Watching your ex move on after you split is painful. He may start dating other girls, or simply seem perfectly happy without you - and that hurts. But if you have friends in common and move in the same circles, you're going to have to come to terms with it all. Here's how to cope with your ex moving on …
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1. Don't Try to Get His Attention
However much you want to shout 'Look at me!' and show your ex what he's missing, don't try to get his attention. You'll just look desperate and upset yourself even more. Besides, you're not in a competition with other girls; if he doesn't want to be with you and wants to date someone else, that's his choice.
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This article is about how to cope when your ex moves on to someone else. It is essential to remember to not try to get his attention in this situation. Doing so will only make you look desperate and won't help the situation. It is important to remember that you are not in competition with anyone else and that your ex's decision to move on is his choice. It is important to focus on yourself and your own healing during this difficult time. It is also helpful to talk to friends and family for support, and to find healthy outlets such as exercise, art, and journaling to help you process your emotions.
2. He's a Free Agent
It feel so upsetting when you see your ex move on, but you don't own him. He's a free agent, and can do what he likes and see who he likes. He chose not to continue in a relationship with you, and you need to respect that. He has his reasons, and they don't mean that you're undesirable.
3. It Will Hurt - but You'll Survive
It's hard enough when you split up with your partner, so when you find out that he's dating again that's even worse - especially if it hasn't been long since you split up. So feeling upset or insulted is perfectly normal, though he's not trying to hurt you (and if he is, he's a douche). Accept that it will hurt, and that you'll get through the painful stage and move on.
4. Don't Rush into Dating Again - Wait until You're Ready
When you realise that your ex has moved on and started dating again, it's tempting to rush out and find yourself a new boyfriend to show that you can find someone new as well. But you shouldn't rush into a new relationship, as rebounds rarely work. Wait until you're really ready to date again, otherwise it's not fair on you or the new guy.
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5. It's Not Personal
When you hear that your ex has already moved on, you probably wail 'But what's wrong with me?!' Well, not a thing. It's not personal. The fact that he's dating again doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you, just that it didn't work out between the two of you. It may or may not work out with his new girlfriend, but that's their business.
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6. Don't Obsess over Him
Are you poring over his Facebook page and scrutinising every message for clues about his new relationship. Stop doing that. You're torturing yourself and making it harder to come to terms with your newly single status. Don't obsess about what he's doing and who he's doing it with.
7. Get on with Your Own Life
Rather than trying to cling on to the past, concentrate on getting on with your own life. Focus on doing things that you enjoy, rebuilding your self-esteem, and feeling positive. Whether you like it or not, you need to move on yourself and accept that the relationship is over.
In time, the pain will disappear and you'll stop thinking about him. And you shouldn't blame yourself for the relationship not working out - it happens, and it's nobody's fault. Relationships are complicated!
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Comments
Sasa: Divorced. And my ex has moved on with a woman and has married. Today was his birthday. I texted him happy birthday and he didn't respond. That's when I decided, I need to move on. It's not easy but it is feasible. Today I made a decision not to look back.
AjM: @Paris really sorry to hear you're going through this too. It's just difficult to accept as he left me with nothing not even an explanation just actions of a coward. After 4 yrs I would have thought he would of had the decency to even say anything. Oh well... Here's to us & our new found independence! :)
Jessica: It's all surface stuff when you look closer you see the cracks! I on the other hand I have paid off my debts gone on a cruise have become a better person and turned down relationship offers all because I can. I'm amazing and so are you!
Jessica: But you know what, that trip was for work, he would have gotten and old second hand car because his afraid of spending money and him and his new girlfriend would be worried that the other one is cheating.
Lala: Breaking up is hard. I guess I just lost the love of my life and will never get him back.
AjM: @Paris You're 100% right on everything you've just said. I'm definitely on an emotional roller coaster right now, up then down. And to think he's done this before and i took him back coz i thought every deserves a second chance, i'm a love fool. Also to top this off he works within my workplace but obviously hiding his arse, aargh the drama. Thanks again for the great advice!
Leah_new: I can't repost this enough! I really needed this!
Nolay: Seems like everyone's going through a breakup 😥
Ashley: This post couldn't come into my life at a better time!! Going through a divorce right now and we aren't looking for anyone else right now out of the respect of one another but once everything is finalized it will be much harder to see him dating someone else! 😑
myranda_flores: Just found out that my ex (he broke up with me three months ago after our two and a half year relationship) has a new girlfriend. I know they met over the summer while we were still together, and I don't think he cheated on me but still isn't it pretty fast? I don't know what to think, all I know is that I'm heartbroken all over again. :(
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