All Women's Talk

Respectful Lines to Use to Break up in a Healthy Way ...

By Hannah

Relationships don’t always work out and healthy breakup phrases are handy to have when it's time to end things.

Maybe you’re trying to analyze what happened after one ends. Maybe you remained friends with someone after a break up and still question why the relationship ended. Maybe you were rejected before a relationship was formed. Whatever the case, the opportunity for a romantic connection is no longer there. It is natural for people to yearn for a reason. To think there must be something to make events turn out the way they did. But is it healthy? Here are some of the common reasoning people use after a relationship ends and some healthy alternatives. Respectful breakup lines are an important way to end any relationship, so keep them in mind.

1 They Were Emotionally Unavailable

This may very well be the case. Sometimes people really are overwhelmed by their emotions to the point of not accepting a new relationship. Think of times in your life when you have been too busy, felt depressed or unaccomplished, or had just left a relationship. There was probably a time you did not want to enter another one. But, just hear me out. If you had met someone special, someone you could see a future with during that time, would you have given them a chance? Emotionally unavailability does happen, but most people will suddenly become available when there is a person they want to be with.

What You Should Say:

"I deserve more."

If he put in no effort into your relationship and the next girl gets a ton of attention, be happy you got away. He would never have changed for you. Most likely he did not change for her. All his issues, including the ones that made him emotionally unavailable in the first place, are still there. Whether or not this new woman is his forever person does not matter. She is stuck dealing with his problems and you got away.

2 It’s Not You, It’s Me

When you overanalyze a previous relationship it can become very one-sided. You, after all, only have access to your own memories and your own beliefs. People are naturally, and healthily, narcissistic in this way. But because of this, we will either see ourselves as the predator or the victim. This skews what actually occurred during the relationship.

What You Should Say:

"We were not right together."

You, yes, perfect you, caused problems in the relationship. So did that jerk who dumped you. Does it matter who caused more? The fact is that you and he did not work together as a unit. Learn from your actions and use the experience to determine what you need in a future mate.

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3 He is My Twin Flame (soul Mate, Other New Age Term)

First, I do believe in these entities. Second, twin flames and soul mates are different, with different defining characteristics. The problem is when these new age terms become more and more common, people apply them without fully understanding their intended meaning. When people think their relationship was a twin flame, which is characterized as a difficult relationship with a chasing pattern, they may be right. Or, more likely, they may be categorizing a bad relationship as something special because they are not ready to let go of the person. If a relationship feels more like obsessive love than a spiritual connection, it probably is. Additionally, if it was a twin flame relationship, that does not mean it was a healthy relationship.

What You Should Say:

"I escaped the roller coaster."

Nobody should live their life on a roller coaster. That kind of emotional turmoil can drive a person crazy. Go ahead and believe in all the romantic things you want, but if he was a good person for you to be with he would not toy with your emotions. The chase should not be the only exciting part of your relationship. Once you or he have been caught, there needs to be some kind of enjoyment in the every day. Be happy that you made it out of the roller coaster with your sanity.

4 It It’s Meant to Be, It Will Be

I have used this saying for family and friends and it has been said by family and friends to me. In and of itself, this is not bad advice. It is true, if your relationship is meant to be it would have lasted or it will happen in the future. The problem is if you are not over the relationship, this saying can be a sign of hope. A devastated mind can twist the phrase into meaning you and your ex are destined to be together in the future, which can make it harder for you to move on and even turn into a full on obsession.

What You Should Say:

"It is over, I am sad but I will be okay."

That is the beauty of life. We can be disappointed and hurt then, through time, we can learn how to feel and love again.

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