Did I have sex? When you don’t have much sexual experience, hooking up, the levels and degrees of sexual contact and intimacy can sometimes be confusing. What do people mean when they talk about the different bases? What about if you are fooling around with a member of the same sex? Perhaps you tried a few things that you didn’t happen to learn about in sex education and now you are wondering where on the sexual scale you have ended up? It all comes down to a simple question, did I have sex? Here are a few pointers to try to demystify the various degrees of sexual contact.
1. Just for Two Seconds
Even if you only felt the motion of the ocean for two seconds, yep, you still had sex. At the end of the day, the definition of what sex is and what sex isn’t has a lot of grey areas, but when there has been penetration, no matter how deep and no matter for how long, then that is about as concrete a definition of sexual intercourse as you can get. It’s also important to remember that if this brief contact happened without a condom, you still need to take the necessary actions afterwards. Even a couple seconds means a yes to the question, did I have sex?
2. Just the Tip
If the penis only got halfway into your vagina, yep, you still had sex. Again, there are no rules and regulations concerning the depth or length of penetration, but if there was indeed penetration, then the act of sexual intercourse was undertaken, for sure. Once again, condoms are must for any kind of penetration, so make sure you stay safe even if it is only the tip going in.
3. Only Oral or Anal?
Opinion is split on whether oral sex is classed as full sex. Sure, there is penetration of sorts, but some prefer to see it as foreplay leading up to the actual event. Anal again obviously doesn’t include a vagina in the equation, but many people believe it is an even more intimate and adventurous form of sexual intercourse, beyond that of ‘normal’ vaginal intercourse. Ultimately, the phrases are both ‘oral sex’ and ‘anal sex’, so there is definitely a case for both.
4. With a Girl?
Obviously, girl on girl intimacy doesn’t involve a penis, so you might be forgiven for being a little cloudier on the rules on this one. Lesbian sex encompasses a much broader spectrum of intimate touching and foreplay, with the use of the mouth and fingers usually making up for the bulk of the ‘heavy lifting’, so to speak! Many LGBT women class simply being intimate and experimenting with another girl as having a full sexual encounter.
5. Didn’t Consent?
If you did not consent to a sexual encounter, then this is most definitely classed as rape or assault. While the scientific term for the events that take place might be described as sex, there is absolutely no way that you need to class an attack or unwanted experience as your ‘first time’ if you don’t want to. You have the power to decide how your horrible experience affects your future life.
It is important to know that your first sexual experience might not constitute breaking your hymen and that you might lose your virginity without full penetration. If you have engaged in sexual activity, you are no longer a virgin.