You've got to know how to leave a relationship gracefully. You’ve been asking yourself for quite some time now, “Why am I still in this relationship?” You love him more than anything but you realize things aren’t good and you may need to end things. So how do you break it off with him without hurting his feelings too much and leave with dignity and grace? Here's how to leave a relationship gracefully.
1. Make a Pros and Cons List
A list is the first step in learning how to leave a relationship gracefully. Write out all the benefits and disadvantages of staying or leaving the relationship. Sometimes, we just can’t see a reason to stay, so sit quietly and think to yourself, why should you stay? Would it be better to go? Do you really want to leave, or can you make it work? And just don’t write down the pluses and minuses, write down which pros mean more, and which cons can’t be overlooked.
2. Think about How He Would Feel
Just because you’re ready to move on, doesn’t mean he is. So, when it comes to pulling the plug on the relationship, think about your partner. If you were the one being dumped, how would you want it to happen? Through a text, an email, over the phone or face to face? Would you like him to start off with your good qualities before hitting you with that pivotal “but”? Or would you just prefer him to rip it off like a band-aid? Put yourself in your soon-to-be-lover’s shoes and ask yourself, how would you want it to end? Be considerate of his feelings, truthful, and respectful.
3. Be Clear and Don’t Confuse Things
Often when we break up, we want to be polite and not hurt our partner’s feeling. However, politeness can sometimes be misconstrued as just needing to talk as opposed to an actual split from one another. Your partner may not be aware that it’s a breakup, simply because the words “break” and “up” were never used.
4. Be Honest
Let your lover know why you’re ending things. Don’t say things like, “Oh because,” or “It’s not you, it’s me.” Let him know what wasn’t working for you, whether it be you’re not ready to commit, you want different things, or even if you’re in love with someone else. Tell your partner the truth. He deserves to know why things are ending.
5. Don’t Pick Fights or Use Harsh Language
Playing the blame game or calling each other names is never a good way to end things. For starters, it leaves things on a bad note. Instead of leaving from a place of love and respect, you leave with hate in your heart and disdain of your soon-to-be-former-lover, losing all chances of reconciliation in the future, should you decide to reconnect. Also, blaming and name calling shows that you don’t respect your partner and could make him feel as if you never loved him.
6. Let Him Know This is Hard for You
Breakups are never easy. Make it clear that you find no joy in having to end the relationship. That even though you know it’s for the best, this is hard for you to do. However, try to say it in a way that doesn’t make it come across as if it were all about you.
7. Don’t Renegotiate Unless You’re Absolutely Sure
Being single isn’t always ideal, however, don’t agree to save the relationship just because you’re scared to be alone. Sometimes, we cry breakup because we’re frustrated and don’t know what else to do. But if you realize there’s still a relationship worth having, then sit down and agree to what will work and what needs to never happen again.
8. Leave on Friendly Terms
Breaking up doesn’t mean you have to be enemies but also doesn’t mean you have to be friends. You can agree to still keep in touch and be corrigible when you see one another. Of course, this can be after you two have had some time to heal.