11 Backhanded Compliments You Should Avoid when Flirting ...

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Backhanded compliments are the worst. In every day situations, they're terribly passive aggressive, which is bad enough to deal with. When you're flirting, however, backhanded compliments are a little insulting, not to mention manipulative. They remind me of that whole β€œalpha male” tactic of acting like a jerk to make a girl yearn for your approval – but girls are guilty of giving these types of compliments, too. Don't manipulate someone into liking you or wanting to spend time with you by halfway putting them down. Try to avoid these mistakes, and focus on creating an authentic relationship instead.

1. It's so Cute That You do That

β€œIt's so cute when you wear skinny jeans.” β€œIt's so cute when you try to grow a mustache.” β€œIt's so cute when you order an appletini.” Some backhanded compliments sound kind of like regular compliments, but at their heart they're a little demeaning. Just as a guy shouldn't tell a girl that it's so cute when she changes her own tire, a girl shouldn't tell a guy that he's cute when he tries to dress like a hipster – or when he does anything else that he enjoys doing, really. Unless you really mean it's cute, of course; it's all about context and inflection.

You're so Different from My Type

Comments:

Meisha Jackson
#8!! I hear that all the time! And when people say it to me, I ask them "is it impossible for a black girl to be pretty? You think I'm some rare breed?" Lol I hate that with a passion
Kabob
Amen to #8 haha. Not that this has happened to me... But it's just wrong. I always feel a little funny when people comment on my looks related to my ethnicity
Cassieculbreth
#5 happens to me all the time. Even my friends with boyfriends say this and everyone really 😠
Tia1217
#8 has happened to me more times than I'd like to even think about and seriously it is so rude like for real!!! You're beautiful for a black girl... Omg
Lppurplegirl11
Number 8 is outrageous. This has happened multiple times to a girl who was in my freshman English class. For some reason people insisted on telling her and her sister that they were "pretty for black girls." I wasn't even there to witness it and it made me angry 😡
Aisha1995
#8 is so ruude ! For some reason, some people think it's a compliment...
Shannon
I've never been told # 8 but then if I did I'd give him the finger then walk away .
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