What is enough sex? Is there even a measurement? Essentially, enough sex is an individual need and preference. There is no right number of times, no rules for how often except those personal to your wants and needs. Where it becomes generic, however, is in the ways how not having enough sex manifests itself and makes itself known. And these manifestations are not all obvious. Are you having enough sex? Here’s some food for thought:
1. Do You Pick Fights with Your Partner Because Part of You Enjoys It?
People pick fights with their partners for hundreds of reasons. That is not the issue here. You need to examine yourself introspectively and ask yourself if you started your last fight because part of you enjoys it. If you honestly looked inwards and decided that maybe you do enjoy (at least a little bit) starting an argument with your partner, the most common excuse women give is that they “like drama.” That may be true for a small portion of women, but it could be because you are not getting enough sex. Starting arguments with your partner is very personal, intense, emotional, and a little exciting (a little like something else?). Some women substitute good sex with good arguments.
2. Are You Quick to Anger?
If you are quick to anger, then it may be because you are not having enough sex, and the worst part is…men are to blame! Well, at least their primary hormone testosterone is to blame. Women have testosterone too. It acts as a counterbalance to all the estrogen in your system. Even though as a woman you only have a tiny amount of testosterone compared to a man, it still drives you toward sex in a very powerful way. How does this, plus a lack of sex, equal one angry lady?
The answer and the problem are that testosterone is a tricky hormone. It makes you want to Fight or F**k, and sometimes if you cannot get sexual relief, be it on your own or with a partner, you may be quicker to get angry than you otherwise would be. The testosterone in your system makes you want to have sex, and when you don’t get it, other emotions are triggered.
3. Do You Ever Have Overwhelming Urges That Almost Cause You to Cheat?
If you are not having enough sex, you may feel slightly hornier than usual. If you are not getting enough sex, the idea of cheating may cross your mind. You are not a wild animal and so should be able to restrain yourself, even if you are highly aroused, but if it is crossing your mind more than usual, then you may be having too little sex.
4. What if You Have Never Had an Orgasm?
This is a prominent and poignant question, and as a woman, you may be pleased to know that you are not alone. Some women have never had orgasms in their entire life and never will, and the way sex is portrayed in the media can make you feel quite uncomfortable or inadequate. But a lack of orgasm doesn’t necessarily imply not enough sex (although the more sex you have, the better chances you have of finally achieving the Big O). If you have never had an orgasm, you can still have sex and masturbate until your horny feelings go away. If you have not masturbated or had sex in over six months, you may need to seek professional advice.
5. A Healthy Period of Sexual Disinterest is around 6-months
Not interested in sex at all? Don’t even care about masturbation anymore? Getting turned on but not acting on it? Don’t worry yourself too much. Many people go through periods of disinterest in sex and it can last around six months. If you have not been interested in sex for a lot longer than six months, you may have deeper issues that need resolving.
6. Have You Lost Interest in Sex since Starting a New Medication?
People react to different medications in different ways. Sometimes a woman may lose her sex drive because of medication, and sometimes a woman’s sex drive is dulled to the point where she is not bothered either way about sex or masturbation. This can happen with many medications, including the pill, and it is just because your body is reacting to it in your body’s own way. If you feel it is becoming a big issue, then ask if you can change your medication.
7. Feeling Increased Anxiety, Stress, Depression, or Fear?
These are emotions that can be caused by a lot of things, but one of the causes is a lack of sex and/or a lack of masturbation. Our primal urges are deeply repressed but still very strong. They can cause other primal urges to surface if they are repressed for too long. Anxiety, stress, and fear are very primal feelings that may be caused by too little sex. Depression is the counterpoint to your primal feelings where your basic instincts for self-preservation become dulled. Sex, masturbation, or a combination of both may help pull you away from these feeling of anxiety, stress, depression, or fear.
This is such a tricky area because it is a very individual and personal issue. Only you can decide for yourself. Are you having enough sex?