When it comes to dating, you might be one of many who overlook the various ways you're sabotaging your relationship. It may seem like you simply can't find the one or you blame every breakup on the other person. The problem could be you. If you're guilty of any of these ways you're sabotaging your relationship, don't worry. They can be fixed and love could be right around the corner.
One of the most common ways you're sabotaging your relationship is by trying to always keep your options open. Instead of committing to one relationship, you want to date several people at once. Odds are, you have a little black book full of guys. Guys who are looking for a serious relationship tend to avoid these situations. They prefer to have your full attention and not simply be a backburner option.
As couples grow, so does the relationship. However, sometimes we get comfortable and don't want anything to change. We settle into a happy routine and never make any progress. Our partners give up on trying to progress to the next stage which could be living together, getting engaged or even marriage. Don't be afraid to see what's next. Comfort is good, but it could be limiting the relationship's future.
For some odd reason, women love trying to fix problems. Maybe it's the maternal instincts. Choosing a partner based on their problems isn't a great way to start a relationship. If you find yourself attracted to people simply because you think you can fix them, consider a career in counseling. Basing a relationship on someone else's issues is a recipe for disaster.
I'm not saying you need to have a detailed list of what you want, but you should have some idea of what type of partner you're looking for. Make a short list of the most important attributes you want. Do they need to be child free? Do you prefer a specific religious background? Is a certain body type important to you? Knowing this upfront prevents you from going after people and dropping them quickly later on because they don't fit what you want.
The old saying that opposites attract is only partially true. For a relationship to work, there has to be something in common. For instance, why date someone who obviously doesn't want to have children when that's your heart's desire? You don't have to share every hobby, but you need some common ground. Whether it's your job ethic, a single hobby or religious views, only look for people who agree with the most important things in your life.
Sometimes we're so afraid of missing out on “the one,” that we never let ourselves commit to a relationship. Instead, we keep our eyes out for someone better. We completely lose track of our current relationship. The moment we think the grass might be greener, we dump the guy and move on to the next. Give your current partner a real chance first. The one you just left behind could've been “the one.”
At the start of a great relationship, everything seems perfect. Your partner could do no wrong. The two of you share everything and always agree. Then the day comes when you discover they're not perfect. Instead of accepting the truth, you blow their imperfections out of proportion and leave. No one is perfect, not even you. Real love means loving someone because they're not perfect.
We all go through different stages of our lives, often at different times. For instance, a college student probably isn't suited to a 40 year old with a steady job, house and a child. The best relationships occur between people who are going through similar stages in their lives. This is why most relationships don't have a massive age gap. Think about your own situation and maturity and find someone similar.
I've actually seen numerous couples break up because they felt they needed to work on themselves before getting serious. If the two of you are happy, you can still work on becoming a better you. After all, the right partner will help bring out the best of you. Don't sabotage a good thing just because you don't feel worthy. You're always worthy.
Many wonderful relationships end simply because you sabotage them without realizing it. Don't let this happen to you. Be patient, know what you want and accept people as they are. What are some ways you or someone you know has sabotaged their relationships?