All Women's Talk

An Open Letter to the Gay Man I Love ...

By Angel

Bali — 1 week before my birthday

Gaspard, I wish to write to you today to let you know that I love you.

I know you are gay and will never make love to me but our platonic relationship was true romance to me.

I should let you go out of my heart but not out of my mind, because this is where you reside.

Even though, you are far from me, I remember every little moment spent with you, like the most perfect couple ever.

Swimming together at Karma and Nyang Nyang beaches, the two hottest Bali beaches.

Strolling in Canggu in your company from Peleton Superstore to Pablo’s, La Brisa, Kudeta and the Nasi Campur place.

Escaping the police on our way to Uluwatu — and being proud of us for succeeding at hiding from them.

Eating beautiful breakfast or dinner with you, like best friends.

Enjoying our ice-cream in the afternoon by the pool or later eating tropical fruits you brought me.

Making and listening to music together and finding ideas.

Traveling to Ubud visiting abandoned cats and cuddling them.

Sipping coffee, our favorite activity, maybe 5 – 7 times a day.

Talking about our inner-self, experiences, expectations and past romances.

« Smoking » this weird Swedish tobacco that we place under the teeth.

Playing sport, doing yoga and fitness together, and playing volleyball on the beach.

Peeing together behind the bush somewhere in Uluwatu.

Jumping half-naked into the pool at night and later swimming in the Indian ocean, a bit tipsy.

Playing the game of love and desire, between good friends.

Cuddling forever — it seemed forever to me. Being in your arms was sincere love to me.

I’m writing all this to you because I love you but I must let you go.

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