It’s difficult to change your personality once you are far into your life, even if this need for change is intrinsic and comes from within. Jealousy is one of those ugly personality traits that all of us would do better without but is also very tricky to deal with without blowing up emotionally. When it comes to relationships, it can lead to numerous fights and misunderstandings for no good reason. Therefore, it is something that must be contained so here are a few tips to tone down your jealousy!
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1. Be Rational and Realize That Jealousy is Unnecessary
Unless you have a good reason to suspect something, you must push away the jealousy and look at the situation from a rational perspective. Is being jealous and showing it really the right thing to do here? Do you have a good reason for it? If the answer to both of those questions is no, take a deep breath and push the jealousy away!
2. Develop a More Optimistic View of People
Furthermore, to prevent feeling jealous from the start, begin to work on developing a more optimistic view of people. Instead of pointing out their flaws and judging them for the mistakes they might have made in the past, take notice of their bright characteristics and let that be the focus!
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3. Trust Your Partner
If your partner has never given you a reason to worry and has never cheated physically or emotionally in the past, then you should have the confidence in yourself and your partner to believe that nothing bad is going to happen. There is no point in worrying about something that has a very little chance of happening.
4. Build Your Own Self Confidence
More often then not, jealousy stems from lack of confidence and self worth. Two things that most of us can work on. Therefore, instead of comparing yourself to others and condemning yourself for your failures and unsatisfactory appearance, begin working with what you have. Start loving yourself and be proud of what you’ve accomplished thus far.
5. Avoid Thinking Too Much and Building up Your Paranoia
The more you think about the worst case scenario, the more you will drive yourself insane and build up your paranoia. Trust me, sometimes you can scare yourself into things by distorting reality and convincing yourself of something that isn’t even there. Try to relax, hide away the scary thoughts and get busy with something more productive.
6. Put Faith into Your Relationship
Chances are if you have been with your partner for an extended period of time, you’ve already built a meaningful relationship filled with a strong emotional bond. And if you have faith in your relationship, you should have enough faith that nothing will break your relationship apart. Yes, relationships are not guaranteed to last forever but remember we are trying to be optimistic!
7. Give Your Partner Freedom for a Healthy Relationship
Every healthy relationship should consist of two individuals who are bound to one another but yet still have enough freedom to exist as an individual. Therefore, there is no reason that you should be keeping your partner away from great opportunities, from meeting new people or travelling to places they have never been to before. Give each other room to grow as people while still being together.
8. Build Communication
A lot of times lack of trust comes from lack of communication. If you're both up front and honest about things and are able to talk to each other about anything, it'll be a lot easier to not be jealous. Keep in mind though, he's a guy! He's not going to give every tiny detail about anything, but, at least being open will be a start towards building a better bond.
9. Reassess Your Relationship
Does the jealousy come from past experiences with him or with someone else? We tend to get jealous if we've been cheated on in the past, but if it wasn't him who cheated then you need to trust and give him the benefit of the doubt. If it was him who cheated and you can't get over it, should y'all really be together still?
10. Go out Yourself
If your jealousy stems from him going out but you always staying home, grab the girls and hit the town! There's no reason you two have to be together 24/7 and it's extremely healthy to have lives outside of each other. Maybe on his night out with the guys you go out with your girls for a pedicure. Or even go by yourself. But you can't sit home stewing about your jealousy when you're capable of going out just like he is.
How have you been working on containing your jealousy? And has it worked? Share your story with us in the comments!
Comments
Kelsie: When this boy and I first started talking he was messaging tons of girls and flirting with them. I got jealous but did nothing about it. He asked me out and later found out he was cheating on me.
Manni: And now we are rekindling kind of. So with his past being taken into consideration but is now back, he still hasn't said he wants a r/ship. I just don't know how to interpret it. Trying not to be jealous and insecure.
Kelsie: I suffer from anxiety and depression so it's already hard on me. When I found out I literally became the crazy girlfriend. How do I gain his trust back? How do I not get so jealous?
Krysten: How do I deal with jealousy when the person and I do not have a relationship
Teyana: Thank you so much for this😊❤️
Maritza: This is one of those topics that is very hard to understand and to put into action. It's so easy to be a joules freak even when they do nothing. I'm now struggling with his past and he hasn't even giving me a reason to doubt him.
Keara: Remember that you guys are possibly building a relationship for the future. Most men hate it when women are jealous... Makes them think you are insecure 😩
Manni: He and I have a karmic relationship. We are just bound to a magnetic pull. After we broke up he had various encounters. And so I felt I was cheated on somehow.one of those people was his ex which is the mother of their kids. Can't help but feel insecure.
Faithlyy: We also need to put trust into our partners that they will do the right thing if they are attached though, am I right? 🤔🤔
Nancy: It's not selfish. On the contrary-it's the most emotionally healthy thing you can do for yourself.
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