Ending a relationship can be an absolute fiasco if you don't know the don'ts of breaking up. Many times, people look back on their break up experiences, and feel embarrassed, humiliated, or ashamed of themselves because of what they did either before, during or after their break up. I'm going to fill you in on the 10 don'ts of breaking up that everyone should know, so you're prepared the next time you're at the close of your relationship.
1. Don't Go M.I.a
The end of a relationship is always a little stressful, and many times completely awkward, but it's necessary to tell that person you want to end it. Leaving them without a word is one of the biggest don'ts of breaking up! Have respect for yourself and that person by initiating the dreaded yet necessary conversation.
2. Don't Tell Your Mutual Friends before the Person
One of the worst and most embarrassing situations is when your friend goes to console your soon-to-be-Ex and the person's response is nothing but a bewildered facial expression. Awkward! Make sure that person is the first to know to avoid making the break up harder than it has to be.
3. Don't Choose the Wrong Time
Keep in mind what's going on in the other person's life when you're planning to break the news. Waiting the night before that person has to take the Bar exam isn't very considerate. Give the person time to process and deal with it before having to face another big event.
4. Don't Make False Promises
Many times when couple’s break up they still care for one another, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Giving the other person a little encouragement and affirmation that everything will be alright is just fine, but don't promise that you'll be together again in the future. People want closure in a break up, and those empty promises will do everything but provide a sense of closure.
5. Don't Try to Be Friends
Trying to be friends is one of the don'ts of breaking up many people overlook because they believe they can make it work. Nine times out of ten, it doesn't work. There are too many feelings involved to have a healthy friendship after the break up. Unless you and the other person are comfortable talking about your new companions with each other, avoid trying to be friends at all costs!
6. Don't Stalk the Person
After a break up it's hard not to wonder what the other person is up to, but you have to immediately fight that feeling! When my friend broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years, she saw him after the break up more than she saw him when they were together. He "accidentally" bumped into her at her job a few times swearing he had forgotten she worked there. Aside from being just plain creepy, you'll find that moving on is much harder when you and your Ex are always crossing paths.
7. Don't Seek Revenge
If you're the one getting your heart broken, you may have many intense emotions with anger being at number one. If I had to stress one of the don'ts of breaking up, it would be this one. Breaking windows, slashing tires, and inflicting bodily harm on your Ex will never be okay. This type of behavior will lead you to a bad reputation and possibly jail. Use that energy to do something positive and uplifting. Even if you were treated unfairly, be the bigger person and move on; that's the best revenge.
8. Don't Bad Mouth
I know a guy who broke up with his girlfriend, and not even twenty minutes later, her Facebook timeline was filled with angry statuses calling him names and claiming that she could do much better anyway. The lesson here is that she tried to make him look like the bad guy, but all it did was make her look nasty and bitter. If you don't have anything positive to say, try not to mention that person at all.
9. Don't Let Yourself Go
When your relationship ends, that doesn't mean your life ends. Continue going to work, eating decently,and bathing regularly! It may be hard to continue your daily routine without the person you thought was your soul mate, but embrace the reality that life goes on. Remind yourself that you have value, and take care of yourself.
10. Don't Pretend That You're Okay
Break ups hurt, and pretending that everything is "peachy" won't help you. If you're not honest with yourself, the hurt will just get buried deeper and deeper making it much harder to heal. Acknowledge that you're hurt and take some time to mourn. Rent a few movies, listen to break up songs, cry, or talk to a friend. If you deal with your hurt, you'll grow stronger.
Would you like to share anymore advice on what not to do when breaking up? Have you witnessed anyone committing any of the don'ts of breaking up? I'd love to know!