Here's How to Feel Whole Again after a Breakup ...

By Holly • Apr 1, 2015 MD

Whether you were the one who got dumped or the one who ended it, losing your partner is never fun. It can make you feel like your life is spiraling out of control, even though you know in your heart that you're better off single. When you're struggling to get over your ex, you need to remember that there's much more to life than boys. Her are a few simple ways to feel whole again after a breakup:

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1. Find Your Passion

Many people assume that finding someone to date will fill that hole in their heart. However, what you really need to feel complete is a purpose in life. It sounds complicated, but it can actually be rather simple. What do you love most in the world? Animals? Painting? Food? Once you figure out what you enjoy the most, find a way to incorporate it into your life by making a career out of it. Become a vet, a painter, or a chef. It's all up to you.

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2. Love Yourself

Even if you didn't love your ex, you probably loved the way he made you feel. Why? Because humans have a craving for affection. You want to feel special, which is why you think a boyfriend is the answer to your problems. However, you don't need a man. You just need to learn to love yourself. You don't need anyone's approval to feel special, because you already are.

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3. Replace Him

Don't immediately replace your ex with another guy. Instead, use the time you would've spent with your ex to hang out with your best friends or your family. You can even buy a puppy or kitty if you're capable of taking care of it. A boyfriend isn't what you need--you just need a friend.

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4. Learn Something New

Back when you had a boyfriend, you probably neglected to do some important things like work out, volunteer, or go to class. Well, now that you're single, it's time to do all the things you've been neglecting. Get your life back on track so you can be happy with yourself.

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If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. Reinvent Yourself

Now that you're unattached, you can reinvent yourself. Did you always want pastel colored hair? What about a tongue piercing? Now is the time to go for it, because it could help you attract a cutie in the future.

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6. Become One with Nature

If you can't see beauty in yourself, you should at least be able to see the beauty in the world. That's why you should read outside instead of inside, and take a walk down the block instead of on your treadmill. Being cooped up around electronics all day is unhealthy. It'll do you good to be around nature, because it'll remind you how beautiful the natural world is.

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7. Just Read

Reading gives you a different sensation than watching a movie or a television show does. It'll make you feel like you're really inside the mind of the main character. When you feel incomplete, it's healthy to read about others who feel the same way. Maybe the way they deal with their problems can inspire you to deal with your own.

Breakups are always rough, but they shouldn't make you feel incomplete. You certainly don't need a man in order to feel fulfilled. What do you usually do to get over an ex?

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Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • H3idi

    2015-04-05T11:52:46.154Z

    Great timing, my boyfriend and I just broke up about a week ago. Saturday I just laid around watching Netflix all day. It's time to move on.
  • Bhaviti

    2015-04-15T16:53:02.223Z

    4 years with someone and you thought he was the one. Especially when ur in your late 30's you worry about being alone and stay in the relationship just becuase U don't want to end up old gray and in your own. My relationship was toxic but very addictive. Ring a bell in anyone's head? Now ended it. He won't leave it alone. Need some advice to get him off my back. As it's painful enough having to deal with not having him around
  • Zahira

    2015-05-28T19:31:01.360Z

    It has been a roller coaster and it hurts so bad, most because you don't have a reason to hold on to, what happen? Where did the love go? I feel lost some days, and some are better ! Im glad to see I'm not alone on the process, it's natural and we are only human ! 💕
  • Jessica

    2015-04-02T02:07:08.258Z

    This is unbelievably true
  • Savannah

    2015-12-18T16:14:44.800Z

    You don't replace something that you can't replace that's the worst part don't go searching for something that's suppose to find you
  • DMT

    2015-07-03T22:02:21.767Z

    Yes going through one now. 35 days in to it (not counting!) Has been a rocky road. After 15 years of living together, the weekend he moved out, I got my hair cut and coloured - never coloured my hair when he was in my life. Bought some new clothes and went out that night. Didn't get home til 430am! Had fun with my girls. Still having fun with my girls but holding back on the alcohol. Doesn't help me achieve clarity. Starting yoga on Monday, started counselling 3 weeks ago and see a reiki master every 2-3 weeks. Got to get the energy back and I have to love myself through this....we all do.
  • Rita

    2015-04-04T01:32:23.885Z

    I'm going through an ugly break up right now I hate the way I feel I wish I didn't have to go through All this heartache
  • Blue18

    2015-04-10T07:11:33.696Z

    Needed this article. Thank you!
  • One

    2022-05-06T17:07:23.208Z

    Learn, grow, read and move on. It might take you a lot of time. Do not replace the other person with somebody else. Work on yourself, understand the life lesson and develop stronger self. Life is too short to live in the past, embrace the future. Do sports and get better looking, be the best version if yourself and you will attract the right person. Healthy relationship is when the other person makes your life reacher and not the center of your universe. It takes time to let go and more time for wound to heal. When you get a breakdown, cry and then put yourself together. Remember to enjoy your life and put yourself first. After a while you will understand that breakup is the best thing could have happened to you. You are free to go and do whatever you want. Sometimes it will be harder than others, but just keep going, your new self deserves better. You are strong person. When you begging to feel bad, workout, when you are done with your workout, you will feel much better. Eat healthy, workout and have fun. The purpose of life is to be happy, don’t forget it! I know how hard it is, how lonely and without path. Just remember, be with your friends and family. Try not to stay alone. You are loved and you matter. Make your life an adventure, excitement - an extraordinary life.
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