Cathia: Hiya!!! Ohh i love lesbian a lot
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge