7 Common Problems when You First Start a Long Distance Relationship ...

By Belinda

Long distance relationships are HARD! Guest contributor Belinda Ma shares some common problems that plague us all at the start of a LDR.

At some point in our lives one of our relationships might be forced to turn into a long distance relationship because of work or well… life. Here are some common problems you should prepare yourself for when you start a long distance relationship and some suggestions on how you could overcome them and make things work.

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1

Different Time Zones

The purpose of being in a relationship is to share experiences with each other, but it could be quite difficult if you guys have different schedules. Your partner might have spent half the day at work already and you’ve just gotten out of bed. Now a lot of people tell couples that are in a long distance relationship to talk daily and that’s not a bad thing if you guys have the time, but let me tell you through experience; you sleeping at 5 in the morning and your partner waking up at the crack of dawn isn’t going to work out in the long run. I’m not suggesting you don’t talk at all but maybe cutting it down to twice or thrice a week is better. Of course you could always leave him sweet text messages to look forward to.

2

Friends and Family Influences

It’s pretty common that when your family and friends find out you’re in a long distance relationship they start convincing you that you could find someone better and closer. They just don’t seem to understand that with today's technology, it’s not that bad. The relationship is between the two of you, and as long as you and your partner are happy there is nothing wrong.

3

Loneliness

Looking at couples everywhere around you can make you feel lonely quite often. Accept that your partner is thousands of miles away. The one thing that I find helpful to avoid constantly feeling lonely is friends. Also find a hobby to keep you occupied when you two aren’t able to talk.

4

Dull Conversations

After a while your conversations could get a little dull and repetitive. Do any of these sound familiar? “How was your day?’, “Anything special happen?”, “That’s good.” Conversations usually get a little dull after a while. Try expanding your subjects of conversation, ask open ended questions or teach each other something new. In a long distance relationship communication is the key to a long term relationship.

5

Over Thinking

Everyone over-thinks, but over-thinking can end up ruining a perfectly good relationship if you're not careful. Like every relationship; you have to learn to trust each other. Once you start demanding constant updates on what they’re up to 24 hours a day, you’re basically pushing your partner away from you. A suggestion, when you start to overthink step back a bit, calm down and try distracting yourself by doing something else. It is really important to respect your partner.

Famous Quotes

To give oneself earnestly to the duties due to men, and, while respecting spiritual beings, to keep aloof from them, may be called wisdom.

Confucius
6

Text Message Arguments

When you fight through messaging, remember that context could be misread and usually there is never a resolution. When too many arguments are left unresolved, it could take a toll on your relationship. What I’m trying to say is even though fights are normal in a relationship, you don't have the liberty to talk to each other face to face and physically kiss and makeup up. So try not to fight through text messages. Doing it over the phone keeps misunderstandings at bay.

7

Is There a Future?

It seems hard to make a long distance work. Sometimes because it’s so intangible you lose hope and you don’t see an end. Don’t give up! Discuss a ‘closing the distance’ plan, and make plans to see each other. Talk about events you guys can go to, places you can go together, things you can do. Don’t just stay at the stage of saying ‘I love you’ and making empty promises.

These points sound bad but stick it out and things will get better. That trick to making a long distance relationship work is to be supportive. When you finally see them it is completely worth it. Being in a long distance relationship myself, you do cherish every single moment you have together. What do you guys think of long distance relationships? Also what other common problems occur in a long distance relationship?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Long distant relationships are very challenging. I'm in one now and we are at a point where one of us have to move. And seems to me he's making excuses. I'm recognizing the RED FLAGS. It sad but I'm going to have to make a decision what's best for me. I love him so much!

hi ur a  really good adviser.. im in a long distance relationship at the moment and its very new.. he works in a cruiseship o was wondering where i can instant message u id really like to talk.

True.. I have been in one My first crush my first love But he's back and now everything seems perfect

Hello I am in a long distance relationship since may last year so we be celebrating our first anniversary next month :) Has it been easy hell no ! We are continents apart but we love each other so much and planning a wedding by end of this year Yes communication is the main key and trust of course We hardly have friends as we are always working but we make sure we FaceTime daily ! ( oh thank god for technology I cannot sleep without seeing him daily and neither can he! We both look at it as a test for our love for each other.. And keep strong we hVe met twice now since we have known each other another visit is due soon.. Can't wait xx

its hard to be in a LDR. 5yrs my ex and i we couldnt made it we broke up! trust and communication are very important!

That's wasn't that encouraging sigh . . .

long distance is so very hard it got to stage where he was distant and we hardly communicated. We started to argue a lot. I think he wanted out. I still love him n want to be with him but don't think he wants that. He has too many problems in his life right now. Wrong timing I guess! we hv text message arguments. It hurts & sucks coz we were together over a year this year

Yes long distance sucks I just ended mine And it still hurts cuz I do love him. But we weren't talking much anymore and he didn't seem like he wanted to be in this relationship anymore . But I do believe if there's love and both want to be in it it can work out

I have been in an LDR for almost 2 years now. It's very hard, but when we are together it is worth it. Total trust is a necessity. It won't work with out trust. The hardest part for me is saying goodbye at the end of a visit, knowing it will be a month or two before we can be together again.

huhu....its hard..

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