How to Turn Him down without Hurting Him ...

It's so awkward when you're asked out by someone you're not interested in. You don't want to turn him down for fear of hurting him - who likes to be rejected? But there's no sense in dating someone you're not interested in, and honesty is better for both of you. Here's how to turn someone down tactfully and without hurting their feelings …

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Don't Give Him False Hope

Don't give a guy false hope and let him think that a date is on the cards if you're really not keen. Avoid saying things like "I'm not ready for a relationship right now", as that could encourage him to hang around until you are ready for one. He needs to know that it's just not going to happen.

Avoid Lying - It Could Rebound on You

Nor is it wise to lie in an attempt to be kind. This could easily rebound on you. If you make out you're dating, and he finds out you're not actually seeing anyone. It's going to be more hurtful than flat out telling him you're not interested in going out with him. Do you really want to deal with an upset and offended guy who's found out you were making up excuses?

Be Honest, but Be Kind

While it's better to be honest with him, you should still turn him down tactfully and sensitively. If he's not your physical type, fair enough - we all have our preferences. But don't say "you're too short/ I prefer blond guys / I'm not attracted to balding guys". That kind of comment is personal, and there's no need to be rude about his looks.

Say No, and Stick to It

Some guys are very persistent and think that if they keep on they'll wear you down. That's not very sensitive of them, and you shouldn't give in to their determination. If you're not interested, that's how it is. You're not going to magically become keen on them because you go on a date. Stick to your guns - say no, and mean it.

You Appreciate the Offer, but No

Nobody likes being turned down, so do it with tact. Tell him you appreciate the offer, but no thanks. You don't have to explain why you don't want to go on a date with him; a refusal should be enough. Thank him for the invitation, but don't feel obliged to accept just because he's bought tickets or booked a restaurant. That's his problem!

Famous Quotes

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.

Bruce Lee

You'd Love to Go out … but Only as Friends

If you like him as a person, but don't see him as boyfriend material, consider going out with him as friends. There is the risk that he might think he can convert a friendship to a relationship. But some guys can get over the fact that you don't want to date them, and be perfectly content with seeing you as friends.

Don't Say Yes Thinking One Date Will Be OK

If you really don't want to date a guy, don't agree to go out with him in the hope that he might lose interest after a date. He's not likely to be put off once he's been on a date with you; if anything, he'll probably get even more keen on you once you've been on an official date.

Have you ever met someone who just won't take no for an answer? How did you deal with it?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

I was set up with the brother of an acquaintance. We went out 2x & I knew I was not interested in a third date. But was so awkward to say I did not feel a connection especially since my acquaintance was so excited for us to meet. Fortunately he was understanding.

Easier than done. Some guys are so persistent that it gets scary. I Stickney a wedding ring and they back off and the ones that don't I show them the ring and they apologise and leave you alone. Tiring though.

My best friend liked this guy and she wanted me to talk to him to ask if he liked her, he said no but I wasn't convinced, so I just started talking to him because he is my friend and all. So on Monday I went to school and told my other best friend the messages, and she thinks I'm leading him on, so eventually I got him to text my best friend, I practically had to beg him to. And my and my other best friend compared the messages between me and him and him and my best friend, they were completely different and me and my other best friend connected all the dots and signs (like obvious ones, we weren't making up) that he liked me. And I felt completely torn because it felt like I needed to tell her because I only liked him as a friend I was just being nice. And so we told her eventually and things cooled down a bit and now it's summer and me and him are still friends and last night texting we were talking bout movies and then I suggested we had a movie night just for fun, and then he asked if it would just be me and him and I said yeah it would be fun! And now I'm thinking it isn't the best to because then I'm definitely leading him on, and now I feel really guilty because I don't like him that way I like another guy, and I'm the type of person that feels sooo guilty even turning down hanging out with friends, like I don't know how to say it to him because he is like the sweetest guy ever, like one of the guys you never wanna hurt and I feel so torn rn because I can't tell my friend because she'll be pissed at me(my other best friend) and she'll be so disappointed and I hate disappointing people, and I regret saying anything about a movie night, I was just trying to be nice because he is my friend after all. What should I do I am so confused???!!

I took a line from the TV show,"Just Shoot Me," & said,"Since we don't care about each other, I can't see you anymore." It's a two-way street.

Dealing with someone like that right now! I've told him i am not interested in a relationship but he just doesn't give up. It's actually very annoying!

Dealing with that type of a person rn, I've refused to go with him at least 30 times, but he just won't take NO for an answer.. It's absolutely annoying

uuuugh yesssss. i finally got pissed when he deliberately caused the man i DO want to think i was seeing someone else. still hasn't worked though, he keeps buggin, i keep blocking. at this point, we cannot even be friends.

If the "let's be friends" comment is followed by "you can't place our relationship in a box when we could always explore possibilities for more" comment, he got that one straight out of the book: "The Game: How to be a Pick Up Artist". Be aware.

Dealing with someone like that right now actually. I've made it clear all I want is friendship but he doesn't get it and I have seriously considered just cutting him off completely. Sometimes it's better that way when they don't get the message the first 100 times.

I've been saying NO to my best friend for like 9years,I'm still dealing with it, every time I say no I feel horrible but he just don't want to understand it, some guys are really crazy

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