Around this time of year, staying connected to your lover can be troubling. If it’s both of your summers at university, a gap year adventure or just a family holiday, you may be finding yourself in a sticky situation. I know before I went away for summer, I was bombarded with questions and doubts as to whether my relationship would last. At the time, I was confused and rather insulted that these people would even think this. However, when the time came for me to leave I had the sudden realization of how hard this was going to be. So, here are a few tips and tricks that will hopefully make you stay sane and stay connected when you or your lover is travelling.
Even if one or both of you can’t communicate all day long there are many ways to send a picture to your loved one. Even though many people say that technology is a threat to relationships, in this case you can totally use it to your advantage. Apps such as Snapchat, iMessage and bbm aid this method of communication. I love receiving pictures of their day, even if it’s a picture of their cat or a grumpy face as they are working. There’s nothing better than knowing that someone is thinking of you.
2. Something Special
Think of all the inside jokes and conversations that are personal to you and then use that to cheer them up, even if it’s mentioning it when they are down. Even knowing that they like tulips and sending them a surprise bunch is lovely. It works for both of you: you will be concentrating on what to get them and then when they do receive it, they will feel loved and thought of. It’s a win win really.
You will get to the point in the vacation where there isn’t much more to say to your partner that would last hours of phone calls, so texting is a really good way of still communicating and thinking of each other for a long time yet having a few minutes to think of the next topic to say. This also means that you can save the really important things for your phone calls and treat them as if they are more special. Plus when you’re missing them and unable to speak, you can reread your messages.
Even though texting is a great way of communicating, there is nothing like being able to see or hear your loved one. However, it is unrealistic to think that you will be able to call or video chat all of the time, as you both still need to get on with your life and the day ahead, so that you can sustaining a healthy relationship. Why not allocate certain times of the day? You could see it as like having a date.
I know that when a gift or letter arrives at my door, I feel like a kid and get really excited. Why not go online and look at gift ideas for a long distance relationship? For example, a series of envelopes that say ‘open when … you are missing me,’ etc. Therefore, when you are not there or cannot be contacted, your lover will still have a way to feel like everything is going to be okay.
6. Showing That You Think of Them
It is impractical to be there at every minute of the day and you shouldn’t expect this of your partner either. Maybe when you know that they can’t get to the phone, send them a sweet message or picture that they will find later. Or even just tell them how much you think about them, or the silly moments when you thought of them, moments that no one else would get but the two of you. This keeps the intimacy of the relationship alive.
This is probably one of the hardest things to achieve. You will have your good days and your bad days. On your good days, you will still miss them but on your bad days you may even doubt how it will work out for that amount of time. Try finding a way to limit the bad days. I know talking about how I feel with my partner helps and having a calendar to cross off the days till you next see each other is helpful as well. Giving yourself a list of tasks keeps you occupied and, therefore, doesn’t leave you in a state of fear and doubt.
All you have to remember is that this isn’t a permanent situation, you’re going to be back with your lover. To even consider having a long distance relationship, they must be pretty special. What do you find helpful when you're missing your lover?