Hello Sugas! Are you looking for some foolproof ways to know you're the one? We've discussed in great length if HE is the one. The next question naturally has to be, are YOU the one? Well, the easiest way to determine this is by his behavior. No matter how immature, childish, or foolish a man is, he will make sure the woman he values, knows she is valued. In this case, my loves, either you got him or you don’t.
BUT, if he is already at least semi-serious about you, there are things that will convince him you are heaven sent! And there are things about you, that will keep him wondering if he can do better. He’ll keep you around, but the relationship will experience very little progression. This is the land of two years of dating without a commitment, ten or more years of “just his girlfriend”, and even a five year long “engagement” that never reaches an alter. Alright, let’s get into it. Here are the top 5 foolproof ways to know YOU’RE The One!
Ready? Set. Go!
1. You KNOW Who You Are!
Knowing who you are is one of the top foolproof ways to know you're the one. It is impossible to be the one if you’re going through an identity crisis, finding yourself, or between the fork and the road! You can’t be anyone’s One, if your look, ideas, ambitions, goals, and theology change semi-daily.
Also, every man wants to be the man of your dreams. He wants to be what you want, not what you ended up with. How can you choose or be chosen by the right “type” of man, when you really don’t know what “type” of woman you are??
AND you can’t be The One if you’re wandering this earth with no direction, no purpose, and ultimately no goals. And if you have no goals, how can he know that the goals you eventually get will be conducive to his own??
Plus, knowing who you are builds confidence! If you don’t know who are, you’ll lack self worth, value, and positive self image, and worse, you won’t see your originality, and neither will he.
2. Your Motives Are Pure
These days, everyone is looking for their “big break”. Women and men both pursue individuals who will make their life cushier. You can’t be The One if you’re a gold digger, honey. Make sure that you like him for him or else you’ll both be miserable if you manage to “land him," which will be tough if you have to be “on” all the time in order to do it. Who can keep up such a charade?
Relationships are work. This work gets tiresome even when you’re madly in love with your beau. But if you’re just there for the big payout, you’ll tire and become bitter soon enough. It’ll show, and you’ll be picking up a box of your belongings next weekend.
And it’ll suck big time, because it’ll be a TOTAL waste of time. In the a pure relationship, when it ends, you have fond memories, lessons learned, and other good stuff. When you are working towards a financial or any other business oriented goal, and the relationship expires prematurely-- you have absolutely nothing to show for it. #bummer
3. You’re Healed
Failed relationships take their toll. They often leave bruises, bumps, and in some special cases, war wounds. You can’t be The One with trust issues. You can’t be The One if you’re on the hunt for a man to “show you” that all men aren’t jerks. If you don’t already know that, you’re not ready.
The worst thing that can happen is that you meet the man of your dreams and scare him off with your issues. You may think that if he is the man for you, he’ll understand. But is that fair to him? Because when we are hurting, we hurt others. Should a man we care about have to suffer through the carnage of our last failed relationship?? If you want him to, you’re not ready.
Anyone you’re seeking to seriously date deserves the best of you, just as you deserve the best of him. If you’re best is buried under broken promises, drama, and deep hurt, he’ll never know the splendor that is you. Therefore, by default, you cannot be The One.
4. You’re Willing to Work!
As aforementioned, relationships are jobs. Loving the same man a million different ways for years, is no small feat. Consistently understanding him, supporting him, being attentive to him, and yes, respecting him, EVEN when it’s super hard, is challenging work! If you want to be spoiled, you’ll have to do some spoiling. You will be inconvenienced. You will have to do things for him when you don’t feel like it. Sacrifices will need to be made. If your vision of a relationship includes you being the princess, you’re in for a rude awakening.
You may also have to do things for his family. His mom may need help with her resume. His kid brother may need a ride home from basketball practice or to the movies. His favorite niece may need her makeup done for prom, and you’re the bomb.com at doing faces. Are you ready to work? To be the most valuable member of his team?
See, the day-to-day work will often be your field. You two aren’t going out to dinner nightly. More than likely, you’re going to have to cook at least 60% of the time. Even if he’s a modern man, the division of labor in the household will NEVER be a legitimate 50/50 split. And you’ll usually be the manager of the household, the calendar, and the kids schedule, when the time comes. And in exchange, he’ll complete your Honey Do List extremely slowly, write touching FB tributes on your birthday, and get the best gift he can afford on special holidays. I’m half kidding. But seriously, his work WON’T look the same as your work. You can’t be The One, if you’re selfish.
5. You’re Handling Your Business
Let me preface this one by saying, you don’t have to have it all together. But you do need to be making consistent strides toward accomplishing things! Are you in school? Are you working in your field? Are you saving money, taking care of your credit, reading a book per month, working out, using your time productively, and staying out of trouble? Or at least working toward all of the above? If not, you’re not The One. If you are immature, unfocused, easily distracted, and contributing nothing to society, how can someone build a legacy with you?
Every woman knows what she needs to do to be great. An unwillingness to do so makes you lazy or unmotivated. Either way, it’s not relationship time for you.