There are many bad situations that could put our marriages or relationships at risk. Cheating is, of course, one of them and, although some people forgive cheating and choose to try hard for their chance to have a “happily ever after” for all the right reasons, others do it for all the wrong ones. Now, I’m not here to judge which ones are wrong and which ones are right, so I’m going to give you a list of 8 situations in which people forgive cheating and you know you can always correct me and add some of your own experiences and opinions.
1. Fear of the Unknown
For some, the fear of facing the world outside the comfy relationship is much greater than the pain caused by cheating. They have been with their partner for years and stepping out on the dating market again feels like the most difficult thing in the world. I know exactly how this works and, believe me, it can happen to everyone of us. Knowing that you won’t see the familiar face and/or hear the familiar voice when you wake up the next morning is kind of scary. Especially if you’ve been with that person for so long that you don’t even remember what your life used to be like before you met him/her.
2. Children and/ or Traditions
But what happens if there are other people involved, too? Like kids, for example? I’m sure you know a lot of people who chose to deal with cheating by having separate bedrooms simply because they figured out divorce would put a lot of stress on their kids. Traditions are not to be taken lightly either. It may sound irrational or even funny to some, but, when it comes to divorces, not all countries are as liberal as you may think. Moreover, in some countries, being divorced means nobody will want to marry you again.
3. Financial Codependence
I’ve recently heard one woman say, “I’ll rather cry in the back seat of my Benz, wearing a fur coat than next to the stove wearing an old blouse.” Well, I’m not trying to suggest ”sponsorship” is the only reason why men or women decide to forgive their cheating spouses, but, in some cases, this simple math does affect people’s decisions and actions. Some even use their partner’s financial problems as a “get-out-of-jail-free” card and continue to cheat thinking that their partner must tolerate that.
4. Self-blame/ Lack of Confidence
How many times have you heard the “I deserved it” line? The one who cheated should feel guilty but, in this case, it’s the other way around. It has nothing to do with gender because I’ve seen both men and women falling into this trap of self blame and trying to find good explanations for their partner’s mistakes. Now, don’t get me wrong, trying to work things out can have a happy ending, the only problem is that you mustn’t take the blame for mistakes that are not your own. Nobody deserves to be cheated on and the cheater is the one who must change and prove his love.
5. Unconditional Love
Some people love their partners so much that they would rather share them with other people than spend their lives without them. Their partners are their soul mates and, while others might get lucky to get a piece of their bodies, the soul belongs to only one person. It’s a nice ideal that can work in practice but only if both partners agree on those terms and can draw a straight line between emotions and physical attraction.
6. Desire to Work Things out
If partners love each other and have enough patience and trust, they might choose to work things out. This is, in my opinion, the best of all reasons and maybe the only one I would opt for. If you can forgive and if he/she can promise not to do it again, the cheating episode can become one of those bad, long-forgotten memories and there might be a positive outcome after all.
7. Unwillingness to Face the Facts
Realizing that your partner has cheated on you would mean losing the war so you keep closing your eyes and refusing to face the facts. It’s like being a captain of a sinking ship – you keep your head high and agree not to leave your ship regardless of the situation. Leaving the vessel means being a coward so you try to maintain a proud look hoping the boats passing by won’t notice that you’re having a serious malfunction.
8. Business Relationship
They often say you shouldn’t mix business with pleasure because there might be consequences. When spouses run a business together, the realization that your entire family depends on your ability to forgive and make peace with your spouse might be a hard one. You can sleep in separate beds or act like it didn’t happen but the show must go on because a divorce or break-up means the downfall of your career and an ending of the only thing that puts the food on your table.
What do you think – should people forgive cheating and, if yes, under what circumstances? Feel free to add other situations in which people forgive cheating. Something you had a chance to witness or hear about, for example.
Top Photo Credit: MrB-MMX