Betrayal causes anger and grief. And like anything that is upsetting, betrayal hurts deeply and recovery can take a significant time. You may never forgive the person who betrayed you but you shouldn’t let it take a hold on your life. Recovery is possible and you can move on.
The first tip for how to deal with betrayal is to not let it sit inside you with nowhere to go. The best way to get past it is to talk it through, either with the person who has betrayed you or with friends and family who are there and want to help. Physically verbalizing your pain can sometimes help you to see it in a different way, and you might come up with solutions to set yourself on the road to recovery just by letting others know how you are feeling.
One of the worst things you can do with regards to betrayal is to shove the truth deep down inside yourself and act as if nothing has happened. Denial is unhealthy and definitely not the way to go if you want to recover from the shock and hurt of the initial discovery. All denial is going to do is put your emotions on the back burner to come out at a later time, probably even stronger than before.
Similar to how sharing your feelings can help you to recover, you don’t want to shut yourself away and wallow in your own sadness for too long. Not having any contact with the outside world in this time of distress could lead to your problems compounding and feeling even bigger than they are. Stay in touch with the real world to keep a little focus and perspective.
Your self confidence is something that can really help you get through a tough patch like being betrayed, so when you are feeling particularly down, force yourself to do things that you know you are good at or that you know will make you feel good. For many people this can be mood-boosting exercise, for others it might be a little retail therapy.
Busy yourself by doing things that you really love, whether it’s going out with friends a few extra nights a week, having an all day marathon at the local movie theatre or throwing yourself in to the work that you enjoy,. Stay active and do what you love in order to take your mind off more negative emotions.
Anger is a common and understandable emotion to harbor when you have been betrayed by someone that you loved or trusted. On the flip side it can also be a really damaging emotion for you personally if you end up reacting in a way that could have consequences later down the line. You should try to never make decisions out of anger, because it’s likely they will not have the best results when the red mist has cleared.
Forgiving a betrayer is probably one of the hardest things for an adult to do, and whilst you may feel like you want to hold a grudge forever, this really only affects you in terms of your recovery process. If you forgive somebody, it means you no longer have to think about the betrayal, which in turn will guide you towards a happier place in life.
Have you ever been stung by betrayal? Did you ever forgive and did you manage to move on?
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