More Men Should Know These Things about Sex with a Woman ...

Lyndsie

More Men Should Know These Things  about Sex with a Woman ...
More Men Should Know These Things  about Sex with a Woman ...

Yeah, that title is a misnomer kind of, so let's correct that right now: there are things more people should know about how to please a woman. My friend Steve asked me about this question, “on behalf of gay men,” at which point his husband Gary gave him the best look I have ever seen anyone give anybody else, and thus this post was born. I'll grant you, as a woman married to a woman, that women frequently know how to please other women quite naturally, but that isn't always the case. So, this is for all the women, men, and everyone in between who wishes to know about sex with a woman – how to arouse her, how to please her, and how to get her off.

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1

Respect Her

Respect Her There's nothing more arousing than respect. There's nothing sexier than respect. I can't speak for all women, nor would I try, but I believe that many of us have a difficult time getting aroused by anyone who blatantly disrespects women. Am I right?

***

Respecting a woman extends beyond just saying the right things; it's about genuinely valuing her thoughts, her choices, and her entire being. Paying attention to her comfort levels, and seeking her enthusiastic consent, is not only fundamental but incredibly attractive. Real arousal starts with a connection that is built on mutual respect and understanding, which can make the physical experience so much more intense for both partners. In the end, seeing her as an equal partner in pleasure can lead to a much richer and more fulfilling sexual encounter.

2

Make Sure You Have Her Consent

Make Sure You Have Her Consent I just feel like this needs to be said. I think it needs to be repeated in any discussion about sex. Male or female, always make sure you have your partner's full consent. Don't proceed without it. If your partner isn't a position to consent, then always assume that she doesn't want to have sex with you.

***

Consent is the foundational pillar in any sexual encounter. It's all about respect and communication. Always remember that no means no and silence or passivity is never an implicit yes. Check in regularly with your partner to ensure they’re comfortable and engaged. Anything less than an enthusiastic "yes" is a no-go territory. Cultivating a clear understanding of consent creates a healthier and infinitely more satisfying experience for both parties.

3

Listen to Her

Listen to Her Talk to her about what she likes, especially if you aren't sure. Sex isn't a guessing game. You shouldn't keep trying new techniques until you hit Orgasm Bingo. In fact...

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Sex is an important and intimate part of any relationship, and it is important for men to understand what women need in order to have a satisfying sexual experience.

First and foremost, it is essential to listen to her. Talk to her about what she likes and what turns her on, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Women often need more time and stimulation to reach orgasm, so it’s important to take your time and be patient.

It’s also important to understand that women can have different kinds of orgasms. Clitoral stimulation is the most common way for women to reach orgasm, but some women can also have orgasms through G-spot stimulation or even through fantasy alone. So, it is important to explore different kinds of stimulation and find out what works best for her.

Foreplay is also important for women. Women need time to get aroused and get in the mood for sex, so it is important to spend time on foreplay to make sure she is ready. Kissing, caressing, and massaging are all great ways to get her aroused and ready for sex.

4

Ask Her What She Likes

Ask Her What She Likes Novel idea, right? Not every woman is comfortable answering this question right away, but it never hurts to ask. Wouldn't it be awful to dive right in and start playing with a woman's nipples, only to find out that they're really sensitive and it hurts her?

***

When it comes to sex with a woman, it is important to remember that communication is key. No two women are the same and it is important to ask her what she likes and what she doesn’t. This is especially important when it comes to foreplay and sexual activities. For example, some women may like their nipples to be touched or kissed, while others may find it too sensitive. Asking her what she likes and what she doesn’t will help to ensure that you both have a pleasurable experience.

It is also important to understand that a woman’s body is different than a man’s and that the way she experiences pleasure may be different. For example, some women may require more stimulation and longer foreplay before they reach orgasm. Women may also have different responses to different types of touch. Some women may find light touch more pleasurable while others may prefer more intense stimulation.

In addition to understanding what a woman likes, it is important to pay attention to her body language. If a woman is uncomfortable, it is important to respect her wishes and stop any activity that she does not enjoy. Paying attention to her body language can also help to ensure that she is enjoying the experience.

5

Ignore the Porn Temptation

Ignore the Porn Temptation No, I'm not saying don't watch porn or don't ask her to watch it with you, I mean ignore the temptation to treat your real life sex like it's a porno. Most women don't react like that for real, and no, sorry, all the jackhammering in the world isn't going to get most of us off.

***

Porn is often a distorted mirror of reality, a fantasy land where everything is exaggerated and over-the-top. Real sex isn't a series of scripted scenes—it's a nuanced and personal experience. It's essential to tune into your partner's desires and reactions, rather than imitating what you've seen on screen. Remember, intimacy and pleasure come from connection and understanding, not from perfecting moves you think are expected of you. Every woman is unique, so what works in porn may not necessarily work for her—communication is your real key to satisfaction.

6

Don't Neg Her to Get Her into Bed

Don't Neg Her to Get Her into Bed The idea of negging – putting down a woman in some way so that she seeks your approval – is baffling. I know some of you out there will insist that it works, and that's cool, I guess, but it doesn't make you look like a cool guy and few women get turned on by being put down, you know?

***

Negging is a strategy that smacks of insecurity and manipulation. Just imagine how it feels to be on the receiving end. You wouldn't appreciate someone using backhanded compliments to undermine your self-confidence, right? Genuine connections are built on mutual respect and kindness, not on one-upmanship. Besides, most women can see right through such ploys and are likely to walk away from a guy who can't engage in a sincere conversation. Be genuine, compliment her honestly, and treat her with the respect she deserves; it's a much better foundation for any kind of relationship.

7

Become BFFs with Foreplay

Become BFFs with Foreplay Cannot stress this enough. Foreplay takes all forms, but it's so important. You have to prime the pump before you get any water. Find out what type of foreplay your lover enjoys and make the most of it. Some women love making out, others go wild when you nibble their ears, the sides of their neck, or their inner elbows. For some women, stimulating conversation counts as foreplay. Every woman is different but however she likes it, the payoff is huge.

***

Foreplay is essential for a woman to reach orgasm. It helps to relax her body and mind, and to prepare her for a more pleasurable sexual experience. Foreplay can include anything from kissing, caressing, and talking, to light bondage and massage. It is important to find out what type of foreplay your partner enjoys, as this will help you to give her the best experience possible.

Foreplay can also help to increase feelings of intimacy between partners. It can help to build trust and connection, and can be an important part of maintaining a healthy relationship. This is especially true if one partner has a higher sex drive than the other.

Foreplay is also important for men. It can help to reduce performance anxiety and help men last longer during sex. It can also help to increase pleasure for both partners, as the anticipation of sex can create a stronger connection and more intense sensations.

In addition to physical foreplay, there is also mental foreplay. This can include flirting, teasing, and talking about sex. This can help to build desire and anticipation, which can lead to more enjoyable sex.

8

Make the Acquaintance of the Clitoris

Make the Acquaintance of the Clitoris Let's talk about the clitoris a little. In fact, let's talk about the clitoris a lot. Sometimes she's shy, sometimes she's very outgoing, but she always loves attention. The clitoris is a key ingredient in the female orgasm. Some women can climax without clitoral stimulation, but most of us need our clits touched if we want to cum.

***

The clitoris is an incredibly important part of the female sexual experience. It is the only organ in the human body that exists solely for pleasure, and it contains more nerve endings than any other part of the body. It is located at the top of the vulva, and is often referred to as the “love button” because of its sensitivity.

When it comes to pleasuring a woman, the clitoris should be given special attention. It is often said that the clitoris is the key to unlocking the female orgasm. Many women need clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm, and some women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation.

When stimulating the clitoris, it is important to take your time and be gentle. Start by lightly caressing the area, and gradually increase pressure and speed as desired. There are many different techniques that can be used to stimulate the clitoris, such as using your fingers, tongue, or sex toys. Experimenting with different techniques can help you find what works best for your partner.

9

Now, Learn How to Treat Her Right

Now, Learn How to Treat Her Right Every clitoris is different. Some of them love a firm, almost rough touch. Others prefer gentle, feathery stroking. Still others need something in between. Get in touch with your girl's clitoris – for real. Find out what she likes. Talk to her about her hopes and dreams.

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Understanding her pleasure is key to creating a truly intimate experience. Every woman is a unique symphony of desires and preferences. Engage in open and honest dialogue about what turns her on, encouraging a space where she feels safe and empowered to express her needs without judgement. Remember, it's not just about the destination but the journey—take your time exploring and appreciating her body. Respect her boundaries, always, and know that sexual satisfaction is a two-way street paved with care, understanding, and continuous learning.

10

Keep Your Focus There

Keep Your Focus There Nope, we're not done talking Ms. Clit yet. That's where you need to focus your attention, whether you're giving your lover a little oral pleasure or some digital action. Circle it, stroke it, lick it, suckle it, but make sure you pay proper attention.

***

When it comes to pleasuring a woman, it’s important for men to keep their focus on the clitoris. The clitoris is a small, sensitive organ located at the top of the vulva, and is the primary source of sexual pleasure for women. When stimulated, it can produce intense sensations and even orgasm.

The clitoris is packed with nerve endings, which is why it can be so pleasurable when stimulated. It is usually located about two to three inches above the opening of the vagina and can be felt as a small bump or nub. It is usually covered by a hood of skin, which can be pulled back to expose the clitoris.

When stimulating the clitoris, it is important to pay proper attention to it. This means taking the time to explore the area and find out what kind of touch and pressure the woman enjoys. Different women enjoy different types of stimulation, so it is important to take the time to find out what works best for the individual.

11

Be Gentle, Though

Be Gentle, Though I know, I know, we already covered how some women may like it hard while others prefer it soft. This point still bears repeating because the clit gets very sensitive, just like the penis – especially just after an orgasm. Start slowly to see what she likes. Don't go straight for the head of the clitoris right away. Ease your way into it instead.

***

When engaged in passionate encounters, communication is your best friend. Listen to her body's responses and her verbal cues. Experiment with different types of touches—circular motions, light flicks, or gentle pulsing pressure can lead to a range of pleasurable sensations. Remember that the journey is just as important as the destination. The clit, much like the rest of her body, craves variety and sensitivity to touch. Treat it with the same care you would want for yourself, and you'll both discover new heights of ecstasy.

12

Take Her to Infinity

Take Her to Infinity So, there's this technique. Some people call it the Figure-8, some people call it the Infinity – whatever works for you. The technique itself is the same by any name: when you're going down on a woman, work your tongue around the clit and the area around it using a figure-8 pattern. As the clit swells with arousal, play with it, suck it, expose it, flick it with your tongue, and then go back to a firm, pressing figure-8 pattern. You're welcome.

***

When it comes to pleasuring a woman during sex, it is important to know the technique known as the Figure-8 or Infinity. This technique involves using your tongue to stimulate the clitoris and the area around it in a figure-8 pattern. This pattern should be both firm and pressing. As the clitoris swells with arousal, it is important to continue to play with it, suck it, expose it and flick it with your tongue.

In addition to the Figure-8/Infinity technique, there are other ways to pleasure a woman during sex. For example, it is important to be aware of the importance of foreplay. Foreplay can involve touching, caressing, kissing and licking, as well as using toys and other props. Additionally, it is important to pay attention to the woman’s responses to your touch and adjust accordingly.

It is also important to create an atmosphere that is conducive to pleasure. This can involve setting the mood with music, lighting, and scents. Additionally, it is important to make sure that the woman feels safe and comfortable. This can involve giving her compliments, talking to her, and engaging in verbal consent.

13

But Don't Forget the Fingers

But Don't Forget the Fingers Finger play is still welcome, it simply won't make most women climax on its own. A well-placed, well-timed finger or two, however, can take things from awesome to OH MY GOD quite quickly indeed.

***

When it comes to sexual pleasure, it is important for men to understand that women's bodies respond differently than men's. Finger play is a great way to stimulate a woman's pleasure points, but it is not enough to bring most women to climax. Women's bodies are complex and require more stimulation than just fingers.

The clitoris is the most sensitive area for women and it is important for men to understand how to properly stimulate it. When it comes to the clitoris, light, gentle touches are best. Start with light strokes and circles, and gradually increase pressure as the woman indicates that she enjoys it. It is important to pay attention to her body language and verbal cues to ensure that she is enjoying the stimulation.

The G-spot is another area of the female body that can be a source of pleasure. It is located about 2-3 inches inside the vagina and can be stimulated with a “come hither” motion. It is important to be gentle and use lubrication when stimulating the G-spot, as it can be a sensitive area.

14

Familiarize Yourself with Her Erogenous Zones

Familiarize Yourself with Her Erogenous Zones These are the hottest hot spots on the body and paying them homage takes things to the next level. Some of them are universal, but you have to remember that they're not relegated to just breasts and genitals. The woman you're with might go nuts if you lick the back of her neck, nibble her earlobe, or suck her toes. That's why it pays to know.

15

Don't Neglect the Labia

Don't Neglect the Labia The vaginal lips hardly ever get attention, which is a real shame. They're full of sizzling little nerve endings and it's easy to take advantage of that. A little rubbing, massaging, kneading, kissing, nibbling, and licking … well, find out for yourself just how well all that goes over.

***

The sensitivity varies from woman to woman, so communication and observation are key. Watch for her reactions as you explore -- a soft moan or an arching back can guide your technique. Don't be afraid to ask her what feels good, too. A light touch often goes a long way; overstimulation isn't necessary to ignite pleasure here. Remember, a little patience mixed with gentle exploration can elevate the experience from good to mind-blowing. And as with any intimate act, consent and comfort are paramount, so proceed with tenderness and care.

16

Go on a Search for the G-spot

Go on a Search for the G-spot This is so important. So, so, so important. Stimulating the G-spot is another way to ensure an orgasm, as long as you're willing to seek it out. It's easier to find it using your fingers – insert one or two fingers into the vagina, with your palm and your fingertips pointing upward. You're feeling for ridges along the top of the vagina, where some exploratory rubbing promises to serve you well and to please her immensely.

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Take your time as you navigate this territory; every woman is different. Once you think you've found that somewhat spongy area, apply gentle but firm pressure. Experiment with the angle and pressure, observing her responses to figure out what feels best. Communication is key, so make sure to check in and ask for feedback. This exploration can be an exciting journey for both of you, enhancing intimacy and bringing a deeper level of pleasure to your sexual experiences together.

17

Or Stimulate It during Sex

Or Stimulate It during Sex Stimulating the G-spot during penetrative sex is a little harder but definitely not impossible. Doing it doggy-style is a surefire way to hit a woman's G-spot. Mind, this works with a penis, a vibrator, a dildo, a strap-on, anything. The key is to pull her back toward you every time you thrust into her. Hold her by the hips for better leverage and try angling your hips upward a bit every time you enter her.

***

When exploring the terrain of your partner's pleasure, communication is key. Ask her what feels good and what doesn't. Remember that every woman's body is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. If doggy-style doesn't do the trick, try the coital alignment technique (CAT) where you're in a more missionary-like position but with your body shifted up. This allows your pelvis to rub against her clitoris while you're inside her, potentially hitting that G-spot with every move. Remember, patience and attention to her responses can unlock a treasure trove of pleasure.

18

Don't Fear the Toys

Don't Fear the Toys Why not get creative and adventurous? Don't be threatened by the inclusion of toys. Experimenting with a vibrator, beads, or even some fun lube can make all the difference, and she might need a little something extra to really let go.

***

Men should understand that sex with a woman can be an incredibly enjoyable experience. It is important to remember that women often need more than just physical pleasure to have a satisfying sexual experience. Women often need to feel emotionally connected to their partner in order to really let go and enjoy their sexual experience.

This is where toys can come in. Toys can provide an additional layer of pleasure and excitement that can help a woman to really let go and enjoy the experience. Toys such as vibrators, beads, and lube can all be used to increase pleasure and sensation.

It is important to remember that when it comes to using toys, communication is key. Before trying any new toys, it is important to talk to your partner and make sure that they are comfortable with the idea. This will help to ensure that both partners are having a pleasurable and safe experience.

In addition to using toys, there are other ways to make sex with a woman more enjoyable. Taking the time to explore different positions and techniques can help to increase pleasure and intimacy. Foreplay is also important, as it helps to build anticipation and excitement. Taking the time to explore your partner’s body can also be incredibly pleasurable.

19

Keep Kissing

Keep Kissing Kissing through sex isn't always possible, but when it is, go for it. There's something intimate about kissing during sex, which adds to the pleasure of it on an emotional level.

20

Look at Her

Look at Her Look at her. I mean really look at her. Look into her eyes, watch her face, hold her gaze. The intensity this creates will affect you just as much as it affects her.

21

Don't Be Afraid to Laugh

Don't Be Afraid to Laugh Laughing when something is funny is natural, right? Be able to laugh with your partner during sex is freeing and really kind of wonderful. It relaxes you so much that pleasure is never far behind.

Ladies, anything else to add? I think this is a list we can all get behind, yes?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Damn! I love your posts! Thank you so much for even writing! You always catch my attention! ^_^

Whoa! That's what I'm talking about girl!!!

Yes! #consentissexy

Respect is everything

Great Post! Thank you!

Oops not het her I mean 

I believe this may be the VERY BEST post regarding sex that I've read in AWS!! Problem: most men of the species will not read this, nor pay heed. If men took the time to tackle the most obvious task, TALK to a woman, there'd be no need to stress these techniques or details. Great post, Lyndsie!

Really thoughtful list. Thanks for that

#Thanks for adding respect part to sex.  Because sex is something which is a normal biological event happening and that sex is not something shameful a woman who has given you consent to have sex with her doesn't mean she is less human. So men treat het with humanity and with respect. Don't make het feel as if she is doing something degrading 

Great post!

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