Long term relationships are an achievement. While it might not sound romantic, committing to someone for years and years takes hard work and commitment. In the initial stages of love, many people are under what is somewhat like a spell. When the infatuation drifts away, we are left with a situation that either matures into a deeper love or we break up.
It was Woody Allen who once said "The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it."
This may well be true and once that initial lust has eased, many relationships go through a stage of tension, a time of working out whether the other person is actually a good match or not.
Everyone has heard of the 7-year itch: it has even been scientifically shown that after 4 years, most people are immune to the other person's chemistry in a relationship. So for relationships to last longer than that, it means a deeper love must set in. When people have been together for many years, it is easy to become lazy. It is easy to take those you love for granted and not appreciate all they are.
Some important things to remember here is to actually schedule in time for each other. In this age where the digital world and everything in it can be screaming for your attention, it is wise to consciously pay attention to your partner without any distractions. Get a babysitter, book a day off work, invest quality time in your relationship. It is the best gift you can give your partner and yourself.
Another problem long term relationships can have is the inability to forgive your partner for something they did or did not do for you. If there is a frame of mind that involves resentment or anger, it festers. For a healthy relationship, address it and then let it go. If any wrongdoing cannot be forgiven, then the relationship will become unhealthy.
If romance has slipped away in a long term relationship, think back to the beginning. What drew you to them in the first place? Have you changed as a person? Have they? Think about what would make the other person happy? Would it make things better if you complimented your partner more? What if you thanked them for cooking dinner? What about flowers? Any gesture of kindness can go a long way. Appreciate them and show your gratitude, who knows? Sparks might fly.