Oh horror of horrors. He’s done it. Yes he really has. Your palms are sweating and your feet are itching and all for the sake of a simple question … “ will you go on a date with me?” The answer isn’t so simple. Instead of floundering around here are some funny and not so funny responses you might care to use to extricate yourself from the unwanted attention, if you can’t simply say no, thank you.
1 No Chemistry
“I’m sorry, I really like you and I like spending time with you, but not in that way. Let’s stay friends, okay?”
Frequently asked questions
2 Friend Zone
“Our friendship is too important to me and I don’t want to risk ruining it over a stupid date.”
3 Wrong Team
“Umm, yeah, about that, I’ve been meaning to tell you, I can’t go out on a date with you because I’ve already got one, with Charlotte!”
4 Who?
“Oh, hi! Yeah, I’m sorry, have we met before? At that wedding five years ago? Yep, that’s not gonna be enough!”
5 Colleagues
“No thanks buddy. We work together every single day and it will become unbearable if things go badly!”
6 Jerk
“You want to go out with now? What about all those years that you were a complete jerk to me and my friends? No thanks, pass.”
7 Age Difference
“Oh, thank you so much, but I’m going to have to say no. I’ve got a couple of my mom’s friend that might be interested though?”
8 Player
“No way, Jose. How can you ask me out on a date when I know for a fact that you took out Alice two days ago, Helen four days ago, and my own sister last week!?”
9 Too Close
“Nuh uh, not going to happen. You’re my brother’s best friend and it won’t end well for either of us!”
10 Taken
“Ah, this is kind of awkward, but I’m already taken. Sorry, try again next year!”
11 Priorities
“You sound like a great guy, but dating is just not on my list of priorities right now.”
12 Holding out
“Oh thanks, but no thanks. I’m holding out for George Clooney. He’s going to call any day now.”
13 Life’s Too Short
“Sorry man, life’s too short to do things that you don’t want to do, and I really, really don’t want to date you!”
14 Joking
“Ha ha! That’s a good one dude! Oh, wait? You were being serious?”
15 Brotherly Love
“Um, actually, I’d rather be taken out by your brother. Can you be a good pal and set that up?”
16 Washing My Hair
“Oh no sorry I can’t tonight, I’m washing my hair. And the day after. And the day after that.”
17 Netflix
“Are you serious? Go on a date? How can I possibly go on a date when I have three more seasons of my show to binge!?”
18 Weather Warning
“I couldn’t possibly go out tonight. The weather man said there was a 30% chance of rain and I cannot take that risk.”
19 Pet Love
“I have to take care of my cat tonight. I know I don’t actually have a cat but sometimes one walks through my yard!”
20 Jigsaw
“Just today I’ve discovered a love for jigsaw puzzles and I’ve got a 5000 piece beauty that cannot wait.”
21 The Dark Side
“A disturbance in the force, I feel. Go on a date with you tomorrow night, I cannot.”
22 Fridge Dedication
“Sorry, no can do. I’ve got some pretty serious plans with my refrigerator and all of the out of date products I have to throw away.”
23 Hangover
“I’m sorry but if I go out with you I’ll have to drink to forget it, and nobody wants a hangover that big.”
24 Plants
“I’ve got to spend the evening watering all my plants. Sure, I only have cacti but they need love too!”
25 TV Date
“Sorry, I’ve already got a hot date planned. His name is McDreamy and he lives in the television.”
