--- title: "How to Tell if You Wear the Pants in the Relationship ..." description: "Played Hard to Get; No Labels; High Libido; Waiter Control; He Texts First; More ..." url: "https://love.allwomenstalk.com/do-you-wear-the-pants-in-your-relationship/" category: "love" last_updated: "2026-06-02" --- # How to Tell if You Wear the Pants in the Relationship ... It used to be frowned upon that women wore pants - they didn't really become acceptable or common until the 1920s. Even though we've been wearing pants for decades now, the phrase "wearing the pants in the relationship" is still hanging around. Women interpret this phrase as being strong and fierce. Men see it as a form of emasculation; an expression that the man in the relationship is lesser because the woman is stronger. I prefer to think that there are men out there who aren't doormats but rather, who appreciate having a strong woman as their partner. If you recognize these signs, you probably are a pants wearer! ## 1. Played Hard to Get ![Played Hard to Get](https://img.allw.mn/content/ja/qr/pvbknvrv56f6b244c4ba2545989954_245x152.gif) During the courting and dating period, you were the one who was perfectly happy to stay single and played hard to get. You made him work for it! ## 2. No Labels ![No Labels](https://img.allw.mn/content/qj/a2/h6ldym3k56f6b42a556aa517564205_500x268.gif) He keeps pushing for your relationship to be clearly defined, but to be honest you’re just not that in to labels and want the relationship to take its own course without pressure. ## 3. High Libido ![High Libido](https://img.allw.mn/content/wn/mt/wnx0x7c156f6b2305811b406299962_500x251.gif) You are always the partner who likes to initiate sexy times whenever possible, almost as if he likes to wait for you to suggest it! ## 4. Waiter Control ![Waiter Control](https://img.allw.mn/content/b5/e7/zzt39luo56f6bc819926f813773007_500x280.gif) Whenever you go out to a restaurant, you find that the waiter or waitress will always direct their questions and attention to you rather than to your partner. Subliminal power! ## 5. He Texts First ![He Texts First](https://img.allw.mn/content/f0/ce/i0rlnyeo56f6bd0322bb0128696419_500x231.gif) You are always on the receiving end of the text messages to start off a conversation, as if he always wants to check in, but you’re happy to be independent during the day. ## 6. He’s More Emotional ![He’s More Emotional](https://img.allw.mn/content/vl/g8/v509gwqc56f6bd429e390545197019_500x213.gif) Contrary to normal gender stereotypes, your boyfriend is actually the one who gets more emotional about things while you remain the strong, silent type. ## 7. Big Spoon ![Big Spoon](https://img.allw.mn/content/co/d0/t7hfxcav56f6be7970d42289266529_500x281.gif) You might be the girlfriend, but you always like to be the big spoon when it comes to night-time cuddles; more control that way! ## 8. You’re Protective ![You’re Protective](https://img.allw.mn/content/lc/q6/j9pvltkq56f6beeecd434036127570_245x138.gif) You love your man and you’re not afraid to show it, ready to throw down with anybody who dares to disrespect or overstep the mark! ## 9. Get Your Way ![Get Your Way](https://img.allw.mn/content/ay/ax/iyxorxun56f6bf886749b802525406_575x263.gif) You are used to getting your own way, not because you are a brat, but simply because you have the more dominant personality. ## 10. Vulnerability ![Vulnerability](https://img.allw.mn/content/kn/kz/pc86v8tc56f6c01626f99533654640_500x227.gif) You always feel a little bit awkward and out of place when you need to show your softer, more vulnerable side; you are more used to being the strong one. ## 11. People Don’t Get It ![People Don’t Get It](https://img.allw.mn/content/af/ia/aorzpmeb56f6c075a2846559163535_300x172.gif) You can be sure that you wear the trousers if you hear people saying that they don’t ‘get’ your relationship, it’s just because it doesn’t conform to the traditional gendered roles! ## 12. Unapologetic ![Unapologetic](https://img.allw.mn/content/zg/l1/e5eqc1e356f6c0d3e1683593405384_500x225.gif) You might earn more money than your boyfriend does, but rather than being shy about it, you own your success and love that you are in a great position. ## 13. He Talks about the Future ![He Talks about the Future](https://img.allw.mn/content/d6/t5/i6bp3gl456f6c184dcdc3325735266_500x206.gif) It’s your boyfriend that is always talking about the future and trying to lock you down in to a plan. You’re quite happy to live in the moment. ## 14. Parents Love Him ![Parents Love Him](https://img.allw.mn/content/t1/d5/veggrf3x56f6c377a51ae876413357_500x281.gif) Your parents love him and are always emphasizing how perfect you are for each other; probably because he’s one of the few guys who don’t mind sitting in the passenger seat! ## 15. Assert Your Independence ![Assert Your Independence](https://img.allw.mn/content/e4/rj/bj4036ow56f6c1f013629791751683_450x253.gif) Just because you are in love with your man, it doesn’t mean that you have to sacrifice your independence and stop doing separate things that you enjoy alone. ## 16. Strong Partnership ![Strong Partnership](https://img.allw.mn/content/yy/p0/b6muo1xj56f6c4133f1b5541950932_500x240.gif) Above all of the lovey-dovey, romantic elements of your relationship, you appreciate that you and your man have a strong partnership that feels solid and secure. ## 17. You’re Reading This ![You’re Reading This](https://img.allw.mn/content/x3/br/md5bd30m56f6c14281f89299304820_500x213.gif) Finally, the fact that you are even reading this must hint that you know you wear the trousers to start with! Would you be reading this if you didn’t think that in any way? Even a little bit!? I hope you can see there's a difference between wearing the pants and not letting him wear them. It's about being in control, not controlling. 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