7 Important Things to Remember when You Can't Find "the One" ...

By Heather

7 Important Things to Remember when You Can't Find "the One" ...

For all you single chicks out there like me, there's no need to fret when you can’t find “the one” for you by a certain age. The perfect guy takes time to find sometimes, and that isn’t always a bad thing! Finding the right one for you make take a little weeding. You know what I mean, right? Weeding through the shrubs and thorns to get to the roses? Keep these important things below in mind when you can’t find “the one”, and hold your pretty little head up high!

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1

You’re Single for a Reason

The first thing to keep in mind when you can’t find “the one” is to remember you’re single for a reason, good or bad. This isn’t a knock towards you; it’s just the truth. Perhaps you’re not into the dating scene and aren’t putting yourself out there. Hun, he’s not going to come knocking at your door! Join a club, do something within a hobby you enjoy, take a new class, or if you’re brave enough, try online dating. If you’re already into the dating scene and still running up short, remember, there is a reason you haven’t found someone yet. It could because the right one just hasn’t found his way into your life yet, it’s not the right time for you to be in a relationship, or you’re hanging out at social places that don’t necessarily emit “the perfect one” atmosphere. I personally don’t believe in hanging out in bars and clubs to find the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with, but that’s just me!

2

You’re Afraid of Intimacy

Maybe you’re not scared of dating, but it seems to stop there. You shy away from getting close to someone, or letting someone in. Even if you don’t realize you’re doing this, it will keep you from finding the guy of your dreams- and very quickly at that. Opening yourself up to a serious relationship is scary stuff, but it is the only way you’ll ever really find “the one”.

3

Better to Wait than to Worry

When waiting for the right one to come along, remember that waiting is much better than worrying about when you’ll find him, or spending all your time with someone you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with and worrying about that. If you’re with a guy you know isn’t the one for you, and worried about how to handle things, be honest with him and yourself. You can’t really find the one until you let go of someone holding you back from doing that. If you’re single and still lonely, remember it’s better to wait than to worry. Just enjoy the process and quit worrying so much.

4

Don’t Worry What Others Think

When you’re nearly 30 and go to a family dinner, trust me, everyone always wants to know, “Have you met anyone yet?” For the 100th time, no I haven’t, and I’m actually fine with it. Get used to friends and family questioning you about this. They think it’s their job, and it doesn’t mean you’ll die alone just because another Thanksgiving has arrived and you have to break their hearts and tell them you’re still single. The world will move on and they will adapt. Don’t worry what anyone else thinks.

5

Your Eggs Are Fine

How many of you have heard that your fertile eggs start dying at a certain age? Many women freak out over this if they haven’t found the right one. They fear of getting old and never having kids or a family. Girl, you’ve got to let your timeline go! I’d rather wait until I was 50 years old if that meant finding the one that I was meant to truly love. Don’t rush your heart away in the process, and by the way, your eggs are fine for now!

Famous Quotes

If you would take, you must first give, this is the beginning of intelligence.

Laozi
6

He Might Be Closer than You Think

Have you ever considered on your search for the perfect guy that he might be closer than you think? It’s true! Your dream guy could be just around the corner and you don’t even know it. Or, he might even be someone you just thought was a friend. Consider all the relationships in your life with men right now. Do any have a possible chance of going anywhere past friendship? It’s something to ponder on when looking for the right guy out there.

7

You Deserve to Wait

Everyone probably already tells you this, but I had to add it for good measure. You deserve to wait just a little bit longer if it means you’ll find the right guy later. Don’t spend your life with someone to fill a void, and remember to put yourself out there. Then, after that, wait until truly the right one does come along.

If you’re single like me, do you worry about finding the right one? I don’t because I know it’s worth the wait. Sure, I don’t want to be alone forever, but I no longer fear not getting married by the time I’m 30. What about you? How do you deal with not finding “the one”?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

I'm 23 and although I know I am young it is still hard for me. I have always been the single girl in my group and all my girlfriends are either married with kids or engaged. All my sisters are married with kids too. What is helping me is focusing on my goals and career. It's easier to accomplish these things and travel when I am not tied down.

@kimberly I agree! I have been single for a year & ppl ask when I'll be with some one or why I'm not ready yet and well when u have been with some one for three years and then it ends it takes time to start all over agian but just like you I'm focusing on school & finding my career, preparing myself for the future. Eventually the right one will come along but sometimes I feel like 3rd wheel When I go out w/ friends or I go out alone and feel like a loner lol

It really made me feel better there's this guy in my class how I like jack smith but he already has a girlfriend and every time Iam a near him and she walks by she says jack and points to her lips. There is another guy I think he likes me but I don't know what sings to look for what should I do please give me advice .

@Magali, I like your mindset but don't u get tired of being alone?

I signed up for a dating site in 2009 just looking for good chats, talked to sooo many guys and girls! I met a few guys, but they were just good fun and one of them was really easy to get along with and he made me the happiest.. At the end of 2010 i caught up with him again and realised that i really liked him and in 2011 i asked him how he felt about me.. I'm so glad i had the guts to ask him out, i waited 20 years to find someone and it was so worth the wait, love comes when you least expect it! Don't give up!

Stop looking for the "one"... Be open to the possibility of love in general, I guarantee in time he will come.

I want to find someone when I'm done getting my bachelors, I'm not ridiculously desperate or super lonely. Plus good things come to those who wait. :) I don't really like the people who have a bf/gf just to say they have one.

I hate getting the "where is the boyfriend?" question and it sucks when you start hearing about people you knew & grew up with all getting engaged, married, having children. This past week about 5 people I know got engaged, married or had their first child. It's a bit discouraging but I'm optimistic enough to think that all this waiting will have a great and rewarding payoff...hopefully.

I love this!

@Aya, I feel like that too.

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