7 Civil Ways to Break off Your Relationship ...

There are so many ways to leave your lover including some I can’t mention here, but I think we all know that song. If it’s time to move on there’s no better time like the present. So, keep your phone handy for some much-needed calling after, as I give you seven ways to leave your lover.

1. Call Me!

(Your reaction) Thank you!

When deciding on ways to leave your lover one of the most trusted and sometimes safest ways is to simply call them up and break it off. This way you have voice on voice interaction. Rather than cowardly texting them it’s over, you’re giving them the respect of telling them the reason why with your actually voice. It doesn’t have to be a laundry list of reasons (fewer is usually better). It gives them a chance for them to ask a few questions. Just keep it short and sweet.

2. Meet Them in Person

(Your reaction) Thank you!

Yes, you could actually meet them in person. I know this is probably the last thing you want to do. There are a number of temptations with this, mainly that you might have make up sex and defeat the whole purpose of meeting. Not everything is always meant to end, but if your intentions are to end it, meeting them in a public place is always a nice and respectful way of saying goodbye.

3. Email Them

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I have actually had a great deal of success with this one. Some of my favorite goodbyes (is that even a thing?) have come through email. You get the chance to compose something that’s thoughtful and the chance to really write out exactly what you want and need to say. This also gives them the chance to respond in the same way, which oddly, has a great way of creating closure for both of you.

4. Okay… Sometimes You Can Text

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Okay, this is really for the guy you went out with a few times that won’t seem to leave you alone and you reaaaaally need to get him to stop calling, texting or showing up at your work. A simple and extremely blunt text works great. When he texts back broken-hearted (he’s a drama queen) make sure to not text him back ever again. He’ll keep texting but just don’t respond. Also texting works for the guy you’ve only been with on a couple of dates. Simply text, “Hey, you’re great but I don’t feel a romantic connection.” Done.

5. Move on

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Sometimes that actually means moving out of the town you both live in. It could be that you really need a change and moving to a new city might just be what this break up needs. Let him down easily and let him know that this is about your personal journey/spiritual quest/I need to know what it’s like outside of this one horse town or however you’d like to put it.

6. Don’t Make Excuses

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When you’re actually breaking up with the person you’ve been in a relationship with, don’t give them weak excuses. People see through these immediately and it causes hostility even after the break up. I’m guessing there’s probably a lot of hostility already so let’s not add to it. Give them legitimate answers but remember to not attack them. It won’t help anything bringing up that fight you had about picking bathroom colors again. That bathroom is painted and has nothing to do with why you’re breaking up. Maybe they're not willing to compromise was really it? Get to the root of it and tell them logically.

7. Do Not Get Back Together

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Listen, we’ve all done the back and forth game. It feels awful to break up, and later down the line, when all you want is some comfort, going back to your ex is not the answer. It might be temporary but all of the reasons you broke up will still be waiting to poke their fuzzy little heads up when the time is right. When you break up with someone, you weigh the good and the bad. The bad outweighed the good by enough for you to make the break. Don’t second-guess yourself (even if he’s repainted the bathroom with the colors you wanted). Make a clean break and move on.

Making a civil break with someone you’ve liked, cared about or loved is never easy. But, handling it the right way can make a hard situation a whole lot more tolerable. Have you recently broken up or are about to break up with someone? Leave us a comment and let us know how you handled it.

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