To the Women We Hurt ...

Here's an open letter to women on behalf of men everywhere:

I speak for all men that we can be selfish, self-centered, inconsiderate, impossible, non-communicative, and the list goes on. What I, for all men, want to say is we're sorry.

The times you come to us talking your day, we only listen to solve a problem. We wonder why you didn’t handle it. We often wonder why you couldn't tell your girlfriends. Well, I now understand why you ladies do come to us to vent your day. Although your girlfriends are capable of handling what we men call "girl talk", we simply can't. We are not geared for that. But what I can say, is now I see you come to us because since we love you, we love "all" of you, meaning the emotions and thoughts that go on through your day. We apologize for not having the patience and endurance to hear you out as you hear us out. We can only try to do better, but please know that we can only handle so much "girl talk" before we need the "guy talks".

The times you ask us how you look, this is a major apology we need to make. In my previous article I spoke of how you ladies have the “daddy’s princess” mindset. We don’t acknowledge your beauty as often as we should nor do we express it to our buddies. We know you're fine, our buddies know you're fine (and often question why you're with us), but for you to hear us say you're beautiful every day, I now realize that you ladies need that. We really don’t express ourselves unless we are in our feelings (mainly angry), but that is no excuse. We will strive to acknowledge your beauty every chance that we get. We apologize for not openly and privately expressing how you, our beautiful queens, look in the eyes of your mate, your king.

During the rough times, you ladies push us away. What I recently discovered was a call to prove your love. To come chase you, showing how much you really mean to us. We, as men, figure those kinds of actions are games. And we men don’t play that type of game. What we do is come and get what we want. If we have to chase, we leave the hunting grounds. But in the essence of a difficult situation like separation, breakups, and divorce, we see it as a cry for “how much do you really love me." If we really love and honor you as we say, we will chase you to the ends of the Earth. You really don’t want us to go, but you want us to prove the deep desire we spoke of to be produced in actions. We apologize for not being the “King of the Jungle” as we claim to be.

Lastly, for all the games we played. Yes, both men and women cheat, but the real question is why. Why do men cheat? At this junction of the topic, I can only speak for myself. The reason why I used to cheat on women was that I was afraid of committing to a serious relationship. What I really wanted from women was to be in-between the sheets with a woman until I could found a better one. For me, being afraid of a serious relationship is no excuse whatsoever to be a “dog”, but that was what was going on with me at the time of my youth. Now I desire and have that committed relationship that I was once so afraid of. The hard work and dedication in the relationship are what builds me and my mate closer. Yes, it’s rough, but so is life. So, ladies, I apologize for not being ready to commit to what I preached. For other men, you've got to ask them

For the women we men have hurt. We ask for forgiveness for our ignorance. We hope you will find it in your beautiful hearts to forgive and to be able to at least look at us. We are humans like you who make mistakes and don’t really know what we have until we lose it. Forgive us, and know that we are still learning about women.