Dating can be a minefield, and so can knowing what topics to avoid while dating – as if first dates weren’t awkward enough! Sometimes you are just glad that there is any conversation at all, even if it is about his mum’s health conditions or an argument over political beliefs. If you are hoping for a future, though, or at least a second date, here are some topics to avoid while dating.
1. Your Exes
Okay, so this one sounds like an obvious dating faux-pas, right? You’d be surprised how many people commit it. Sometimes you can just be trying to prove that you haven’t been single for centuries, or that you’ve dated someone hot/a model/the CEO of Apple…however cool you are trying to make yourself look, your date is more likely to be thinking they can’t compete – or perhaps even considering asking your ex for a date. Your ex is a definiate topic to avoid while dating!
This one is important, but you need to go about it in the right way. If it is majorly important to you to know your dates religion, look for subtle signs, or find out before the date. Don’t bring it up on the night, though. Its too likely to cause an argument, or have someone feel that they are being lectured. I went on a date with a man who tried to convince me my soul would burn in hell for all eternity once. The longest three hours of my life, and it will never, ever be forgotten by my friends.
If you want to show off your wealth, offer to buy a bottle of champagne, or a fancy desert. A first date really isn’t the time for comparing bank statements, though (Yep, I’ve really dated someone who bought bank statements. And was utterly horrified I hadn’t bought mine…)
If you’ve got to this stage, than your date should be going okay, right? Maybe not. Whilst flirting and sexual innuendo are part of the fun, being questioned on your favorite position or whether you would dress up as Yoda or a banana are not really suitable for first dates. I mean, Yoda? Seriously? I’d at least want to be Princess Leia.
We all know that you rock, but make sure the whole date doesn’t revolve around yourself. Unfortunately, this can be a nervous habit – talking about yourself when you feel under pressure and are desperate to make conversation is only natural, but try to talk about them instead. Ask about their favourite vacation, or talk about pick-up lines. Everyone has heard a bad one, and they will certainly make you laugh! You aren’t a complete topic to avoid while dating – just make sure it isn’t all about you.
6. Marriage and Kids
My friend’s date once got out his phone, showed her a list of baby names he’d picked, and asked which ones she loved. Not liking any of the names was, apparently, a deal-breaker… Remember that a first date is just that, a first date. A chance to meet each other and see if there is a spark…don’t make the dating faux pas of planning your future right then. Although talking about how many kids you’d like generically is okay, if your date mentions it. Just don’t admit to having used their Facebook photo to ‘create’ your child online.
7. Embarrassing Quirks
At school, you were probably told that your audience would bond with you if you made yourself seem real. You don’t want to do this on a date, though. Admitting ice cream gives you diarrhea isn’t going to make your date feel closer to you…it’ll just put them off holding your hand! This is definitely one of the topics to avoid while dating!
If you’ve been introduced to your date by mutual friends, talking about them can help you to get conversation started. Be careful, though. Your friends should be a definite topic to avoid while dating, as gossip can make it seem like you have a boring life. Keep conversation to well-known facts and information, and switch to talking about something else when the conversation gets stale.
So, if these are all topics to avoid while dating, what should you talk about?! Open questions are best. Most people have a favorite vacation, and asking about that is pleasantly different to talking about favorite films or music. Pop culture and current events are alternatives which are usually ‘safe’ choices, and don’t be afraid to ask your date about their life. Have you committed a date faux-pas? Did I miss any topics to avoid while dating? I’d love to hear about it!
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