How to Pick Yourself up after a Breakup and Feel like a New Improved Woman ...

Alison

Breaking up with your partner can be devastating, and leave you feeling like you'll never feel happy again. You have to pass through a difficult stage, and there's no telling how long it will take for you to feel better. But the upset will pass, and you can actually come out of it stronger and happier than you were before. Here's how to pick yourself up and feel better and stronger …

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1

Look Forwards

Make a conscious decision to look forwards and not dwell on what went wrong win your relationship. It's over, and you need to move on. Of course it will take time to recover, but you do have the power to recover. Our happiness does not depend on one person, but lies within ourselves. Onwards and upwards!

2

For a Reason

The relationship ended for a reason, or even several. It wasn't meant to be, so accept that. It's natural to mourn the loss of someone you love, but it's the end of one chapter in your life, not the whole story. You'll look back and realise that you're better off and that the feeling of upset has passed.

3

Be Yourself

We all want to find a partner who accepts and loves us as we are. But it can actually be harder to be ourselves in a relationship. Partners do try to change each other. So a breakup can actually be a positive change, and give you back the chance to be yourself without someone telling you to be different. Plus you can do exactly what you want - your life is your own again.

4

You Are Strong

When you're going through a breakup, you don't feel very strong. But you are, so remind yourself of that. You'll come through this just fine, and in time meet someone new. They may even be much better for you. It's by going through hard times that we really just how strong we are - and this isn't as bad as it seems anyway.

5

Treat Yourself

Be kind to yourself while you're coming to terms with the end of the relationship. If you want to spend some time watching box sets and not going out, then do so. It's a time for indulgence, tranquility, and recovering from the hurt . Treat yourself to things that will help you feel better.

6

Freedom

One advantage of finding yourself suddenly single is that you can do anything you want, and don't have to worry about someone else's needs. So enjoy the freedom that it gives you. It's actually quite liberating to only have yourself to please, so make the most of it.

7

Develop

The end of a relationship can be devastating. You feel that you'll never get over it, or find it difficult to imagine a time when this will all be in the past. But you can really develop as a person and learn to be independent again. Speaking from my own experience, I've really gone from strength to strength since my marriage ended, and am far happier now. I'm a very different person, and I think a better and happier one.

So try to see the breakup as an opportunity for a new and even better life. You really can come out of the experience better off, but you do have to find the courage to move on. Do you look back on someone you loved and wonder what you ever saw in them?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

I'm having a hard time getting over the break up that I'm currently going through. This is very helpful and positive. Thank you!

Very useful.

I needed to read, my 26 yr marriage ended two months ago when my husband moved out.

so was mine . The most fitting advice in my situation was that you don't have to stress out all the time about what your spouse wants to do everyday, and you certainly don't want to but neither do you want to be the agitator of backing out on an arrangement that invariably causes dissension time & time again one or the other may change their desire to do something. ion

Love it...

Great relationship advice

I have been through with a worse break up ever in my entire life. Yes, I understand that he is not really for me. He was verbally abusive and controlling. Our scenario within our relationship was we broke up and made up again. I kept up on his excuses because i loved him and i was willing to understand to the extent that i did not know already why i was putting myself in the situation. The only thing that i know was i didn't want to lose him that time. Red flags were there. But i was blinded and i wasn't able to think logically because i was obsessed with my emotions for him. I loved him a lot that i forgot to love myself. I valued him and put him first before mine but still he was hurting me with his tongue. He put me down and threw negative things against me. But i still chose to forgive him. After a week that we broke up, he was rubbing off in my face that his new girl was way better than i was. And 2 mos after i meant today, yes i am happy that i was able to escape of that situation. I am no longer confused and i have already regained my peace of mind. But there are times that i am missing him and the wanting to see him. But i mostly dismissed the feelings because i don't want to put up his shit all over again. He didn't give me closure. The closure that i want. But later i realized the best closure is the closure that we give to ourselves. I forgive him. I forgive the situation and ultimately i forgive myself.

Thank you for sharing. Best of luck to u in your new season of independence.

I went through a break up almost about a month ago and it feel like it's still haunting me. I feel like I can't trust any other guy. He tore me to pieces. I thought I could trust him and do everything for me and then he just went and broke my heart after he said he wouldn't. I still don't know what to do. It's really hard. I hae all these guys that want to talk to me and I just can't do it. I can't bring myself to talk to another guy without thinking they are gonna hurt me. 😔

This advice is very good. Having been through a breakup after 23 years, as every breakup is different

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