By Alicia • 6 Comments
Part of dating is getting to know each other on a deeper level. You want to find out things about one another to help you decide if you’re compatible. Many of these questions shouldn’t be thrown out too early into a relationship. Use your intuition to help you know when it’s best to talk about these subjects.
This’s an easy question. He could be a rustic cabin in the woods kind of vacationer while you’re more of a lay on the beach and soak up the sun kind of girl. It’s good to know if you have different preferences. If they differ, you can still move forward in a relationship. This’s a small thing. It just may mean compromise, taking turns or an occasional trip with friends.
This’s not a question you want to ask on your first date. It’s best to wait until you’re a few months into a relationship before you bring up this topic. However, it’s something that’s good to discuss, especially if you have strong feelings about marriage. You don’t want to date a guy for two years only to find out that he has no intention of ever marrying. Just like other aspects of a future together, it’s important to see where you stand on this subject.
This’s another topic that you want to bring up too quickly. You definitely want to wait until you’re several months if not a year into a committed dating relationship before you put this one out there. But on the flip side, it’s important to discuss. You don’t want to spend several years with someone only to find out they don’t want children and you do, or vice versa. I once had a friend that didn’t find out her guy didn’t want children until they were a couple of years into marriage. It was devastating to her.
Table this one until you’re entering a sexual relationship. But when you are, it’s good to talk about it. You won’t know each other’s preferences unless you do. How open-minded is your partner about your desires? How open-minded are you about his? You want to have some common ground to base your sexual relationship on.
It’s good to get a feel for how your guy handles money. Is he a saver or a spender? Does he like the security of knowing his future is financially covered? You want to have some similarity in financial goals. Again, not a conversation you want to have until you feel it’s the right time.
Going hand-in-hand with the above question is this one. It’s good to discuss your feelings on combined finances. This conversation needs to take place before you decide to marry. Maybe you want your own accounts but he wants a joint one. It’s best to find a way to compromise on issues like this before it causes a big problem.
This’s an easier topic to discuss. It can be fun to share about your life goals and learn about his. But on a serious note, if his life goals are to work in the frozen tundra and you love big city life in a tropical climate, it’s worth noting. None of these questions mean you have to end your relationship if your answers differ, although it’s possible you might choose that. But it’s good to know each other’s feelings and find compromise where you need to.
These’re 7 important conversations to have with your man. What would you add? I’d love to hear your answers!