I decided to write this article on dating games you grow out of because I went back and read the bajillion (actually around 40) other articles I previously wrote before my hiatus. Back then, I was young, and naive, and an LA Native in her early twenties. The only thing I knew was games.
I sat around a bunch of guys who were tools, and listened to how they talked about women and the things they wanted. I had a bunch of friends that were guys and would get a bunch of advice from them on how to, “win a guy over”. But the thing is, as I got older, I realized that playing games are just such a waste of time.
Today, I just don’t have time for it. I have a job, and friends, and a life I love. Having to orchestrate every move and emotional tactic I can come up with is exhausting. I’m too old, and just too damn tired. Luckily, there are dating games you grow out of - I assure you.
1. Hot and Cold
The best thing I have learned in my late twenties is to be your authentic self. Seriously, like it’s so time consuming having to remember what action or behavior you just did, and then what needs to come next, and managing his reactions. Don’t you want to be able just be real?
If the guy is only liking you for the games, then he really isn’t liking, “you”. Plus, I mean, it just gets SO OLD ... having to figure out what to text back, when to text, if you can call, if you can flirt, when you can be affectionate, etc. Sometimes what happens is you mirror someone else's actions. If he's cold, you're cold. If he's warm, you're warm, and it just becomes this cycle, and you get stuck playing this "game" that no one even wanted to play. At least, that's my usual problem.
In your late twenties, you’re looking to find something usually for the long haul, or a partner you can depend on. If you’re too busy messing with a guy’s head you're either going to lose him, lose yourself, or get burnt out.
2. Trying to Make a Guy Jealous
We just don’t care enough too. Bottom line. If a guy is into us, then he’s into us. If he’s not, then let him deal with some other girl. It is just petty and quite annoying having to waste so much energy getting a guy to give you attention. Because bottom line girls, if he wasn’t giving you the attention you wanted, you wouldn’t be sitting here coming up with ways to make him jealous. Just stop. When you’re in your early twenties, it’s fun and playful, and we all love a good win, but as you get older, it just gets old.
3. We Stop Giving a F**k
Literally, we just stop giving a fuck. It is such a waste to spend your time drooling over a dude who isn’t interested in you. It’s so simple. Either the guy likes us or he doesn’t. There is no in between.
The difference between when you’re in your early twenties to your late twenties is you feel time is limitless and this guy is really THE guy. That if it doesn't work with "him", then it won't work with anyone. So you take the games, you take the hot and cold, you take the guys being a lot of talk and little action, you have this false hope that you could change a guy, and then you get older and realize, "why did i spend so much time on that person?"
Being in your late twenties, you begin to realize more of what you want, and what you expect. If you aren't receiving it, then you walk away. It doesn't mean you don't have feelings for the person, or it isn't a hard thing to do, you just have expectations for how you want to be treated. By the time you're in your late twenties, you're just over all the drama and bullshit.
4. Game Planning Everything
The major difference between your early twenties and your late twenties is the feeling that you need to game plan every move you make with a guy. In your early twenties, you need to figure out when you’re going to text, when to text it, when you’re going to see the guy, what you’re going to say, what to wear, when you can see him, when you can’t, etc. I mean it is just so much effort for so little result. Plus, I’m sure your girlfriends are extremely tired of listening to you talk about the same douchelord for hours and hours. As you get older, you just don’t have enough energy or concern to think that hard about a guy.
5. Trying to Be Someone You’re Not
For some reason, I feel women in their early twenties have this constant thought they need to be the girl that the guy they are interested in would want, whether that be a major sports fan, or the “cool” girl, wants to just hook up yet really wants a boyfriend, is the brainiac, or is the dumb girl, etc. Be your authentic self. Seriously. Say you meet a guy, and he ends up falling in love with you, but you put on this facade, then what? You have to play a role for the rest of your life? It’s such a time waster. As I say to all my friends, “do you, baby boo”!