You need to be strong when considering how to deal with a relationship in crisis. No one said relationships were easy. In fact, one truth in the world is that relationships are not easy, let alone marriage. Vows and promises seem like words with no meaning after stubborn arguments, where nagging voices just fill the air. You begin to imagine life without that person you spent months or even years fighting to be with.
Are all the arguments, miscommunications, and annoyances all worth staying for? I mean it's simple, right? Pack up, forget the memories, forget the love, forget the amount of effort you both put into making your relationship work. Just simply walk out...that seems like the easiest option, doesn't it? And, at times, YES it's the smartest choice because every situation or relationship is different. You should never settle for less than what you deserve, ever!
But, what about situations where arguments are constantly made by the same problems, but never fixed? What do you do then? I have chosen how to deal with a relationship in crisis. I'm choosing to stay and fix. This is because I know that we are both imperfect. I knew going into this that we were both young, I knew it wouldn't be easy. Because honestly, since the beginning, it never was. But, I want to be the one that stays. I decided I don't want to be the one that runs in the opposite direction when the memories become clouded by arguments and angry voices fill the air. I don't want to imagine a life without him and I won't wish for anyone else.
I wanted this. I wanted us. I wanted him. I'm not just going to forget that when sh** hits the roof, and when things don't fall perfectly into place. I want the good days and the bad days. I will deal with the arguments and raised voices. I want the stubbornness and the many times we don't see eye-to-eye. I want the inconsistencies, the hypocrisies and contradictions.
I want to know him when he is at his lowest point, when he is at his worst and at the most unforgivable. I want to learn to love him anyway.
I want him to know me. I want him to know how I only eat the top of bagels and will selfishly put the bottoms back in the bag, or how I only eat the cereal flakes from the Special K Strawberry cereal but not the strawberries. I want him to know my flaws--all of them. I want him to know all of me and still find a way to love all of my mess.
It's learning to love someone for who they are, even through the fights and arguments. It's saying, "I love you" and meaning it, even when life is difficult. It's keeping your commitment to love them in good or bad, and continually loving them when things get hard. Even when it’s impossible,
I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel. Be willing to change for the better. Listen. Even when you really don't want too, really listen to how it affects your significant other. Apologize. Especially when it’s necessary to admit your faults. Learn. Be willing to learn from one another and lift each other up. These small gestures make big differences.
I would know... When you find love. Cherish it. Work hard to keep it. And, most importantly enjoy it.
Bad relationships: this article isn't intended to tell those who are involved in a violent relationship whether its physical, mental/emotional abuse to stay in that relationship. Every person has their reason on leaving a relationship, and I highly respect that and their choices to do so.