What to do when You and a Friend Have the Same Crush ...

The first answer to the question of what to do when you and your friend have the same crush is not to panic. Don’t freak out and go into a spiral! Once the joint crush has been discovered, take a step back and assess the situation. The most important thing to consider here is if the guy has shown any romantic interest in either of you. If he has, then it’s really the done thing to allow chemistry to lead the way. A good friend would step aside if she could see that her crush won’t go anywhere while her friend’s might!

If you start crushing on a guy that your BFF is seeing, don’t immediately take action and potentially blow up your entire friendship. It’s not uncommon for people to discover a new crush every other week. This could just be a passing phase that has been fostered due to the intimate circumstances between you and your friend. Give it at least a couple of weeks and you might find your feelings naturally fading.

How often have you ever seen a situation where a girl chooses a guy over her friends really work out? That’s right, hardly ever! Let’s be real. How likely is it that this one guy is your true love, especially when it’s going to cost a valuable friendship to pursue? Hold on to your friend and I guarantee more guys will come just around the corner. Next time, not the same guy!

It’s important to try to navigate this situation as maturely and sensibly as possible, and this means staying out of any childish nonsense, even if your friend is showing that side of herself. In a month or two this will all have blown over, and you want to make sure that you come out of it with nothing to be ashamed of in terms of your behaviour.

If it just so happens that you start to take things further with this shared crush, it is absolutely vital that you don’t lie to your friend about it. Her feelings may well be hurt by the fact that you have ‘won’ the crush battle, but she will be even more upset if she finds out you did it behind her back.

Situations like this don’t come along every day, and it’s important to learn from the mistakes that you might make toward the guy and toward your friend, so that you can make sure history doesn’t repeat itself in the future.

If things don’t go well for you, in terms of taking the crush further or patching things up with your friend, don’t get in to the headspace where you think there is something wrong with you. When it comes to romantic feelings, its something we absolutely cannot control, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for your heart doing something that your mind couldn’t override.