The thing that sucks most about breaking up with someone is that the grief and sadness presents itself in lots of different staggered stages. There is the initial split up, then there is the consolation from your family and friends, and then further down the line, when you think you might have gotten over it, there is the first time that you see your ex with a new partner! You might not even have feelings for them anymore, but seeing them moved on like that can still be a body blow. Here is how to handle seeing an ex in a new relationship.
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1. Chill
Whatever you do, don’t make a scene by doing anything drastic! No matter how you are feeling inside, save your reactions for when you are in a quiet place with only friends around. Don’t do anything in your ex’s presence that is going to be talked about by him and his new partner. That’s the worst possible outcome.
2. Don’t Confront
It might be the case that you have unfinished business with your ex, but you need to resist the urge to confront them in this public space. Remember that it isn’t just you two there, and the dynamic has changed since your breakup. You wouldn’t confront a stranger like that, so don’t confront your ex like it either.
3. Don’t Hide
If he has seen you from across the room, the worst thing you can do for your reputation is to try and hide. He already knows that you are there, so by all means ignore him, but don’t play hide and seek and give him the satisfaction of knowing that he is having that kind of effect on you.
4. Short and Sweet
If you do have to come face to face with him, then just keep things nice and civil, short and sweet. A quick hi is more than enough. You don’t owe him anything and you don’t have to start a conversation with his new woman. Just say your hellos and then move on to another spot in the room.
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5. No Proving
Try to resist the temptation to want to prove yourself or show him that you are ‘totally fine’ and over it, because the likelihood is that you are going to come across as trying too hard or being a bit desperate. You don’t have anything to prove, so there is no need to put up false appearances and act in ways that you wouldn’t normally.
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6. Easier Next Time
It can be a shock the first time you see your ex again, but just remember that that is as hard as it is going to get. With each subsequent meeting, you will feel less and less effected, and hopefully in time it won’t be something that has a negative impact on you at all. Time is a great healer!
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