There are many important things to consider before moving in with your boyfriend. Thinking of taking the plunge? Take a second to evaluate your thoughts, plans and reasons so that you surely go into it with a full heart! It can seem daunting, economically sound, fun, romantic - it can seem to be quite a lot of things! But get to the heart of it and think things through. Here are seven things to consider before moving in with your boyfriend.
1. Is It Serious?
Okay, hands down, one of the very first things to consider before moving in with your boyfriend is how serious the relationship really is between the two of you. Are you in love with one another, or are you moving in for convenience and monetary ease? If it’s the only way you two can be together - say, you moved to another state - make sure it’s for all the right reasons. It’s time to move in together if you’re both serious about the relationship and want to commit to making it work in the long-term.
2. Do You Trust One Another?
It’s important to consider how much you trust one another, too. If one in the couple has trust issues, the untrusted will not have very much fun. By living together, you’re sharing your life and habits … you have to be okay with seeing him leave the house without you or letting him do his own things on his own time! Ultimate trust is important when moving in together. And don’t be fooled - trust will not come easy when you have a home-base together and can watch his comings-and-goings (or vice versa!). Trust must be built - and possibly tested - beforehand.
3. Have You Had a Fight?
Trust plays perfectly into thinking about whether the two of you have had a big fight together. If you have, you are closer to being ready! It’s important to know that you two can create an understanding from conflict, and learn from one another. It’s also important to have your “fight resolution tactics” in mind. Do you need to step away from a situation from time to time and come back to it later? Do you two have a funny word you yell out when things are getting too intense? Or do you prefer to discuss an argument over a single glass of wine? Consider your tactics as a couple, and make sure you put them into play.
4. How Will Money and Chores Work?
It’s also good to figure out how the money and chores will be split between the two of you before you have bills coming in both of your names. Just like living with any roommates, it’s important to figure out how you want to set up the division of labor. Before moving in, figure out how you split rent, bills and groceries - and exactly what you will do to split them. Will you keep a list of spendings or decide that you may get groceries and bills while he gets rent? Also, figure out how chores will work. This is especially important if you and him have different habits when it comes to being tidy or clean! Will you two take turns, clean the house all together or divide it up by “rooms of responsibility”? Sounds silly, but these are great things to y discuss before moving in together.
5. Are You Willing to Compromise?
If you are going to live with your boyfriend, you have to be willing to compromise. Make sure that the two of you are both able to live the way you want to live, while being fair to one another. Living in close quarters with someone else means putting up with some small things that you typically may not like or be used to handling. His shows on T.V. on Sunday nights? Dirty socks on the floor? You’ll really have to pick your battles and be willing to compromise if you’re going to live together happily. It can even be about small, trivial things! My boyfriend knew I was willing to compromise when I stopped complaining about his funky Blues Brothers photo poster in the living room!
6. Do You Know Your Weaknesses?
It’s key to consider your weaknesses before moving in, both as a couple and individuals. What parts of you are sort of different or tough to handle? Do you have a ton of hair products or a quick temper? As a couple, are you prone to fighting when you’re both starving? Know your weaknesses as much as your strengths, and admit to them. Be open to one another about what you think your weaknesses may be, and you’ll be able to identify them when necessary and always press forward.
7. Do You Know What You Love?
Of course, it’s also great to keep top-of-mind what you love about one another! These little loves and quirks will keep you happy in the toughest of times. Remember them, and cherish the fact that you love this person for all that he is! If you can’t easily identify personality traits and even character flaws that you actually love about your guy, you may need to take a step back and hold on. Moving in together doesn’t just mean having more time to jam together and do the things you love. It also means loving one another in your most uncomfortable of states - your darkest and dirtiest, so to speak! If you can’t reconcile his insanely annoying toothpick habit after eating with some other quirk you love about him, give it a little more time!
Think things through and you’ll be ready to live and love in a happy home! What other things come to mind before moving in? Do share!