By Natalie • 27 Comments
Many people from every walk of life suffer from depression. It’s not something you just decide to snap out of one day. It can take a range in forms of treatment, from just having someone to talk to, to needing medication. It can sometimes be tough dating someone with depression, and can put a strain on your relationship, so here are a few pointers on how to be the partner that your girlfriend or boyfriend needs.
At first, this may seem difficult. But when your partner is saying things like they don’t want to be here etc, they do not mean it; they just feel as though they need to escape from the situation. You also can’t take it personally when they don’t want to talk or aren’t responding in the way you would like. You need to know that it isn’t to do with you; it is a problem that they have within themselves, not within the relationship. You just need to be there to support your partner.
Try not to dwell on the negative aspects of life and instead focus on positive things, such as exercise. Exercise releases endorphins, which trigger a positive feeling throughout the body. So that you aren’t directly telling your partner to be positive, you can indirectly encourage them to do it themselves and therefore they don’t feel pressured by you. Why not try doing exercise as a couple? You will associate each other with this positive feeling and it gives you time to bond.
Eating and drinking healthily really boosts your mood. You know when you have had a massive takeaway, at the beginning it is so delicious but afterwards it just leaves you feeling sick and unhealthy. Eating healthily starts from the inside out. You will have more energy and in the end you will be able to see the benefits from the outside. Who doesn’t want to improve their appearance? Maybe start introducing more fruit and veg to the fridge or go to health food restaurants with your partner.
I know that whenever I have a problem, I don’t want to be talking about it with everyone all the time. Even if your partner has confided in you that they won’t want this to be the topic of conversation all the time, why not tell them something funny that happened in your day? Or, maybe something silly your dog did? It doesn’t have to be anything serious. Make it lighthearted.
Hugs are proven to be good for your health. They are known for decreasing stress and increasing human bonding. So when you know your partner is having a bad day, words may not help, only a hug will.
Even if your partner is not currently emotionally or physically available, you still can be there for them and remind them of how much you love them. You could bake or cook them their favourite foods, watch their favourite movies or TV shows. However, remember that you still need to do things for yourself, still see your friends and carry on with your hobbies. Sometimes, it may seem like they are not appreciating what you are doing, but they are more thankful than you think.
Even though your partner may be having a really bad day, you need to remind them that things will get better and this state is not forever, there are ways out of this state of mind. Help your partner to help themselves and be there for them.
Your most important role in this type of relationship is to be supportive and loving. That being said, you should never let yourself be treated badly or taken for granted. What are your calming tactics for dating someone with depression?