Have you ever asked yourself am I being verbally abused? When it comes to abuse, there are certain forms of the horrible experience that are more immediately noticeable and recognisable than others. If you or somebody that you know is being physically abused, then the signs and results of this horrendous treatment are often there for all to see, with only a small amount of deduction needed to understand what is happening. When it comes to verbal abuse, however, the signs might not always be so crystal clear. Although you might like to think that you would be able to recognise such abuse, especially if it is happening to you, it is sometimes much more difficult to address than you think. Take a look through these questions as you ask yourself am I being verbally abused?
1. Does Your Partner Mostly Communicate through Yelling?
If he cannot keep it together long enough to converse at a regular volume and in a calm manner, then it means that he feels he has to assert his control over you by simply shouting you down. This isn’t normal and is one way to figure out the answer to the question am I being verbally abused?
2. Do You Have Healthy Self-Esteem?
Do you compare yourself favourably to others in your life? Or does your mind tell you that you are the least successful and least likable of all your friends and family? This is probably because you have been conditioned to believe so.
3. Is There a Lot of Name Calling?
Pet names like "babe" and "honey" are cute and loving, but if your partner tends to grab for other, more hurtful and damaging words whenever they are talking to you, then that is a classic sign of verbal abuse.
4. Do You They Mock You?
You might see their constant mocking as the result of a sarcastic personality, but what they are actually doing is bashing at your confidence bit by bit with their cruel and unnecessary words.
5. Are They Making Threats?
We all say things that we don’t mean from time to time, but if your partner is constantly making threats, whether physical or more psychological, that is a clear case of persistent verbal abuse.
6. Do They Always Blame You?
Are you always the person that gets the blame when something negative happens in the relationship? Your partner never wants to accept responsibility and adds further blame and pressure on your shoulders to make you feel bad.
7. Are You Afraid to Share Your Feelings?
If you live your life in silence because you are scared to voice your true feelings and opinions to your partner, then you are definitely living in a world of verbal abuse. Being silenced in fear of what kind of reaction you might get is a classic sign.
8. Is Nothing You do Ever Good Enough?
If nothing you do for him ever seems to be good enough, then it probably means that he is deliberately withholding praise and kind words in order to keep you on edge and keep you trying to impress him and win his affection. He doesn’t deserve it.
9. Does He Publicly Humiliate You?
Public humiliation is a tactic that verbal abusers use to keep you subservient to them. If you feel too humiliated or embarrassed to venture out into the wider world, then you will be stuck with your abusive partner forever, and that is exactly their intention.
10. Do You Feel Valued?
This is a big question. Are you feeling valued in your relationship? Is the love and affection being shared in an equal manner? Sometimes it takes stepping out of the bubble and looking in from the outside to realise that you don’t feel valued, but it has been going on for so long that it has become a normal feeling. You don’t deserve to feel this way.
If you answered yes to two or three of these questions, take a good look at your relationship. Make the decision to address the issue and you can still have a relationship worth the effort.
If you answered yes to five or more of these questions – in a word – leave him. You won’t change him. You deserve far better. If you make the decision to try and change him there’s nothing but a world of pain ahead.